login:  Relf Test Passed. goto more; /* we have done one goto; do some more */ (scj) DUE TO DAMAGES, ALL SHREDDERS ARE OUT OF SERVICE. MOVL R1, UNIX is a trademark of AT&T in the U.S.A. and other countries. buf[hdr[0]] = 0; /* unbelievably lazy ken (twit) */ - Andrew Hume case '\7': *((char *)(384*1024L+062)) = 2; /* beep */ chan[2]='m'; /* Ooh, careful! */ int three = 128+64, two = 128, one=64; verb = a > b ? 'a': c > d ? 'd': 'c'; } /* the next line is indented funny to preserve old indentation */ syslog(LOG_WARNING,"/etc/copyright may be too large"); 1 Dir(s) 70,368,744,161,280 bytes free Featuring the Intel 14.4EX with V.42bis and MNP5 YOU are welecome to Cheboxary!! Welcome to VAX/VMS Version 1.60 Due to illness, the /tbl design review is postponed until further notice. ON ENDFILE(SYSIN) GO TO ADATHIBA; /* FILE-VEGE VIZSGALATA */ static unsigned int minSz = sizeof(uslOBJECT_T);//calculate only the once! temp &= 0x07FFFBFB; // clear bits 31 and 30 2 -rw-r--r-- 1 mp 1239 Jan 17 09:40 hite upper middle class IS AN INVALID DESTINATION. As usual, please try to use a reusable mug. ON SATURDAY SUPERMAN WILL BE UNAVAILABLE FOR A MAJOR HARDWARE RECONFIGURATION Tape dump of all filesystems taken this afternoon. o UNIX System Labs launches a torrent of announcements /dev/dsk/0s4 FILE SYSTEM STATE SET TO OKAY 8:09pm up 6988 days, 2 mins, 4 users, load average: 0.00, -91189828086942664000000000000000000.00, -69406721174048.01 DEC OSF/1 V1.2 Worksystem Software (Rev. 10) The installation software has successfully installed your system. * W * :../os/main.c: 64: CC042 - Instruction Will Cause Infinite Loop * W * :test$cstatic$chatypedef$st$int$$cnt$$unsigned$$unsigned$$char$$fla$char$$fil$$FILEo: 1: CC019 - Old-fashioned Initialization. Use '=' Instead. --24 May 2001 Trojans are Stealthy, Damaging and Tenacious 11204511521426545167 c.out We are currently experiencing all printing problems k=k; /* To suppress warning */ ! TeX capacity exceeded, sorry [main memory size=263001]. "":5:operands of ++ have incompatible types "/tmp/sys.s", line 42: Too many expressions; try simplyfing "Analysis" is "design" spelled backwards. "Buffalo never Oink" -- a South Dakota travel brocure. "C" is as portable as Stonehedge!! "Coke" is a trademark of Colombian Export Enterprises, Inc. "Coma" is not the sort of name I'd use if I were striving to present a professional image. -M Horton "I instructed people on the team to follow the document retention policy, which I knew would result in the destruction of documents." -David B. Duncan "If blackouts are going to occur, there's no reason for us to be kept in the dark," Governor Davis said. "Looks uncomputable to me" said Tom, haltingly. "No one steals our chicks," sneers Duke, "and lives." "Objective" and "subjective" are not entirely subjective. - Penn Jillette "RULE 7: Option arguments cannot be optional." Sys V Interface p 343. "SPARC" is "CRAPS" backwards -- Rob Pike "Sound advice" is usually mostly sound with not much advice. "System V" is a marketing campaign, not an implementation. "The Dresser," first a play, then a movie, then AT&T headquarters. "The more you drive ... the less intelligent you are." -- Miller, in Repo Man "This is the maximum power triangle." said a lecturer, pointing to a rectangle. "misc.c", line 20: warning: shortening &(constant) may loose significance "p1_isup.c":756:compiler error: out of temporary trees "parser/lex.c":2609:redeclaration of undefine from some line -2555 "shaneystl.c", line 24: Note: Type "CC -migration" for more on anachronisms. "temp.c":8394:compiler error: whiles, fors. etc. too deeply nested "term/select.c", line 116: compiler error: bad bigsize: 010 "trans.c":31932:compiler error: out of temporary string space "x.c", line 1: cannot recover from earlier errors: goodbye! # * NOTE: Comments in this file WILL DEGRADE PERFORMANCE. * # DO NOT PUT ANYTHING AFTER THIS LINE, IT WILL GO AWAY. ## wc is a Berkeley-ism, I think. #(cat probably won't work on 8 bit files, you will have to use a simpler filter) #/->/ := #/->/ #MESSAGE TO USER: ran out of page bottoms at 44 #define ISMPXHOST(hostid) ((*(short *)(*((char **)(*((char **)(Sys[-64])+(hostid))+44))+72))&0x10) #define n_zeroes _n._n_n._n_zeroes #define struct union /* Great space saver */ #include... $ Editor (vi or emacs)? $! nulled, predecessor circle $3,000,000 $S sub m$ < 6.7 J/molK implies anomaly. Tiwari's Rule %-W-NORML Normal Successful Completion %HVHI-W-TOOMUCHQI, Your QI level has exceeded your daily quota. Please log off now! 'Gigabit' seems to mean 600 megabits. It's a VAX gigabit. - ken 'Tis a gross error, held in schools, That Fortune always favours fools. - John Gay. 'Tis better playing with a lion's whelp,/Than with an old one dying. 'Tis nobler in the mind to Look Things Up than to Pull Them Out Of The Air. (Note: an infected 8800 is an awesome engine of contagion.) (^|[ (,;])(([Jj]ul[^ ]* *|(07|7)/)0*5)([^0123456789]|$) (a0719) u wPM-US-Add a0712-a07rethan80mph.Thearrestingpatrolmanaskedhimifwantedtochecktheinstrumentusedtorecordhishighspeed. 07-21 0794 (accom): tasks.c, line 7576: accom: Internal: Out of tree space. Cannot continue compilation. The current size was specified as or defaulted to -Wf,-XNh1000 giving a table size of 1000. Recompile giving a command line option to increase the table size. Example option giving a larger table: -Wf,-XNh2000 (gdb) maintenance demangle __17__class_type_infoPCcPCQ217__class_type_info9base_infoUl (hch:) Can't find /you/must/specify/HCDIR/bin/hc@sun41com (mozilla-bin:3115): Gtk-WARNING **: A floating object was finalized. This means that someone called g_object_unref() on an object that had only a floating reference; the initial floating reference is not owned by anyone and must be removed with gtk_object_sink() after a normal reference is obtained with g_object_ref(). - exit message from Mozilla (never claims generated from LTL formulae are stutter-closed) (void)vacuous(node); (warning) data origin prohibits saving reloc bits * Method As described above, see details below. * UNIX is a Trademark of Bell Laboratories. *** ERROR, The clock must be ON to execute HALT command *** LGP ERROR ***: Initialize -- Cannot initialize graphics hardware device. *** Message content is not printable: delete, write or save it to a file *** *** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE *** *** {02.38.001} Win - Multiple Trillian vulnerabilities **THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE FROM SOFTSHOE** --rw-rw-r-- f 0 bwk bwk 58372782 Jan 24 12:21 .profile --rwxr-xr-x M 9501 geoff geoff 1417216 Dec 30 14:16 . -1: No code table for op: ++post -bash: /home/r/.bash_logout: Permission denied ... Forking an allegro process requires only seconds... -V. Kelly ...and on the seventh day, He exited from append mode. ...and you find you get masses of energy. -from a Relativity lecture ...the non-uniqueness is exponentially small. .NOTICE; ;?This comment is definitely out of date /* I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS CRAPY CODE -- presotto */ /* Error in I/O : try another ioctl : see if it works*/ //******************************************* A L I G N M E N T ********************************************** /@burro.ws: Permission denied /bin/../lib/gcc-lib/i386-lucent-plan9/3.0/../../../../i386-lucent-plan9/lib/i386-lucent-plan9/3.0/ /bin/ls: exec header invalid /dev/rra13: !!counts may be wrong, RERUN chuck! /lib/shakespeare/sonnets: limbo program /n/a:/100377-15/sun3/4.1.1/sendmail: Ascii & Extended Latin & Cyrillic & Hebrew text /n/barney/pkg2/umips-v/mips53.4.0/bsd43/bin/diff: No such file or directory /opt/gcc-2.95.2-irix6.2-o32/lib/gcc-lib/mips-sgi-irix5.3/2.95.2/cpp -lang-c -v -I. -D__GNUC__=2 -D__GNUC_MINOR__=95 -Dunix -Dmips -Dsgi -Dhost_mips -DMIPSEB -D_MIPSEB -DSYSTYPE_SVR4 -D_SVR4_SOURCE -D_MODERN_C -D__DSO__ -D_MIPS_SIM=_MIPS_SIM_ABI32 -D_MIPS_SZPTR=32 -D__unix__ -D__mips__ -D__sgi__ -D__host_mips__ -D__MIPSEB__ -D_MIPSEB -D__SYSTYPE_SVR4__ -D_SVR4_SOURCE -D_MODERN_C -D__DSO__ -D_MIPS_SIM=_MIPS_SIM_ABI32 -D_MIPS_SZPTR=32 -D__unix -D__mips -D__sgi -D__host_mips -D__MIPSEB -D__SYSTYPE_SVR4 -Asystem(unix) -Asystem(svr4) -Acpu(mips) -Amachine(sgi) -D__CHAR_UNSIGNED__ -g -Wall -pedantic -D__LANGUAGE_C -D_LANGUAGE_C -DLANGUAGE_C -D__SIZE_TYPE__=unsigned int -D__PTRDIFF_TYPE__=int -D__EXTENSIONS__ -D_SGI_SOURCE -D_LONGLONG -D_MIPS_FPSET=16 -D_MIPS_ISA=_MIPS_ISA_MIPS1 -D_MIPS_SZINT=32 -D_MIPS_SZLONG=32 u9fs.c /var/tmp/ccDttncm.i /text/plain00charsetUTF-80 you stuff by snail, /usr/games/fortune: not found /usr/games/lib/fortunes.dat: Read-only file system /usr/include/c++/3.2/backward/backward_warning.h:32:2: warning: #warning This file includes at least one deprecated or antiquated header. Please consider using one of the 32 headers found in section 17.4.1.2 of the C++ standard. Examples include substituting the header for the header for C++ includes, or instead of the deprecated header . To disable this warning use -Wno-deprecated. /usr/lib/tmac/pm: US contains oversize nested unbreakable, line 524 /usr/news/gotcha 03:23:33 0.0017 USER CLOSE CALLS - 8 0x00FFFFFFUL (ˈɒfəl). Also 4 ofall, 5 offale, -aile, 6 offalle, -awle, 1 bulls, 3 cows 10/03:System crashed 11am,Motor Generator Failure.System back at 11:30am. 100% Excellent Customer Expectation 11/28: Macrocode caused entire 5990 complex to crash 17:15 - 18:14. 1181258 SAVECORE SEGMENTATION FAULT WHILE TRYING TO SAVE CORE 12,400 managers is by far the largest number of people to leave the company on a single day. 127 now in the unregulated subsidiary; see /usr/news/btl-split 150 Opening ASCII mode data connection for 9ss.Z. 150 years ago everybody was a Christian Scientist. dmr 162 is unimplemented 16516:Eduardo: cannot execute 2 is always smaller than 3, even for large values of 2. 2 lacks generality in a way that 1 doesn't. 20 octets is 160 guys playing flutes -- rob 2001.08.30=11:45:58.88-0400 transcript/666/12016387293 nutmeg[667] transcript: Daisy: Please say, Daisy its David or David. Or say, Daisy its me, so I know who you are. 21st Century Cyborg Returns To Kill Waitress. 23. ... r-q1 23582.0u 2166.7s 21404r mk 25% of all books from Bell Labs are written by Narain Gehani. 355/113 -- not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation. 4.2BSD is like a nightmare about Tenex. - Geoff Collyer 4.2BSD may not be a complete disaster, but it does a good job of emulating one. 5. Il riversamento = dump in inglese. 5/26: /unix2 out of pace please clean up!!!!! 51HAren't you glad you don't have to do this anymore? 550 backbone... User unknown: Inappropriate ioctl for device 550 ians... User unknown: Not a typewriter 554 Who are you? 55mph -- It's not a good idea, it's just the law. 8.out 723: warning: process exceeds 2100 file descriptors : is not an identifier Just add AT&T >>>'/€€ ܇€€D/€' panic: decref >>>>>>> REMOVE ALL YOUR FILES AND DIRECTORIES NOW! <<<<<<< ?12 Machine check during machine check. ?warning: write might change good version of `/dev/null' ?warning: write might change good version of `foo' ?warning: write might change good version of `sendmail' A 10.0-szer 0.1 sohasem 1.0! A 6-char limit is like a 6-inch trout: throw it back. A 6-char limit is like night. A Comfortable Architecture A Cray is the best machine for simulating the performance of a Cray. A Fool, A Tool, A Pool; LOOPALOOTALOOFA! A Point is a pair of shorts. A Smith and Wesson beats four aces. A Trojan Horse is only dangerous if it's leaking. A bad wife is poor harvest after sixty years of husbandry. A bad workman quarrels with his tools. A barber shave another. A barking dog is no hunter. A big book is a big nuisance. - Callimachus, librarian of Alexandria A big fish is caught with tiny marshmallows. A big rock has to be a nut about success. A big rock has to be chipped away. A billion here, a billion there; soon you're talking real money. -E. Dirksen A bird in hand is safer than one overhead. A bird in the hand is messy. A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring. A block grant is a nice terminal, but it will keep you awake until noon. A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors. A blow from the frying pan, if it doesn't hurt, blackens. A bridegroom from the castle, a bride from the cottage make a good match. A chicken is just an egg's way of making more eggs. A closed mouth gathers no foot. A coach is someone who lives and behaves Our Common Bond, and views each coaching interaction as a real measure of truth. A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. A company is only as good as its least imaginative manager. A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run. A consistent indentation style is the hobgoblin of little minds. A couch is as good as a chair. A courteous climber does not drop things, including himself, on fellow climbers. A cow must graze where she is tied, or chew the rope off. A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. A critic is a legless man who teaches running. A crooked branch casts a crooked shadow. A crying child and a lord's agent get their way. A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it? A day without sunshine is like night. A diligent ant undermines the moat. A director is a man who presides over accidents. -Orson Welles A dirty mind is a perpetual solace. - Air Commodore Sir Charles Kingsford Smith A document with the name `junk.xls' is already open. You cannot open two documents with the same name, even if the documents are in different folders. To open the second document, either close the document that's currently open, or rename one of the documents. - Microsoft Excel A duck with three wings and a loaf of bread is brother to the sun god. A duck with three wings and a loaf of bread is brother to the turkey. A factor of 3000 is actually significant - Andrew Hume A fault is generally handled with a fault-handling procedure (called a fault handler) -intel 80960 ref man A fly by night leaves no shadow beyond a doubt. A fool and his money are my best friends. A fool and his money stabilize the economy. A fool at forty; a fool forever. A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. A fractal is a benchmark used for testing and evaluating various processors' numeric abilities. A fully declared Common Lisp program is as robust as assembly language. A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! A game, a teaching aid, a sport, and a piece of art. -Erno Rubik A gentleman is one who is never rude unintentionally. -Noel Coward A good horse needs only the shadow of the whip. A good memory does not equal pale ink. A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. A good wife: the family treasure. A goodly apple rotten at the heart:/Oh, what a goodly outside falsehood hath! A great deal of agonizing and very little decisiveness went into resolving this issue -- Rob Pike A hacker does for love what others would not do for money. A homeowner's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a weekend for? A horse baared don't look him in the tooth. A hydrogen bomb doesn't care how brave you are. A hypothesis is an opinion that you are trying to prove true. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance from Sam. A king's castle is his home. A liberal is one too open-minded to take his own side in an argument. A lie of omission is still a lie. A lone dime always gets the number nearly right. A lot about zarf is buggered. -AR Koenig A man does not attain the status of Galileo merely because he is persecuted; he must also be right. -Stephen Jay Gould A man must destroy himself before others can destroy him. -Mong Tse A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds. A man who turns green has eschewed protein. A man with 3 wings and a dictionary is cousin to the turkey. A man without a faith is like a fish without a bicycle. A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems. -Paul Erdös A mean guy shouldn't have any wine. A megabyte here, a megabyte there, and pretty soon you're talking real power. A megaflop is a failure of gigantic proportions. A mighty maze! but not without a plan. -Pope A monoid is an associative monad; its underlying magma is a semigroup. A more wretched hive of scum and villainy: not found. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep. A movie studio is the best toy a boy ever had. -Orson Welles A non-functioning unit should no longer be used. A one- or two-inch piece of string/Cannot be used for anything. A one-inch worm: perhaps a half-inch soul. A peasant girl can some day ride a golden palanquin. A penny in hand worth a pound in hope. A penny saved is a political breakthrough. A penny saved is one cent. A penny saved is ridiculous. A penny saved kills your career in the Pentagon. A person who knowingly causes a nuclear weapon explosion...is guilty of an offence. - British Prohibitions and Inspections Act 1998 s47(1)(a) A philosopher does not need a torch to gather glow-worms by at mid-day. -- Earnest Bramah A plague o' both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me. A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs. A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. A pretty girl and a bag of coins take watching. A procedure can never use its own name in any way except to refer to itself. A professional, motivated, customer-focused, winning team A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. A program that executes more instructions runs slower. - Pike's Law A quick promiser, a quick forgetter. A radical is a person with both feet firmly planted in the air. A random thought, if said aloud,/May soon attract a hostile crowd. A reagent will approach a ketone carbonyl group from the side with the smaller attached group. Prelog Rule A real Initiation never ends. -Aleister Crowley A real gentleman never takes bases unless he really has to. A really busy person never knows how much he weighs. -Edgar Watson Howe A recently completed trial proved TOAD Generic 1 to be reliable, user-friendly, and convenient. A resort area will be part of your next holiday plans A rolling stone gathers momentum. A rolling stone is a singing rock group. A rolling stone makes you flat. A rose by any other name would still have thorns. A sharp tongue is the business of the grapes. A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use. -W. Irving A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara. A short stranger will soon enter your life. A single post can't hold up a sagging house. A slip of the tongue cuts deeper than the sword. A song in time is worth a dime. A stitch in time keeps your tu-tu from becoming a four-four. A strange event will change your idea of a good time. A substituted biphenyl can be resolved if and only if the sum of the hanging bond lengths is greater than 0.29nm. Adam's Rule A sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down. A system is Unix if and only if it will compile and run everything on prep.ai.mit.edu without restrictions. A system programmer is someone who debugs his programs with an oscilloscope. A take is better that two you shall have. A theory is better than an explanation. A thing of Joy is a beauty forever. -Hugh Redelmeier A thousand days in the afterworld: better one day in this. A thousand throats may be slit in one night by a running man. A timely use of glue or paste/May well prevent a shocking waste. A tree is best measured when it is down. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn. A twisting road will take you to Warsaw, but you won't be bored. A u.f.o. closely encountered is no longer a u.f.o. A universal thought dispenses with communication. A vertical conference is a center-wide conference. - Steve Bellovin A victory is the greatest tragedy in the world - except a defeat. -Wellington A victory is the greatest tragedy in the world, except SunWindows. -Wellington A victory is the greatest tragedy in the world, except a defeat. -Wellington A watched pot never disappears. A watched terminal never prints. A watermelon will not ripen in your armpit. A wise man never tries to warm himself in front of a painting of a fire. A witty saying means nothing. -Voltaire A woman is only a woman, but I'm awfully good company. - Bill Gates A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. -Rudyard Kipling A woman's mind: like spring weather. A zone contains the domain names that the domain within the same domain name contains, except for domain names in delegated subdomains. A578 Your FLP overflows into your KBUF. AAAOO OOZOR AZZAZ ZAIEO AZAEI IIOZA KHOEO OOYTH OEAZA EAOOZ AKHOZ AKHEY THXAA LETHX KH ARMY FOCUSES ON SECOND BASE IN SEX PROBE Ablata at alba. Aborted early Abortion and suicide are hereditary only if you prevent them. About all some parents accomplish in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening. About all some parents accomplish in life is to send a child to Harvard. About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog. Absence is better than a cure. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. Absquotilate it in style, you old skunk,..and show the gentlemen what you can do. Abstain wholly from laurel leaves. Accelerate the pace of downsizing According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy. According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are worthless. Accounting software is structured as a set of tools that can be used to build accounting systems. Ad pulchritudinem tria requiruntur; integritas, consonantia, claritas. -Aquinas Additionally, the paper [xxx] can serve as an excellent tool to help any new project introspect about how it will do business. - Jim Coplien Admiration is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. Adversity is the source of strength. Advertising mode - Delivery mode After 24 hours, corpses and guests smell bad. After all, a murderer is only an extroverted suicide. After hydrogen, the most common thing in the universe is stupidity. -Harlan Ellison After the paunch comes the dance. Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change. Again, and strongly, undress the sheep. It is getting to visitors. Aibohphobia (n.) abnormal fear of palindromes. Al Schumann, that devil-may-care Intern from FSD is leaving Tom Houghton's Security Group. Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else's water lily. All I do is wait for your clumsy hands to make mincemeat of my apparel. All along the untrodden paths of the future, I can see the footprints of an unseen hand. Sir Boyle Roche, MP All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly aurifers. All dare to write, who can or cannot read. -Horace, `Epistles', Book II All my men wear badges, or they wear nothing at all. All of the bridges between our today and our yesteryear have been burnt. All of these futures having been sold, this fortune appears as a matter of record only. All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism. All that does not glitter is not not-gold. All the ethics in Hollywood can be rolled up and fit into a gnat's navel. All the good ones are taken. All the great men are dead and I'm not feeling too well myself. All the world is an Interdata. -DM Ritchie All things considered, life is 9-to-5 against. All things that are, are lights. All you need to know is in the manual. Almost all good computer programs contain at least one random-number generator. Although the moon is only 1/100 the size of the earth, it is much further away. Always check fire exits in hotels and motels. Always condemn the crime, not always the criminal. Always go for overkill. -Lou Reed Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working. Always lick the suction cup before you shoot the dart gun at the TV set. Always make water when you can. -Wellington Always read the labels on pesticides. Always wear underpants beneath your kanzu before you mount your bicycle. America's best buy for a dime is a telephone call to the right person. America? Astounding! All because of a fellow named Columbus and poor navigation! American Bar Association (0xABA) + Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (0xCBC) == the American Revolution (0x1776) American Non Sequitur Society: We don't make sense, but we do like pizza. An AI journal without hype? That's like a hot air balloon without the hot air. An Austrian army, awfully arrayed, Boldly by battery besieged Belgrade. An X server itself is not a big piece of software, only a few 100K. An airplane is in your future. An artist is never ahead of his time, but most people are far behind theirs. - Varese An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support. An earthen Buddha had better not play with water. An economic reality of our time: computerized job deskilling. - a book review in Science An elegant woman: eyes and nose on an egg. An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications. An elephant is a mouse with an operating system. An error has prevented <%=ServiceName%> from locating the message. An expert calligrapher knows his best brush. An extended error was returned from the server. This is typically a string or buffer containing a verbose error message. Call InternetGetLastResponseInfo to retrieve the error text. An idle mind is worth two in the bush. An old wife and an old pot are the best around the house. An oscilloscope is what cavemen used to debug fire. -Jim Veres An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction. An ox with diarrhea leaves a long trail of dung. -- Sumerian saying And I alone am returned to wag the tail. And malt does more than Milton can/to justify God's ways to man -A.E. Housman And so to bed. And the fear of you shall be the noise of a broiled fish, and all creeping things that creep upon the earth. And then there is of course the assumption that the disc is not made of beef and tossed with a hungry dog standing nearby. -Lambert Meertens Androgyny recapitulates philately. Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree. Ansitise, v.: to pollute code; converse of sanitise. Anthony Burgess reports a friend's rendezvous with the ideal mannequin, all legs and no breasts. It was like going to bed with a bicycle. Anthrax is cool. - Tad Hunt Anti-Virus Software Users: Some anti-virus software programs may interfere with the download and should be disabled while installing the Microsoft software. Any change or reform you make is going to have consequences you don't like. Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an *art*. -Chas. McCabe Any country with "democratic" in the title isn't. Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to sell it. Any mail routed through "emacs" will probably fail without benefit of a bounce-back. Any man's speeding ticket on the Interstate diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind. Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. -Clarke Any sufficiently clumsy magic is indistinguishable from technology. Any theologian understands martyrdom, but only the martyr experiences the fire. Any worm measuring bigger than 2 metres is a big worm. - sign in Gippsland Giant Worm Museum Anyone can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. Anyone who buys Wisconsin cheese is a traitor to mankind! -J. Pournelle Anyone who understands my music will never be unhappy again. -L. Van Beethoven Anyone's life is incomplete unless they are, in some smaller or larger way, saving the world. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening. Anything is possible, and it usually does. - John Lions Anything with the word 'generation' in it has to be wrong. - T.A. Cargill Apart from the extra line that's a one line proof. Apres moi, le kludge. -James H Fischer Apricots in the orchard brought so many greetings. When the apricots were gone, so were the greetings. Arabic is a language, Persian is a sweetmeat, and Turkish is an art. Arabic is a mystery -- love is just a crock. Arbitrary makes free. Are we not men? Are you kidding? Are you proposing a solution or just whining? - Dave to Dave Are you sure you want a two dimensional array? Are you sure you want to send 'Pleonasm' to the recycle bin? Areas of communication may be very busy at present. Aren't you glad his name wasn't Alexander Graham Klaxon? Aries -- this is your lucky day! Art is merely cheese made visible. Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum. As Maine goes, so goes Vermont. -Alf Landon As a domestic animal, Othello is a child. As above, so below. As complicated as the semantics of virtual inheritance may seem, its support within the compiler has proven even more complicated. - Stanley Lippman, Inside the C++ Object Model As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote. As natural as water on the frog's face. As of Tuesday, C will be flushed in favor of COBOL. Please update all programs. Ask Eduardo Krell. Ask Ken. He hates Everything. Assassination is the extreme form of censorship. At MIT the server is the unit of invention. -Rob Pike At Microsoft, quality is job 1.1. At home even wood tastes good. At the end of the year we will be a zero sum game At the feast of souls failure is always the guest of honor. At the time this is written the testing has not yet been completed, but the resulting system is guaranteed to be flawless - Dijkstra'68 At twilight, objects often start/To make odd sounds and fall apart. Atoms of even atomic number are more abundant in the universe than are atoms of odd atomic number. Harkin's Rule Attend winter sheep meetings. Learning never ends! Attention, Eduardo, the moon is red. Auribus teneo lupum. Automating a mess yields an automated mess. -Michael Hammer Available in 4E-numpty-scrunch Available only for MEI designed 3.5"MO series. Do not use it absolutely in another drive. Avarice big enough is called ambition. Ave discordia. Avoid a hasty decision. Avoid point loads. Areal loading is best, followed by line loading. Katz Rule Avoid reality at all costs. Avoid stress concentrators. Maintain structural compliance. Katz Rule Away put your weapon! I mean you no harm. Awk is certainly not perfect. - The Awk Book Awk is one of the world's greatest collections of surprises. -Doug McIlroy BASH is great, it dumps core and has clear documentation. -Ari Suntioinen BD-445G (red compact car) lights no longer on BLISS is ignorance. BREAD CRUMB BELONG ALONG HIM BIG FELLA, COME CHOP-CHOP BT,DT,fixed quite a few of them. - Al "-15kLOC during the last year" Viro BUSINESS UNIT NEWS: Bad taste is timeless. Bad termcap entry Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare. Bank error in your favor. Collect $200. Basic is like doing arithmetic with Roman numerals. - MD McIlroy Basically, we feel the UNIX industry has ignored the system management usability problem. Be hungry, but don't beg. Be sure to evaluate the bird-hand/bush ratio. Be the sea, and see me be. Bean-paste that smells like bean-paste is no good. Beautiful women come to learn most grief. Beauty is only sin deep. H H Munro Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Beauty is silent yet it speaks to us. Beauty times brains equals a constant. Becoming an overnight success usually takes years. Been Transferred Lately? Before physical activity warm up gradually. Being afraid of X is about as sensible as being afraid of sendmail. Being born: the beginning of the end. Beleidigungen, Beschwerden und Flames bitte an NUL schicken. Belief is the death of intelligence. Belly famished has no ears. Below the hull is hell. Belvime i no send this mail for make spam! Better a live beggar than a dead millionaire. Better be ignorant than mistaught. Better be right or your big venture goes wrong. -Resistor color code mnemonic Better cover the fish than chase the cat. Better plant the paddy than write poems. Better shave your mind than your skull. Better the arrow pierce your breast than your back. Better the beak of the hen than the tail of the horse. Better the wife of a divorced man than the wife of a widower. Better to eat cheese and bread than pilaf that is given as a favor. Better to have failed your Wasserman than never to have loved at all. Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act falls the shadow. Beware -- local customs vary. Check with a native before going into the jungle. Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie. Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. -Donald Knuth Beware of low-flying butterflies. Beware the foot of Nessus! Beware: the light at the end of the tunnel may be New Jersey. Beyond a certain point, the whole universe becomes a continuous Initiation. Bicycle with the traffic flow. Big fish better not swim in shallow bays. Big head, little sens. Big trees provoke the pride of winds. Bigamy is having one spouse too many. Monogamy is the same. Biggus Diggus wants YOU. Bignose from Winnetka. Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their tongues. Blessed St. Leibowitz, let them keep on dreamin' down there... Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth. Blessed are the peacocks, for they shall be called sonship of God. -Matt. 5:9 as rendered by QuickVerse 2.0 Blessed are they who Go Around in Circles, for they Shall be Known as Wheels. Blessed be the optionless, for they shall not eat gnu Blue comes from Indigo, but is bluer than Indigo. Body Count Math: 2 VC plus 1 chicken and 3 pigs equals 37 enemy killed in action. Boost, don't knock Borrow from him, he has an angel's face: repay him, a devil's. Bosses never realize that a bottle neck is always at the top. Both PH and FFF leave Ackermann's function coughing in the exhaust. Bourne again. Brain fried -- core dumped Brashith Alhim Bread is better than blossoms. Bring your wife or husband and pink slip for the best trade-in deal in town. Britain has football hooligans, Germany has neo-Nazis, and France has farmers. -The Times Brotherly love for brotherly love, but cheese for money. Bubble bubble, toil and trouble; cast that float into a double. Buckle up even on short auto trips. Buick offers inbred american quality. -TV ad Build a better mousetrap, and nature will build a better mouse. Build it so that even a fool can use it, and only a fool will want to use it. Burn the politeness. Bus error -- core dumped Bush has it backwards -- abortion is surgical; bombing is murder. -Brian Harvey Business is where the money is. - John Scully (CEO of Apple) But an autopsy on the woman's headless body failed to reveal why she died. But he who kisses the joy as it flies/Lives in Eternity's sunrise. -Wm. Blake But issues remain in the AT&T Information Systems unit. But many are not capable of a firm persuasion of anything. -Wm. Blake But when the chips are down, women hold the reins. But you'll never become a rhinoceros...you haven't got the vocation! But, Siriusly... Buy DOS, get Unix free! By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. By omnibus I traveled to Brooklyn. By the pricking of my thumbs,/Something wicked this way comes. By the time I leave office I want every single American to be able to set the clock on his VCR. -George Bush Byzantine development process C gains much of its vaunted efficiency by employing a very powerful pre-processor, usually called a ``programmer''. C'est CHouette. Swiss bumper sticker C'est dommage, mais c'est vrai. C'est la faute de Ken! C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas Unix. -Henry Spencer C++ names are systematically silly. -Bjarne Stroustrup CA002 - [CAL] ASSEMBLY TIME: 0.000000 CPU SECONDS CB is a great place to work. There are so many good going away parties. CB is a many gendered thing. CC119 - Dead code generated for vacuous expr. Cab drivers are living proof that practice does not make perfect. - David Dinkins Caches aren't architecture, they're just optimization. - Rob Pike California is a fine place to live if you happen to be an orange. - Fred Allen Campus Crusade for Cthulhu -- It found me. Can all this just be an accident? Or could there be some alien intelligence behind it? Can be applied directly on top of Tornado AE1.1 Cumulative Patch3, or on top of Tornado AE1.1 Cumulative Patch3 + patch 82607 + patch 83172. Patch 82607 and patch 83172 can not be applied on top of patch 84031. Can tomorrow be more than just the end of today? Can you sum up plan 9 in layman's terms? It does everything Unix does only less reliably - Ken Cannot fork -- try again. Cannot open phone book for . Try a different company. Capitalism is indeed obsessed with money, but Marxism is obsessed with Marxism. Captain Clark welcomes you aboard. Carcinogenicity in polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons is associated with the presence of a bay region. Bay Rule Careful how you handle scissors and fools. Carry a medical information card. Castration is not a cure-all. Cat scalded fear the cold water. Caught in --More-- loop. Caution -- be sure brain is engaged before putting mouth in gear. Caution: Do not view laser light with remaining eye. Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health. Cekoslovakyalilastirabilemediklerimizdenmiymissiniz? Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch. Celibacy is not hereditary. Center 1127 -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure! Center meeting at 4pm in 2C-543 Centran manuals are available in 2B-515. Charlie don't hack. Charlie don't surf. Chart up the hierarchies Checking system endianess... Big endian Ches is the Dennis Rodman of science. -Cliff Young Child process unexpectedly missing: No child processes. Children are hereditary: if your parents didn't have any, neither will you. Children can be substituted for adults in any case; however adults cannot be substituted for children. -Amtrak Chinese Web Site Replaces CEO. Choose your spouse carefully. -- Susan Dorward Clear your screen after you log off. Clearspeak also is a euphemism for what advertising people call the "dominant brand" or "masterbrand" approach. - Bell Labs News, April 1, 1997 (but not April Fool's) Click Here to GET the penis you want today!!! Click on the following link if you don't want to recieve any more email. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Club sandwiches, not baby seals. Cocaine is nature's way of saying you make too much money. Coffin-makers love the plague. Cogito Ergo Spud. Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. Cohesion and coupling are intertwined. Colorless green ideas sleep furiously. Communication is only possible between equals. Communism must be like one big phone company. Lenny Bruce Completed updating files, continuing to load Windows... Computers are crap, but the Apple store offers a world without toilets. - James Grimmelmann Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Computers come in putty-colored boxes and have AUTOEXEC.BAT files and run screen-savers with flying toasters, and brains do not. - Steven Pinker Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff. -Eisenhower Congress is not the sole suppository of wisdom. -Rep. Bill Schuette (R-MI) Connected to 192.65.218.43. Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness. Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. -- Oscar Wilde Constants aren't. Variables don't. LISP does. Functions won't. Bytes do. Contains no kung fu, car chases or decapitations. Content-Length: 0 Continental Life. Why do you ask? Contrary to English and other similar languages, Turkish can be hyphenated with a simple 4 state finite-state machine. Convictions cause convicts -- what you believe imprisons you. Cookie import from '/usr/dhog/lib/cookies' failed: fil Cool as the toad who snapped a mosquito. Copyright (C) 1986 Free Software Foundation, Inc. Copyright (c) 1984 AT&T. All Rights Reserved Core Error - Bus Dumped Could not open 2147478952 framebuffers. Count the chickens in autumn. Courage is something you can never totally own or totally lose. Cowards die many times before their deaths;/The valiant never taste of death but once. Crazee Edeee, his prices are INSANE!!! Creativity is no substitute for knowing what you are doing. Creditors have much better memories than debtors. Credo Elvem ipsum etiam vivere. Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves. -Brendan Behan Cryptogamous concretion never grows on mineral fragments that decline repose. Cthulhu Saves! ... in case He's hungry later. Cu' si marita sta contentu 'nu giornu, cu' ammazza 'u porco sta contentu n'annu Current trajectory of performance Cut down on fatty, high-calorie foods. Cwm fjord bank glyphs vex't quiz. DAMNIT, I AM NOT TOUCHY!!!! (and you can stick that in your fortunes file) -G. Holzmann DAT arrives/frequency notch treachery/people are not fooled DELTA backup is running, system response will be slightly degraded. DO NOT BE SELFISH! SHARE YOUR TIME WITH AN AWESOME SOLE MATE Dallas stands for culture with a 'K'. Dames is like streetcars -- The oceans is full of 'em. -Archie Bunker Dames lie about anything - just for practice. -Raymond Chandler Damn it, i gotta get outta here! Dance, Dance, Dance, She Said Dangerous knowledge is a little thing. Data potato, du wop du wop. Database has 0 items. Last update was May 12 1989. Day of inquiry. You will be subpoenaed. De minimis non curat lex. Dear Knowledge Management Network, Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. Death to all fanatics! Debate goes on over the nature of reality. Decreased cabin volume was insufficient to support human life. Deep down, we all need that escape velocity. -Steven Spielberg. Delivered-Automatically-By: the Magical Vacatioin Program Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. Department meeting in 3 minutes. Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face. Der Herrgott wurfelt nicht. -A. Einstein Devil Duckie, when you float, it's like I'm bathing in a flaming moat! Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs. - Malcolm Forbes Did you know ... that no-one ever reads these things? Did you know that 1 barn yard atmosphere = 9.2e-17 erg? Did you know that clones never use mirrors? Die ich rief, die Geister, / Werd ich nun nicht los. Die: to stop sinning suddenly. Dieux! Un monstre hideux. En hurlant. Nous poursuit. Digital plans to offer a better solution, not a better product. - R. Glorioso, DEC Dijkstra is known for GOTOs, I'm known for whales... -S.C. Johnson Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock. Discard medicine more than two years old. Disco delenda est. Disease and death recognize no face. Disk crisis, please clean up! Disobedience was Man's Original Virtue. -Oscar Wilde. Distrust yourself, and sleep before you fight. 'Tis not too late tomorrow to be brave. - J. Armstrong. Ditat Deus. Diversity better than intensity -- Xerox PARC talk (conclusion) Djahavagooweegend? Do not be distracted by meaningless messages. Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them. Do not blow into a bear's ear. Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses. Do not confuse boredom with security. Do not confuse effort with work. Do not drink coffee in early A.M. It will keep you awake until noon. Do not go gentle into that good night/Rage, rage against the dying of the light Do not meddle in the affairs of troff; it is subtle and quick to anger. Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards: it makes them soggy and hard to light. Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards: they are subtle and quick to anger. Do not meddle in the mouth. Do not scald your lips trying to eat the donut chunk floating in the coffee. Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight. Do not smoke near an open drawer. - Bell Labs safety manual. Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out if it alive. Do not tell proverbs in winter; if you do, the toads will visit you. Do not throw butts in the urinal: it makes them soggy and hard to light. Do not throw butts in the urinal: they are subtle and quick to anger. Do not underestimate the power of the Force. Do not use the blue keys on this terminal. Do something unusual today. Pay a bill. Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Do you want to restart now? Does "Xmas" celebrate the birth of Malcolm X? Does George know what he's got here? -Steven Spielberg. Does a firm persuasion that a thing is so make it so? -Wm. Blake Does anyone have Richard Stallman's phone number? I want to call him and tell him exactly what I think of his software. Criticism wants to be free. -dhog Does the additional overhead of doing a function call make this act less atomic? -- pip Does the early bird enjoy the worm as much as the late bird enjoys the sleep? Dog: throwing dirt with your hind legs. Don't anthropomorphize computers - they hate that! Don't ask a blind man to show the way. Don't attack a tiger with a company of sheep. Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted. Don't be so greedy you break your nails. Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say. Don't call in the doctor after the funeral. Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease. Don't carry a lantern in moonlight. Don't carry carts to the sea or boats to the hills. Don't carry water in a wicker basket. Don't commute, communicate. Don't conscience-stricken before they're hatched. Don't count your chickens, eat them. Don't eat "turshu" in front of a sick man. Don't eat a large meal before driving. Don't eat yellow snow. Don't fasten the handle to the pail-bottom. Don't fear a great enemy or despise a small. Don't feed the bats tonight. Don't force it, use a bigger hammer. Don't forget to run "make depend" Don't get mad, make book. Don't get shipwrecked as you enter port. Don't go down in another's fall. Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while. Don't go to the fishpond without a net. Don't go with a spineless ISP. We have more backbone! Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon. Don't ignore where the writer is in the draft. Don't judge the tree 'til you see the fruit. Don't kill the gnat and let the hornet go. Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today. Don't laugh so hard -- you'll dislocate your jaw. Don't lend your axe to get your own trees felled. Don't let your thoughts get in a rut. The knife which spreads may also cut. Don't lie if you don't have to. -Leo Szilard Don't look back -- something may be gaining on you. -Satchel Paige. Don't lug dirt to a hilltop. Don't make a pin into a pickaxe. Don't meddle in the mouth. - Mark V. Shaney Don't offer "bahmaz" to someone who has honey. Don't paint on water or carve on ice. Don't pay for the fur while the weasel's still holed up. Don't play games with me. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Don't plug your ears when you go to steal a bell. Don't put a cleaver in the clutch of a maniac. Don't put a loaded rifle on the stage unless someone intends to fire it. Don't put garlic on your head if it doesn't hurt. Don't puting nathing in the line. Today is washing poison machine. Don't rely on your nose -- TEST ATMOSPHERE! Don't scratch your shoe when your foot itches. Don't seek afar to find a wife. Don't set a cat to guard the milk. Don't settle the quarrel listening to one side only. Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him. Don't store your records anywhere you wouldn't store your valium! Don't take a gilded sword to cut a radish. Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective. Don't test every stone bridge with your stick. Don't the days seem lank and long when doughnuts don't come in. Don't try to graft the bamboo onto the pine. Don't try to have the last word. You might get it. Don't try to out-weird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. Don't try to wash out blood with blood. Don't type so hard. Don't use gasoline for cleaning. Don't use the ox-cleaver to kill a hen. Don't vote -- it only encourages them. Don't waste your prayers in the horse's ear. Don't watch a bonfire in a straw coat. Don't worry -- dat mine, it can't hurt us -- it's one of ours. -Eccles Don't worry if it doesn't work right; if everything did, you'd be out of a job. Don't worry, it's not loaded. Don't worry, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist Don't wrestle with a curtain. Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in? Don't you have anything better to do with your time? Down with categorical imperative! Draw up a family fire-escape plan. Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. -Robert Benchley Dreams are free, but there's a small charge for alterations. Dreams are free, but you get soaked on the connect time. Drink as a hole. Drink beer, think beer. Drink poison: you might as well chew up the glass too. Drive away from a tornado at a right angle. Drive defensively, buy a tank. Drive with the traffic not against the clock. Drums speak according as you strike. Ducking for apples. Change one letter and it's the story of my life. _ Dorothy Parker Due to technical problems, the BEST movie will be shown tommorrow. Due to the sophisticated nature of DSL, Verizon Online cannot guarantee uninterrupted or error-free service, or the speed of your service. Dump time is unreasonable During 1986, UNIX will dominate the low end. J. Scanlon Dyers always wear plain white clothes. Dyslexics of the world, untie! E Pluribus Unix. E Unibus Plurum. E pur si muove. E tutta colpa di Ken! ENV='${START[(_$-=1)+(_=0)-(_$-!=_${-%%*i*})]}' ERROR CREEPOUT HAS BEGUN ERROR:No man in the saddle an no horse under it either. EVACUATION ROUTE ----> EXECEPTION TABLE Each O atom has two H atoms close to it and the unit of the water molecule is preserved. Ice Rule Each man's death diminishes me for I am involved in Humanity. -John Donne Each time we take a Newton step, we hit the snare drum. -Eric Grosse Eadum sunt, quorum unum potest substitui alteri salva veritate. -Leibniz Earthquakes don't kill people; buildings do. - seismologists' saying Easy for you to type, I have to do all the work. Easy reading is damned hard writing. - Sheridan Eat more fish and less red meat. Eat snart foobs. -Unknown Jerome Eating sweets gives you no strength. Economic analysts say that while the economy may be slowing, it is not fizzling out. Edinburgh is the Reykjavik of the South. Education is basically useless, except for those rare cases when it's not really necessary. -Feynman Efficiency is doing things right, but effectiveness is doing the right thing. Eggplants don't grow on melon vines. Ego sum ens omnipotens. Eileen L. Behr has translated her skill in public speaking into a successful career selling capacitors. Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped. -Groucho Marx' last words Either I've been missing something, or nothing has been going on. Either we are alone or we are not. Either way is mind-boggling. Electricity travels one foot in a nanosecond. Hopper's Rule Electronic music has clearly come to he who drinks. Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally. Elements with high melting points have low coefficients of thermal expansion. Carnelly's Rule Elvis is alive and designed the Z80000 Employees in need of breathing air can contact Al Lynch, x6915 or Tom Giacco, x7939 to make arrangements. English is a 5-tuple ... -dmr English is a stationary halibut? English is a stretch language; one size fits all. -W. Safire Enough of this regulatory `onion' with all its layers of laws and rules; we want a NEW onion. -Robert Allen Enter your network password for Microsoft Networking. Equal differences in the chemical composition of organic compounds give equal changes in boiling point. Kopp's Rule Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion. Espanol tiene demasiada mucha grammatica. Esperanto, why don't you come to your tenses. Estne ebriamen de furfure avenaceo factum? Even Buddha: he gives blessings as we give him coins. Even a cabbage may look at a king. Even a cup of tea helps hunger for a bit. Even a hawk is an eagle among crows. Even a starving hawk won't lower himself to eat corn. Even a thief takes ten years to learn his trade. Even consistent crap is better than random crap. - Brian Redman Even if I could be Shakespeare, I think I should still choose to be Faraday. - A. Huxley Even if the onion is sharp, it has its own place on the table. Even if your relative eats your meat, he will never discard your bones. Even paranoia can sometimes be taken to extremes. Even the ant's hope may reach heaven. Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion. Even the prettiest shoe makes a sorry hat. Even the rooftop crow is touched by love. Even the simplest solution is bound to have something wrong with it. Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark. Even the thousand-zloty note can't tapdance. Even the welcome guest is a nuisance after three days. Even these days, it's not as easy to go crazy as you think. Even when he falls he doesn't get up empty-handed. Even with devils we prefer the ones we're used to. Ever see what ratfor does on a syntax error in a for loop? Ever wake up feeling like a null pointer? -Allan Pratt Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. Every cloud has a silver lining; you should have sold it, and bought titanium. Every cloud has a wet spot. Every country has their uses. Every day is not Friday; there is also Tuesday. Every day, thousands of housewives pick up speed. Every excess becomes a vice. Every extra thing you own is extra trouble. Every good joke has a short punch line. Every good subversive does it for fun. -Rich Rosen Every institution I've ever been associated with has tried to screw me. - Stephen Wolfram Every law creates a whole new criminal class overnight. Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own. Every man has a right to be valued by his best moment. -Emerson Every old barn can use a little paint. - Tammy Faye Bakker on Primetime Live 11/18/93 Every program in development at MIT expands until it can read mail. Every purchase has its price. Every solution breeds new problems. Every time you make something foolproof, along comes a better class of fool. Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense. -Gertrude Stein Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink. Everybody who's for abortion was at one time themselves a feces. -Peter Grace Everybody will soon be owning their incompetence Everyone please save /usr/news/102.sup Everything breaks down. Everything east of the San Andreas Fault will eventually plunge into the ocean. Everything in UNIX is modelled as a "file", whereas in Plan9 everything is modelled after a "burrito" - some guy on Slashdot Everything is funny so long as it is happening to someone else. -Will Rogers Everything should be as simple as possible, but no simpler. - A. Einstein Everything takes longer than you think. Everything that can ever be invented has been invented -Charles H. Duell, Commisioner of U.S. Patents, 1899. Everything you know is wrong. Everything's been said before, but nobody's listening, so keep repeating. Evil comes full circle home to us. Ewige Blumenkraft. Excellent day for drinking heavily. Spike the office water cooler. Excellent day to have a rotten day. Excellent time to become a missing person. Executive ability is in your make-up. Exercise is the Yuppie version of bulemia. Exhibition will continue to decline and ultimately lead to other sources of entertainment. Existence of this file indicates that the Nautilus configuration druid has been presented. You can manually erase this file to present the druid again. Expansion means complexity; and complexity decay. Expect change, refresh your browser often. Expected arrival date is presently unknown. -Dave Kristol Expensive solutions to all kinds of problems are often signs of mediocrity. - Ingvar Kamprad, founder of IKEA Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined. Explicit liber viri elephantini. External Security: FAILING HW: DEC FOR FASTER SERVICE, PLEASE CALL US WITH YOUR REFILLS 24 HOURS IN ADVANCE FORTRAN 8X combines the simplicity of PL/I and the parsimony of ADA. -S Feldman FOUND IN SUPPOSEDLY EMPTY EQUIPMENT, MATTOON, IL POST OFFICE 61938 FYI: POWER DIP OCCURED YESTERDAY AT 21:55...IS YOUR 3B2 OK??? Fact without theory is trivia, theory without fact is bullshit. Facta, non verba -- et verbum caro factus est. Facta, non verba. Factors which cause a marked decrease in the liquidus slope have a greater relative effect on the solidus slope. Hume-Rothery Rule Facts are stupid things. -R.W. Reagan Failed silent installation. May be failed to allocate Memory.! Fairness? Decency? How can you expect fairness and decency on a planet of sleeping people? Fallen flowers can't climb back. Far Knuth! Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth. Far too noisy, my dear Mozart. Far too many notes. -Emperor Ferdinand. Fashion, though a goddess, is a fool, and all her worshippers..are nincompoops. E. S. Barrett Fat Triangles Determine Linearly Many Holes Favor negative lobes. Fear is failure and the forerunner of failure. Fear not, the end of the world isn't until next week. February marks the fag end of Bombay's short mild winter spell. Feel your own power Few forgive without a fuss. Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Few, few the bird make her nest. Fiat lux. Fiat voluntas tua. Figure 1b shows how C++'s pure virtual functions turned a black box into a toroidal design Fill what's empty; empty what's full; scratch where it itches. -Alice Roosevelt Longworth Find the enemy and shoot him down; everything else is rubbish. -M. von Richthofen Fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can. Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy. First among blossoms the cherry: among men the warrior. First off, I'd suggest printing out a copy of the GNU coding standards, and NOT read it. Burn them, it's a great symbolic gesture. - Linus Torvalds First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is. First things first. Why not send for the Nazis right now. First we drink the wine. Then the wine drinks the wine. Then the wine drinks us. Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressperson can. Flee at once, all is discovered. Flight 23 is down in the Bermuda Triangle. Florida is the "flea and tick capital of America." Flowers seem to bloom better for widows. Fnord. For 40 days and 40 nights, you [Arthur Fadden] held the destiny of Australia in the hollow of your head. -Arthur Calwell For a good time, call 8367-3100. For any type of thing, there are more small things in the world than large things. Benford's Rule For detailed information on the "info" command, type "man info". For ease of arithmetic we call 256 the largest index even though it is really 255, except at 255 itself. -- from a manual For every action there is an awesome engine of contagion. For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision. For gift delivery anywhere call 1-800-CHEER-UP (except where prohibited by law). For me, UNIX is a way of being. -Armando P. Stettner For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they will like. For relief submerge a bum in cold water. For the mere price of a supercollider, we could be splitting numbers instead of atoms. -Mark Manasse For those who only have time to read Slashdot, may God protect you on your journey towards technical obsolescence. - David Patterson, on Slashdot Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown. Forgive your enemies, but remember their names. -- John F. Kennedy Formatting 20,00.77M - Windows 95 Forsan et haec olim meminisse juvabit. Fortis fortuna adiuvat. - Terence Fortran est; non potest legi. Fortunate are they who can laugh at themselves; they will never want for amusement. Fortune, good night, smile once more, turn thy wheel! - King Lear II.ii.180 Fortunes ... come tumbling into some men's laps. - Francis Bacon. Foster parents: more generous even than your own. Four eyes does see better than two. Framework of the mission Frankly, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. Free Dmitri - with every e-book! Free! Free!/A trip/to Mars/for 900/empty jars/Burma Shave Freedom is the right to be our own potty little selves. -G. K. Chesterton Freedom of incrustations of grime is contiguous with rectitude. Friends are better than monkeys. Friends are classes that are permitted to see each other's private parts. (in C++) Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. Friendship of a child is water into a basket. Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way. Frogs in a well shouldn't speak of the sea. From --rw-rw-rw- Sun Aug 15 04:21:17 EDT 1993 From EXPLMY: Serious internal error, check the error code in the documentation of VRFYMY. From a Walgreen's receipt: I'm JESUS. I'm here to serve you with our "7 Service Basics" From: No gas will be sold to anyone in a glass container Fungus doesn't take a vacation. -Rob Pike Future looks spotty. You will spill soup in late evening. GCC is like a very large city. None of it makes sense, but its citizens cannot escape from it. -Lucio De Re GNU Emacs comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY; type C-h C-w for full details. Gaffer's tape, like The Force, has a light and a dark side and binds the universe together. Gallium Arsenide is the material of the future and it always will be. Gcc is mainly a CPU integer-intensive benchmark written in C. Geez, you'd think standards were a continental disease or something. - Brian Reid Generalizations are useful. The work contained in them can be reckoned as labor and therefore can create value. -G.W. Hegel Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals. Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should. Genius is the talent of a person who is dead. Gentlemen, you can't fight here. This is the war room. Genuinely skillful use of obscenities is uniformly absent on the Internet. -Karl Kleinpaste Gerard insisted on flaunting his revolutionary thermal snood. Get help when lifting heavy objects. Get out of the forest while you still have daylight. Get out, and take your mucus with you. Get your boots on, 'cause we're gunna go in DEEP! Give a gift, never mind if it's a rotten nut. Give me a rock, paper and scissors and I will move the world. CCFestoon Give me a sleeping pill and tell me your troubles. Give me source! Give me challenge! Give me ideas and theory and a fresh way at looking at our life! For people who crave knowledge and really want to understand our world there will always be smart projects like Plan 9. -- northern_snow78@yahoo.com Give your child mental blocks for Christmas. Given enough inside information and unlimited credit, you've got to go broke. Gnuemacs is portable except to machines that are too small. -Richard M. Stallman Go away and you are soon forgotten. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Go out and see what the real world has to offer -Gerry Todd Go suck on an infinite tube. Go with your kids when you go trick or treating. God does not play dice. God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can choose our friends. God has spoken to me through chocolate fudge cake. God is in the rock too -- in the rock! God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place. God made the integers; all else is the work of Man. God not only plays dice with the universe, He loads the dice too. Gods! A hideous beast, baying is pursuing us! Gold is brighter even than Buddha's heaven. Golden lads and girls all must,/Like chimney sweepers, come to dust. Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris. - Thomas Appleton. Good Rule: Don't put anything in your mouth labeled "HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED" Good day for a change of scene. Repaper the bedroom wall. Good day for flaming at floyd!trb. Good day for overcoming obstacles. Try a steeplechase. Good day to avoid cops. Crawl to work. Good day to do the unexpected: write some documentation. Good day to let down old friends who need help. Good day to write a purchase requisition for a 747. Good fish get dull but sex is always fun. -- Mehinaku proverb Good health is just the slowest, most lingering way of dying. Good intentions don't mean anything unless they can deliver. Good manners and bad breath get you nowhere Good medicine has often a bitter smack. Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day. Good news: that gum you like is going to come back into style. Good passing rule: when in doubt, don't. Gort! Klaatu barada...uh...uh... Government Warning: According to the Surgeon General you're going to die. Government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some. Government is just Anarchy's way of making more anarchy. Gpklinux uses ld.so 1.9.11 libc6 2.1.3 libc5 5.4.46 binutils 2.9.5.0.37 gcc 2.95.2 Graecum est; non potest legi. Grandmother's pets make poor providers. Gratuitously incomplete sentence. Gray-tinted sunglasses reduce glare the most. Great difference betwixt men and women: but they get mighty close. Great men are not always idiots. Great shot, kid. That was one in a million. Great villainy is often called loyalty. Great warrior? Heh-heh-heh. Wars do not make one great. Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets. Growth itself becomes the only moral end. -John Dewey Gu sa-sur bi nu-ha-za sila-a KU. -- Sumerian saying Guns don't kill detectives -- love does. H e ll o, I a m lo ok in g fo r a ni c e m a n. I f yo u w oul d li k e t o co rre on d wi th m e, pl ea se c li c k t h e li n k be w. HELP! MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS STUCK DOWN, AND I CAN'T GET IT UP! HONK IF YOU'RE ENTHUSIASTIC Ha! You killed my husband, Sam. Be kind to me. Had Cleopatra's nose been shorter, the whole history of the world would have been different. - Pascal Hail to the sun god/He sure is a fun god/Ra! Ra! Ra! Half Moon tonight. (At least it's better than no Moon at all.) Hang by your pseudopod, write if you find a warm rich planet ripe for conquest. Hang in there, hammock-nose. Hangover is the wrath of the grapes. Happier the eve than the holiday itself. Happiness is just gymnastics--and I hate programs that read standard output. -Boyd Harder to feed the people than hold back the flood. Has Your Life Been Ruined by Evil? Have a nice diurnal anomaly. Have three daughters: one way to stay poor. Have you done your Christmas chopping yet? -anon. White House Advisor 12/24/81 Have you hugged my T-shirt today? Hay, be seedy! He-effigy, hate-shy jaky yellow man, oh peek, you are rusty, you've edible, you ex-wise he! Hay, be seedy! He-effigy, hate-shy jaky yellow man, oh peek, you are rusty, you've edible, you ex-wise head! He and she are so close not even water would seep between them. He bends his seven-hinged knee in eight places. He can't crumble dumplings for himself, yet he cuts noods for others. He can't think without his hat. He cried at all his own weddings, and with reason. He doesn't even know the potatoes have been boiled. He doesn't pay for the meat, but grabs the biggest "kuftas". He don't know where give with the head. He eat untill to can't more. He fell seven times and got up eight. He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. He gets wool from eggs. He go to four feet. He has a good beak. He has a good top tongue. He has a part in the coke. He has discorvered the pot to roses. He has fond the knuckle of the business. He has his bread on his knees. He has the throat paved. He has the tongue very free. He is a good devil. He is a man who gives bread. He is a stork among us chickens. He is armed of foot at up. He is as good as he is wicked. He is building a bridge over the ocean. He is dressed in rags but his heart is real brocade. He is mad to bind. He is more in debt but he weigh. He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. He is one inch good, one foot evil. He is one who treads on bread. He is poor who does not own content. He is spoiled: he peels his dumplings. He is too tough to be either boiled or broiled. He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap. He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike. He is wise who knows what is enough. He judges by what he hears, not by what he sees. He knows many things but not much of any. He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered. He lost both Ali-pilaf and Vali-pilaf. He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue. He scoops cream off water. He serves the state best who opposes it most. -Thoreau He sleeps as a marmot. He that laugheth in the face of death haveth the last laugh. He that steals a Bell-weather, shall be discover'd by the Bell. He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold. He turns as a weath turcocl. He was al coltissh, ful of ragerye,/And ful of jargon as a flekke pye. -Chaucer He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with two eyes. He who binds himself to a joy/Does the winged life destroy. -Wm. Blake He who burns his mouth on milk will blow on yogurt when eating it. He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last. He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet. He who has science and art has religion. -Goethe He who hesitates is last. He who hesitates is scrap metal. He who hesitates is sometimes saved. He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise. He who keeps his nose to the grindstone, has a flat face. He who kisses the lungfish gets chewed lips. He who knows talks not. He who talks knows not. He who laughs last is a little slow on the uptake. He who laughs, lasts. He who listens last is the last one listening. He who lives by the nit dies by the pick. He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. -H.S. Thompson He who mixes dye takes on its color. He who pities his lamb can't eat kebab. He who runs from the stinging ants may stumble upon angry hornets. He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT. He who trains his tongue to quote from learned sages will be known far and wide as a smartass. He who wears belt and suspenders needs tighter belt. He's a great eater: but that's his only skill. He's a pumpkin plus eyes and nose. Heaven cannot use two suns or a house two masters. Heaven has no mouth: it must speak through men. Hello new user, welcome to the Sun computing environment Hello, this is the Authorization Service for Area/Exch/Host. Help Run Uninsured Motorists Off the Road -- Ohio registration renewal form Help a swallow land at Capistrano. Help conquer the IQ shortage: worry less and think more. Help me, i'm a prisoner in a chinese computer terminal! Hepatitis C, formerly called hepatitis non-A, non-B, is thought to be caused by a virus called HCV. Here in Nuremberg, information hiding is much more popular in the organization than it is in the software... Here is the forecast: tomorrow will be muggy, followed by Tuegy, Weggy, Thurgy and Frigy. Het is de schuld van Ken. Hey medalist, don't forget to take out the recycling. -- Bonnie Thompson Hey, I've got it -- let's put on a show! Hi! This is your favorite irritation -- Andrew! Hi, this is Ken. What's the root password? Hi. My name is %{NAME%}%, I am 25 years of age. I happen to see your profile on the internet. Come visit me some more by viewing my site. Ethel Hidden and silent worms riddle the wood. High K/G implies ductility; low K/G implies brittleness. Pugh's Rule Higher temperature favors higher enthalpy; Higher pressure favors smaller volume. Van't Hoff's Rules Hindsight is an exact science. Hire more programmers/for Y2k Bug now -- Oops,/lights are out! His best helper is himself. His hand was bitten by his own dog. His hand was bitten by his own side in an offhand way. - Mark V. Shaney His heart was yours from the first moment that you met. His money is twice tainted: 'taint yours and 'taint mine. History doesn't repeat itself - but it rhymes. -Mark Twain History is a race between education and catastrophe. -H. G. Wells Hit me with your mid-point, she said meanly. Hit space to start Hit the water! Hit the water! Hodie tempum scriptire in Latinum non habeo. Cras epistlum submissibo. Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. Home is where / is. Homeland security begins at home. - Seattle mayor Greg Nickels Homemade bean-paste is hot. Honey in his mouth; hate in his heart. Honi soit la vache qui rit. Hop before you skip. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. Hostes aliengeni me abduxerunt. Qui annus est? How I want a drink, alcoholic of course, after the chapters involving quantum mechanics. How can I take an interest in my work when I don't like it? How can a donkey know what saffron is? How can they identify me? I had a mask on. - Weird News criminal How can you beat a dog that licks your hand? How can you work when the system's so crowded? How can you write a big system without C++? -Paul Glick How did the Universe manage to go bang in such an unreasonable way? -PCW Davies How do I love thee? Hand me my calculator... How do they know that flies carry diseases unknown to man? -BW Kernighan How do you explain that you changed your mind when you changed your hat? -Wm. Rogers How exciting to see you in traction again! How is it far, if you can think of it? How long you live has nothing to do with how long you are going to be dead. How much clearer everything is when you underline! - Ron Hardin How much net work could a network work, if a network could net work? How sharper than a child's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent. How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child. How the elephant got into my pyjamas I'll never know. -Marx, Animal Crackers How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers. How you look depends on where you go. Huge directory ./src/port --call administrator Huiswants es. Human beings are the only animals of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid. Human kind cannot bear very much reality. -T.S. Eliot Human life: impermanent as the morning dew. Humans are not pigs; they'll eat anything. Humiliation is intrinsically comic. - Frank Conroy Hunting & Fishing licenses are free to the blind, handicapped or mentally retarded. Hurray! We have successfully exploited a buffer overflow on the plan9 operating system! And most importantly, we did the most useful thing possible: we exited the shell. If you ever gain access to a plan9 box, remember that the smartest thing you can do is logout. - phrack article Hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue. Hypothesize and test. I am Magnus. You are registered in my memory banks... I am a high-pressure guy, and I didn't take this job to conduct a going-out-of-business sale. - A.A. Penzias I am a little more weird today than normal. - Andrew Hume I am become death, the shatterer of worlds. -Baghavad Gita (quoted by Oppenheimer) I am free of the wheel of Maya; I am dead to the dance of life. I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. - forsyth after Lennon on authentication I am large; I contain multitudes. I am not worried about the real world. -Pamela Zave I am the Supreme Being. I'm not entirely dim. I am the beast, I am the Word of the Aeon...I am a hell of a Holy Guru. I am the wandering glitch -- catch me if you can. I believe that robots are stealing my luggage. -- Steve Martin. I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change. - Dan Quayle I bought doshab; it turned out to be honey. I can call spirits from the vasty deep./Why, so can I, or so can any man. I can resist everything except temptation. -Oscar Wilde. I can understand "teenage mutant ninja turtles", but I can't understand "mutually recursive inline functions". I can't decide whether to throw you overboard or just change the way you look. I can't go to the mall; I have to write a sonnet. -- Rebecca Bregman I can't work out who i'm supposed to be hiding my information from in any case. - Bruce Ellis I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience. I contradict myself? Very well, then: I contradict myself. I am large. I despise the little old ladies of both sexes. -Charles Ives I did write and prove correct a 20-line program in January, but I made the mistake of testing it on our VAX and it had an error, which two weeks of searching didn't uncover, so there went one publication out the window. - David Gries, 1980 I didn't really expect to find elephants on the airport runway, and there weren't any. -dmr I didn't want to be frustrated my whole career, so I moved into computing instead. -Douglas Gwyn I dinna believe she'll hold up much longer, Captin. I do hope not to live long enough to see the launch of Quantum Windows. --Artur Ekert I do not sketch or design a work, I merely begin. -Joan Miro I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone I don't have a moral plan... I'm a Canadian. -David Cronenberg I don't have any courses for which I haven't written books. -Andy Tanenbaum I don't like to spend my time on sterile discussions -- Bjarne Stroustrup, in The Evolution of C++ I don't like to walk, and I don't like to paddle. -James Watt I don't love you any more since you ate my dog. I don't mind your thinking slowly; i mind your publishing faster than you think. -W. Pauli I don't need any help, 'cause I'm not doing anything. -Howard I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not. --Alan Smithee I don't think you can really know how heavy something is until it has fallen on you. --LeMel Hebert-Williams I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs. - Sam Goldwyn I found VC++ GUI programming more grief than COBOL using cards! :-) I give presents to the mother, but I think of the daughter. I hate musicologists. They are like maggots on dead meat. - C. P. Killian I hate nostalgia. I hated it then and I hate it now. I hate programs that chdir on you - Boyd Roberts I have 36 rolls of 5247 for our use in the laser fridge... I have NEVER written a program in C! Narain Gehani I have a brain. -Kerry Harrigan I have a different view of the world. -Andrew Hume. Show&Tell '87 I have an x86 assembler in Bash. Would that be helpful for porting Plan 9 libs to unix? -Rick Hohensee I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats; I tell them the truth and they never believe me. -Cavour I have everything we will need. I have just spent two afternoons in Summit, and I am not happy. -pjw I have lived in a few cities: Nairobi, Edinburgh, Bradford, London, Sydney, New York. Washington is much nicer than Nairobi. - Piers Lauder I have made this letter longer than usual, because I lack the time to make it short. Blaise Pascal in: Lettres Provinciales, #4, Dec 14, 1665 I have never let my schooling interfere with my breakfast cereal. I have never let my schooling interfere with my educations. I have nothing to say and I am saying it and that is poetry as I need it. -Cage I have the most perfect confidence in your indiscretion. I haven't lost my mind. I've got it backed up on tape somewhere. I hope I can finish the garbage collector before I run out of ice. - brucee I hope I stand for anti-bigotry, anti-Semitism, anti-racism. This is what drives me. - George Bush I hope my TV's software update finishes before Gilligan's Island is on. I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching. - Jack Handey I hope that there are sour apples in every bushel. I just hate to be pushed around by some @#$%^& machine. - Ken Thompson, on the i960 I just realised something... I am NOT a nerd, and none of this stuff matters. I'm Outta Here! - some guy on Slashdot I just resent the newgroup messages. -Rick Adams I just want a bare-boned, straight EMACS. - Rae McLellan I just want you to have a brief boggle at the belly-busting complexity of evaluating this. I kissed my first cigarette on the herpolhode lying in the invariable plane. I kissed my first cigarette on the stage unless someone intends to fire it. I kissed my first lady and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I have never had time for tobacco since. -Arturo Toscanini I knew it was coming and I still felt as if I'd swallowed a snowcone whole. I know nothing. -Ken Thompson I know the difference between real-real and drug-real. I like user-hostile ignorance-based amateur systems. I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. I love Pascal ... I'm also into leather. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. I love you. I may be a bad woman, but I'm awfully good company. - Fanny Brice I must have slipped a disk; my pack hurts. I neither kneaded nor baked, but I found a ready cake. I never dringk ... wine. -Bela Lugosi I never refuse. I never contradict. I sometimes forget. -Disraeli I only lie to the ones I don't like, the ones who ask stupid questions. I prefer other's wives, but my own toilet. - Japanese proverb I regard an original error as better than a borrowed truth. -Merton. I regard an original error as better than no Moon at all. I see ADA as a larger threat than communism at this point in time -- Ted Holden I see no login here! I see only darkness in the crystal ball I sense something -- a presence I haven't felt since.... I taught him everything he knows. Now he knows more. -Randal L. Schwartz I thank you from the heart of my bottom. I think I'm getting mellow in my old age. - Phil Winterbottom I think Isaac Newton is doing most of the driving right now. I think my spaceship knows which way to go. I think that I shall never see a billboard as lovely as a tree. -Ogden Nash I think we should tread very carefully on governments that are constitutionally elected. - George Bush I think you have to really be an engineer to run a technology company. - Bill Gates I think; therefore I am confused. I try not to run down MTS's in public. -P.J. Weinberger I upon the night all cats are gray. I wanna lick the syrup off your hotcakes. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers. --Charlie Hall I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job - George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign I want you to feel your own power I was an asshole when you (philw) were still a gleam in your father's eye. -Bob Flandrena I was just going to call you. I will inform you soon later. I will not suffer fools gladly, but I will gladly make fools suffer. -Bimmler I wish I had time to explain dimensional transcendentalism -Dr. Who I wish people wouldn't say "Excuse me" when I WANT them to step on my feet. I wish these damn scientists would leave intelligence to the experts. -Gen. Richard Stillwell (CIA) I wish you humans would leave me alone. I wonder how Plan 9 could be used to monitor shut-ins? -- L. Bernstein I wonder what will happen if I touch these two wires together. I would be perfectly happy being Kepler, [but] I have been Kepler many times over.-B. Mandelbrot I wouldn't give your troubles to a monkey on a rock. I wouldn't let a knight out on a dog like this! I wouldn't marry her to a ten foot Pole. I wouldn't marry him with a ten foot pole. I wouldn't take any advice, if I were you. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. I'd rather have :rofix than const. -DM Ritchie I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy. -Martin Mull I'd rather have my mail delivered by Lockheed than ride in a plane built by the Post Office. I'd rather make love amongst the flowers than take lots of cold showers. I'd still like you to explain that worm to me - Judge Munson to Robert T. Morris I'd use plan 9 before i'd use bitfields -- pjw I'll eat it if I'm wrong. I mean a potato. - Danny Sleator I'll produce anything that gets high ratings. -Anonymous NBC official I'll smoke when the pope's wife takes the pill. I'm Catholic in the same sense that if a cow was born in a tree then it's a bird. I'm TRYING to be a back end! - A Hume I'm a GEI kind of guy. - J Bentley I'm a Hollywood writer; so I put on a sports jacket and take off my brain. I'm a mere hundred pages of code from serving Datakit. -Ken Thompson I'm drawing a line under the sand. - John Major I'm free -- and freedom tastes of reality. I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you. I'm giving the demo so why don't you just shut up? -rob (to ast) I'm just andrew. -andrew I'm not easily impressed on Mondays. -Bruce Ellis I'm not writing any more tapes, ever. -A. Hume. I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life. I'm pulling *something* here. - Dom Marotta I'm smiling on the outside and beating you senseless on the inside. You creep! -- S.P. Eills I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. I'm sorry, but I've made other plans. I've done this before and never had any trouble. I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. I've got it! It's a triple helix! L. Pauling 1954. I've got lots of bad examples. -td I've got plenty of inputs and outputs. I don't need the video. -Andrew Hume I've got you under my skin; moreover, you've invaded my lymph. ICIKL: DO I = 1 /* BY +1 FELTETELEZESEVEL */ TO 2*N; IF YOU THINK THIS IS SPAM PLEASE REMOVE YOUR EMAIL OUR LIST IOT trap -- core dumped IOT trap -- core melted ISDN is real and implementable. ISDN: PPP-Daemon funktioniert nicht mehr ISO-late, v.: to delay production of code, to slow down code. Ice never gets on well with burning charcoal. If A=B and B=C, then A=C, except where void or prohibited by law. -Roy Santoro If Bell Labs is a tree, research is a blossom, development is the fruit. If Congress must do a painful thing, it must be done in an odd-numbered year. If Dennis Ritchie were the man who developed Modula-2 then C would be long forgotten. -Tarjei Jensen If God could perform the tricks we do, He'd be a happy man. If God had meant Texans to ski, he would have made bullshit white. If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands. If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions? If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows. If God meant for Texans to ski, He would have made them a mountain. If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate. If I can see a bit further it is because I stand on the shoulders of Hungarians. - Mathematician Paul Winkler If I could remember the names of all these particles I would have been a botanist. -- Enrico Fermi If I had more time, I should have written you a shorter letter. Mdm. de Staël (1766-1817) If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. -Albert Einstein If I had to choose between System V and 4.2, I'd resign. - Peter Honeyman If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell. If I say it's safe to surf this beach, Captain, it's safe to surf this beach. If I should return in my absence, kindly detain me until I get back. If I wanted your opinion, I'd tell it to you. -Samuel Goldwyn If Lincoln were alive today he would be spinning in his grave. -G. Ford If Lucifer confesses, we'll let the rest of you go. If MS/DOS is the only operating system you're ever going to use, then the procedure is simple If a centipede loses one leg, he can still walk; if he loses a hundred legs, he can still squirm. If a fancy lasts three years: call it love. If a man's going to drink a quart of whisky, at least the first gill ought to be good stuff. -Marty Brilliant If a slide is not readable when held at arm's length, it will not be readable when projected from the back of a conference hall. Slide Rule If a thousand people say a foolish thing, it remains a foolish thing. If a train station is where a train stops, what's a workstation? If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. If anything can go wrong, it will. If at first you don't succeed, have a beer. If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success. If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving is not for you. If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment. If bankers can count, why do they have eight windows and only four tellers? If butterflies had teeth like tigers they would never make it out of the hangar. If double-bubble inflation did occur, then the shadow world is exponentially uninteresting. If emacs buffers were limited to the size of memory, it would not be possible to edit /dev/mem. -tb@becket.net If email advertising won't sell your product than nothing will. If ever I utter an oath again may my soul be blasted to eternal damnation. If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. If he works for you, you work for him. If ignorance were cornflakes, you'd be General Mills. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it doesn't happen at a corner, but at an edge, it nonetheless happens at a corner. If it doesn't matter, it does not matter. If it happens, it must be possible. If it has more than three chords, it's Jazz. - Lou Reed If it isn't like TECO, it's not worth using. -Rae McLellan If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven. If it were dangerous they would post a sign... If it works, yogurt; if not, ayran. If it's Weinberger, I'm going with Ditzel. - rob If it's boring, turn it off. If it's gratitude you want, get a dog. -P. T. Barnum If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. If it's not broken, don't fix it. If it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well. If it's worth doing well, it's worth doing. If mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. If more is better then too much is just enough. If music be the breakfast food of love, kindly do not disturb until lunch time. If my career depended on dot-dot, I'd be on the dole. - philw If nothing is pressing, putter around at this or that. If snow is wet, what is light? If some day it should happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list, I've got a little list. If something could be done about cache misses, programs would run about twice as fast. -Andrew Appel If the "medium is the message" then the message of low-bandwidth timesharing is "blah". -- Alan Kay If the check is truly in the mail, it is surely made out to someone else. If the coin is heads up don't pick it up. If the enemy is within range, then so are you. If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. If the facts do not support the theory, they must be disposed of. If the government doesn't trust the people, why doesn't it elect a new people? If the other guys get it first go leverage on it If the shoe fits, buy the other one, too. If there are any resources you need to get this job done, just let us know. If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? -Art Hoppe If there was [sic] a single standard for the English language it would not be necessary to support redundant spellings. - OSF1 ls(1) man page If there were a god, we'd be able to walk upright without back problems. -Penn Jillette If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they put them all there? If they gave me a goldfish, I would cook it. -Feng Jicai If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same? If voting could change the system, it would be against the law. If we complicate things they get less simple. If we turn on the lights fast enough, we'll see what the dark looks like. If we'd all been living in California, we wouldn't have worked at ALL. If you are asleep you can't eat dumplings. If you are idle for more than 1000 hours, the system will log you out. Please save reviews frequently. If you are in a hurry go round-about. If you are what you eat, then I'm cheap, fast, and easy. If you ask how much it is, you can't afford it. If you believe everything you read better not read. If you can get your vice president to say `Hohokus' into a microphone, you've got him. -Penn Jillette If you can stick your finger in it, you can hang from it. -Andrew Hume If you can't find enough radiation at Ralph's, you can probably do without it. If you can't stand the heat, get a pool. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the oven. If you can't stand the heat, remove your clothing! If you cannot convince them, confuse them. -Harry S. Truman If you carry on, head-to-head, on `solution' you don't get anywhere If you carry treasure don't travel at night. If you climb up a tree you must climb down the same tree, unless you are a flying squirrel. If you could become more ugly, it would help your career enormously. If you do a job too well, you'll get stuck with it. If you do something stupid on UNIX you generally get strange behavior. -Doug Gwyn If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost. If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue. - Sears & Roebuck catalogue, 1897. If you don't have a sense of humor, it's just not funny. -Wavy Gravy If you don't have honey, have a honey tongue. If you don't insist on correct answers, I can make it run as fast as you want. If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter how you get there. If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes. If you don't pay attention to every little detail, you miss most of the jokes. If you eat only three-quarters full you won't need a doctor. If you enter a village where everyone is lame, eventually you will start to limp. If you fall in the street look out for dung. If you find any unidentified object under your seat, please do not attempt to smoke it. If you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you. If you get to meet sufficently important people, it's ok to debase yourself. -pjw If you give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. If you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life. If you grab the bull by the horns, feathers will fly. If you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some. If you have any questions about your Sun workstation, please call CORNET 624-2772 If you have any questions, call Ralph Knag at MH x5291 If you have to lie to someone, it's their fault. If you have to think twice about it, you're wrong. If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class? If you haven't heard of XML yet, you must be living under a rock! - Programming in the .NET Environment If you keep an open mind, people will put a lot of garbage in it. If you know high class quality merchandise, you know this is CHEAP! If you love your son make him leave home. If you make yourself a dog, make yourself a rich man's dog. If you miskey a symbol, it will be treated as text, unless it is mistaken for another symbol. -some IBM manual. If you post, don't frame, and if you roff, don't post. If you remember the '60s, you weren't there. -La Monte Young If you start now you might finish on time. If you suspect a man, don't employ him. If you take the last cup, make a new pot. If you take the last pot, make a new cup. If you think awk is the perfect programming language for the problem, you don't understand the problem yet. -Rob Pike If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first. If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it. If you think it's hard going to the moon, you should try staying home. If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow! If you want to go somewhere, goto is the best way to get there. K Thompson If you want to have clean ideas, change them like shirts. If you were able to count up to infinity I'll bet you would never get over it. If you were plowing a field what would you rather use, 2 strong oxen or 1024 chickens? -Seymour Cray If you wish to vote "No opinion" on any topic, you must cancel gut.wksh and execute gut instead. If you'll take me where I want to go, I'll take you where you think we are. If you're asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants. If you're calling to report a death, please press or say, "One". If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it. If you're like most people, and chances are pretty good that you are, ... If you're not apprehensive then you don't understand the situation. If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. If you're smart you'll remain ignorant - bobf If your article contains quoted text please take some time to pare it down to just the key points to which you are responding, or people will think you are a dweeb! -a unix news reader If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment. - E. Rutherford If your home page is where your heart is, here's where to stay: University Park HOTEL@MIT If your intentions are really good, I'll never understand them. If your mailer pays attention to pathalias output, it obviously isn't dumb. - comp.mail.uucp If your neck is as wide as your head ... take the day off. Ignorance of the privileged computer access code of ethics is no excuse. Ignore alien orders. Ignore my last message. -ark Ignore previous fortune. Ignore the fatal errors. It's O.K. Il faut cultiver son jardins. -Voltaire Ill-won money never sticks. Illegal Arbitrator - Line 23 Illegitimi non carborundum. Immanuel Kant but Kubla Khan. Impotent as a dry sardine gnashing its teeth. Improve our mechanisms for sharing BU and "white space" opportunities knowledge and laboratory and center capabilities so as to assure optimal use of contrained resources. Impurities to the left of the host in the periodic table trap hydrogen; those to the right do not. Shirley-Hall Rule In 1974 it was hard to find anyone who voted for Richard Nixon in 1972. In Africa the tusks are too firmly rooted, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. In Pursuit of Software Excellence: If you want to become a leader, follow the leaders. In a quarrel both sides should be punished. In addition to a yes and a no, the universe contains a maybe. -D. Finkelstein In an electrolyte, the product of the equivalent conductivity at infinite dilution and of the viscosity of the solvent is a constant. Walden's Rule In an evolving universe, who stands still moves backwards. In any society, the correct pronunciation is the dialect that has an army. In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!". In challenging a kzin, a simple scream of rage is sufficient. In choosing a wife look first at her mother. In communism Man exploits Man. In capitalism it's the other way around. In comparison with the ancients, we stand like dwarfs on the shoulders of giants. -Bernard of Chartres In days of yore, the crab and the crayfish lived in the forest. In diamagnetic organic compounds, the molar magnetic susceptibility is an additive property. Pascal's Rule In dichroic crystals, the faster ray is less absorbed. Babinet Rule In dipole radiation, only transitions between terms of opposite parity are allowed. Laporte's Rule In general, cis compounds have a higher density and higher refractive index than do the trans isomerides. Auwers-Skita Rule In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni. In her right armpit, snapper only are the fish of that place. In label expressions, <> expressions are ignored inside .char expressions. In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. In nature there is immediate adjustment but no compulsion. -Chuang Chou In order to make an omelette, you have to break a few cooks. In order to obtain equations which reproduce a fractal object, tile the object with smaller copies of itself. Barnsley's Rule In our system, /usr/include/sys is a hazard. -mvs In rebus mathematicis errores quam minimi non sunt contemnendi. In science, we give our highest award to people that prove us wrong. -- Michael Goudeau In the Unix tradition, vi is intended to be a small tool that does one thing well. In the anomalous Zeeman effect, lines of the same series exhibit the same pattern. Preston's Rule In the bad old days you'd just write a five line function to [calculate a CRC]. In the good new days, you declare a CRC class with at least three constructors, a destructor, a copy constructor, an assignment operator, a Calculate method, and then you make the calculated value private because God forbid people should be allowed to access it directly and then you need an accessor method, or why not have several such as GetCRCAsFormattedString I think I'll go and lie down now it must be time for my medication. - Andrew Simmons In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings. In the forest a skillet sounds like music. In the future, all programmers will be able to use malloc. In the land of the blind the one-eyed man can see across the road and prove it. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. In the land of the one-eyed men, the blind have to wear glasses. In the last 100 years man's capability started to grow exponentially, to literally explode. -E. E. Sumner In the long run, we are all dead. -Keynes In the mountains we forget to count the days. In the sentence `The logical operators are OR and AND and XOR,' there should be spaces between OR and and and and and AND and AND and and and and and XOR. In the upcoming times of cutbacks, the defense industry can turn to making stimulation devices. In this country, everything loose rolls to the west coast. -T. Vanderslice, Apollo In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it. In time even youth grows old. In wealth, many friends: in poverty, not even relatives. Incest more common than thought in United States Incest, like charity, begins at home. Increase your product value with autographs Indeed, the SF population is involved in building temples and organizing other kinds of religious activities. -Mark V. Shaney Indian Hill is like the Borg. -- Phil Winterbottom Infinite retry on parallel printer time-out Insanity is always the best defense against boredom. Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out. -N. Wirth Intense opportunities for reorganization Intermittent resolutions lack potency. -Robert Silverberg Into each life a little fallout must rain. -Baba Rebop Intoxication, whether Dionysian or Apollonian, of an aggregate is the second-biggest disappointment in a fight with a hammer. Invalid null command. Invalids live the longest. Is it a lot of blokes with long hair and guitars around their necks? -Keith Richards (on Nirvana) Is the tool broadly supported or maintained? Is there no room for competition in the standards industry? -R. Hardin Isn't it funny how people say they'll never grow up to be their parents, then one day they look in the mirror and they're moving aircraft carriers into the Gulf region? - the Onion It appears that people would rather have their hands on the wheel and drive off the cliff than be thrown over naked. (scj in Computing Systems) It doesn't matter if you don't know how your program works, so long as it's parallel -R. O'Keefe It freezes to break the stones. It got to a point where I had to get a haircut or a violin. -F.D.Roosevelt It is Unix. It is possible to overcome any number of these bogus features. -pjw It is a basket bored. It is a jeweled cup without a bottom. It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. It is a very sad thing nowadays that there is so little useless information. It is absurd to deny the role of fantasy in even the strictest science. -Lenin It is bad luck to be superstitious. -Andrew W. Mathis It is better to have loved and lost -- much better. It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost. It is better to kiss an avocado than to get in a fight with an aardvark. It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness, except at the Browns Ferry reactor. It is better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven. -Milton It is better to wear out than to rust out. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. It is far better to vote for a loser than to elect one. It is far better to vote for a loser than to elect? It is fruitless to become lachrymal over precipitately departed lacteal fluid. It is hard to sit with the turkeys when you soar with the eagles. It is likely that 2^104 is an ultimate limit on storage space, unless we want to turn New Jersy into a DRAM. -chuck@pierre.mit.edu It is most enjoyable to talk with you. It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem. It is my carefully considered opinion that C++ represents an additional hazard to the survival of a project. - Alistair Cockburn It is not for you that the oven is heated. It is rarely wise to underestimate the taste of the truly pious. It is simpler to die than to live. It is the business of the future to be dangerous. -Hawkwind It is the complex case that is easier to deal with. It is the wise bird who builds her nest in a tree. It is useless to put on your brakes when you're upside down. -Paul Newman It must to break the stone for to have almond. It rained so hard the axle washed away. It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag. It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you. It steam-engines when it becomes steam-engine time. -Charles Fort It takes approximately two minutes to reposition the continents from one geological era to another. It takes ordinary men to set off great ones. It want to beat the iron during it is hot. It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead. It works better if you plug it in. It would appear that even BTL employees put their pants on one leg at a time. It would be wise to cut expectations in half. It's 5 o'clock. Do you know where your files are? It's Your Environment -- Use It Up! It's a bad household where the hen announces dawn. It's a hardware problem. It's a sad woman who buys her own perfume. It's a small world, but I'd hate to have to paint it. It's a software problem. It's a tiny change to the code and not completely disgusting. - Bob Manchek It's a useless but absolutely vital precaution. It's a very good idea to compare apples and oranges, that's a big part of what thinking is about. - Penn Jillette It's an empty head that wears a hairpiece. - Pauline Kael It's anl bart's fault! It's better to get mugged than to live a life of fear. -Freeman Dyson It's business doing pleasure with you. It's clear that buzzwording is a factor. It's clever, but is it art? It's deja vu all over again. It's difficult to explain Kleenex to an aborigine. It's earlier than you think. It's funny how they work so well, even when they're not appropriate. It's hard to be humble when you're perfect. It's hard to be mellow when you bite your nails. It's hard to be mellow when you can't stand up. It's hard to compete with conventional cukes. It's hard to love someone who looks down on you because your hands get bloody protecting him. It's impossible to hold two watermelons in one hand. It's just a silly native superstition. It's later than you think. It's like sticking your hands in someone else's pants: it just doesn't feel right. NP Nelson It's lonely at the top, but it's lonelier at the bottom. It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money. It's much better to have people flaming in the flesh. -Al Aho It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either. -Boston Mayor Kevin White It's not a car, it's a Volkswagen. It's not cool enough for the eighties. It's not easy being Joan. -- rob It's not easy to play the clown when you've got to run the whole circus. It's not impossible - just really unfair. It's not my fault -- it's a mechanical problem! It's not my fault! It's not only stupid it's wrong! It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things. It's not reality that's important, it's how you perceive things. It's not the drugs that kill; it's the doctors. It's not the time between the takes that takes the time - it's changing your mind between the takes that takes the time. -Stage Dept. It's not the time it takes to take the takes that takes the time, it's the time it takes between the takes that takes the time. -S. Spielberg It's not the years, it's the mileage. It's not whether you win or lose; it's where you place the blame. It's not who you know, but who you get drunk with, that counts. -P Dick-Lauder It's only a game! It's only one hair pulled from nine cows. It's only words ... unless they're true. -David Mamet It's possible to pick up crumbs/By pressing on them with the thumbs. It's simple, clean, it works, and you can get it right now. -Mike O'Dell It's some kind of instinct...This was an important place in their lives. It's the greatest news we have had since the 23rd of March. It's the law: Use a pun, go to prism (for minor refractions of the law only!) It's the only avant-garde we got. It's the thought, if any, that counts! -Dick Grantges It's time to gearshift up from the crawl we've been in to a full trot. - Jack Scanlon It's well we cannot hear the screams/That we create in others' dreams. It's worse than being at the theatre. Its are some blu stories. JAVA truly is the great equalizing software. It has reduced all computers to mediocrity and buggyness. - NASA's J-Track web site JUMP DON'T SIT Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday -- but never jam today. Java is the f*cking COBOL of the 90s, and future generations of geeks are going to fly back from Mars to piss on our graves for inflicting it on them. - rasputnik@hellooperator.net Jesus Rodrigues has a 9-inch duck. Jesus saves, Moses invests, the Mongol Hoards, but only Buddha pays dividends. Join me and I will complete your training. Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it. Just be glad you don't get all the government you pay for. -Will Rogers Just because they are called 'forbidden' transitions does not mean that they are forbidden. They are less allowed than allowed transitions, if you see what I mean. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Just think--IBM and DEC in the same room--and we did it. Makes you feel warm inside. -K Thompson Justice for the poor is much less popular than revenge on the rich. Keep components as small as possible. Katz Rule Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis. Keep fences even between friends. Keep flammables away from hurricanes for a secret mission. Keep flammables away from space heaters. Keep stairways clear of clutter. Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot. Keep the curtains, the farce is played. Keep your mouth shut, your eyes open. Ken Thompson can't beat Belle. So what? How fast can Seymour Cray add? Ken is an allem schuld! Ken is very smart but also very opinionated. -- Doug Gwyn Keyboard not present, press any key. Kids are always the only future the human race has. -William Saroyan Kill ugly radio! Killing for peace is like whoring for virginity. Kindness: not for others but for ourselves. Kitchen: Selecting Blendolini Causes Choco-Banana Shake Hang Klaatu barada nikto. Kleeneliness is next to Goedeliness. Knowledge does not keep any better than fish - A N Whitehead Ksh was broken on alice for a while. It hasn't dumped core lately - is it now safe to use? Kudos to everyone on the WKSH Team! Label on a bottle of pills: "Do not take these pills if this label is missing" Lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction. Lady Bloomfield's `supernatural' stories are not of a kind to challenge the scrutiny of a minimifidian in pneumatology. -Spectator, 1882 Lando's not a system, he's a man. He's a gambler, scoundrel. You'd like him. Language is a virus from outer space. -William Burroughs. Language is all that separates us from the lower animals and the bureaucrats. Last login: Sat Aug 10 09:22:14 on ttym0 Late drinking and late rising: short cuts to poverty. Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone. Laugh at throat displaied. Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either. Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, `Hold, enough!' Lazy people have no spare time. Leadership means taxes. Lean on a post not on people. Lengthen interval when the road is wet. Lepers envy syphilitics. Lesson 10 - Who killed Bambi? Lest men suspect your tale untrue,/Keep probability in view. -John Gay (1727) Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. Let me put it to you this way: computers are my business. - A.G. Hume Let no one unskilled in geometry enter here. -Plato Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Let sleeping wraiths lie. Let wisdom and virtue be the two wheels of your cart. Let's fix a frame on these issues and focus on the power dynamics in the room Let's have Unix become the next Nintendo. - Larry Dooling Let's just take this shortcut across this field. That bull doesn't see us. Let's look at the record. -Al Smith Let's not beat ourselves up for being defensive Let's share those threats Let's take Stallman's opinions and agree with them, even though we're not sure what he's talking about. -- someone on slashdot Leverage the opportunity relative to that Leveraged brainpower at the labs Li'l dollink, always fetful. Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth. License Error : The license for this product(SPARCompiler C) has expired Licorice is the liver of candy. -Michael O'Donoghue Life is a game: whoever dies with the most toys wins. Life is a giant shell and we're just processes. Life is a mystery -- love is a dancer. Life is a stage attacked by an idiot. Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string. Life is hard but unjust. Life is hard. It's even harder if you're stupid. Life is just a bowl. Life is not for everyone. -M. O'Donoghue Life is very strange - compared to what? - Penn Jillette Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. Life is what the least of us make most of us feel the least of us make the most of. -Quine Life's a bitch and then your feet wear down. - Dennis Ritchie Like Nero, the government fiddled while Rome burned--only it wasn't Rome. -- Jim Olson Like functional groups in like surroundings make like contributions to the optical rotation. Like raisins in a bread pudding, the moments lie within the body of Henry. Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone. Line 3 of "/usr/add-on/trouble/bin/trouble": syntax error; saw '<'. Undefined: "Main" Linux programmer's mind: don't invalidate the D-cache unless it wasn't enabled Linux: written by amateurs for amateurs. - D. Presotto Little girls have pretty curls, but I like Oreos. Little things come in small packages. Live fast, die young, leave a long publication list. Live forever, or die trying. Live long and perspire. Living in the past has one thing in its favour - it's cheaper. Load average too high now (11.358253), please try later Local disks are our FORTRAN. -Warren Teitelman Long computations which yield 0 (zero) are probably all for naught. Longevity is an optimist's heaven and a pessimist's hell. Look after the molehills and the mountains will look after themselves. Look at a woman at night, from afar, or under an umbrella. Look at the devil praying at the shrine. Look before you run into a pole. Look on my works, oh ye mighty, and giggle. Look up: no shame before heaven. Look down: no shame before earth. Look what David Koresh did, rather than go home and visit HIS parents! - Teller's mother Lord? We don't have no lord. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. Lose a few, lose a few. Losing your servo track is just God's way of saying `BOOGA, BOOGA!' Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. Love blinds us to our sweetheart's faults. Love is a many gendered thing. Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac. Love is only love, but money is forever. Love kept covered bursts out somehow. Love make, not more Love the sea? I dote upon it - from the beach. Love, and do what thou wilt. Lovers' quarrels re-dye love's colors. Low expectations are the key to happiness. - Pamela Zave Lucent Technologies and strategic partner Fatbrain are pleased to announce ... Lucent in Motion is almost in full swing. Lucent's motto: Let's make things harder Luchamos contra el Wombat, otra enemigo de la humanidad. -Frente Wombato de Liberacion Nacional Lucky Numbers 12, 14, 19, 24, 36, 43 Lucky Numbers `{seq 100} Lucky: like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. Luke, don't give in to hate. That leads to the dark side. ML is a language for people with excess IQ points. - John Ousterhout MOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING MOZILLA_FIVE_HOME=/opt/netscape-6.2.3-us MS/DOS is not dead, it just smells that way Machine components very carefully. Katz Rule Machne oprating at olny tn prcnt eficiency. Macro context switch under way, please do not log out! Maidens and fish don't keep. Mail version 5.2 6/21/85. Type ? for help. Make War, not Love: killing is fun too. -Nicholas von Hoffman Make a list of all the facts you know about the universe. Make checks payable to Free Software Foundation. Make is like Pascal: everybody likes it, so they go in and change it. -DM Ritchie Make use of whatever advanced technology is available Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. Make: Don't know how your program works Makefile:7: *** missing separator (did you mean TAB instead of 8 spaces?). Stop Making outside money using our computers has resulted in suspension. Making sense makes more sense than not making sense. -T. Duff Malcolm [grandson of Malcolm X] walked into court yesterday afternoon to face charges of juvenile delinquency, mumbling and hiding his head under a red plaid blanket. - N. Y. Times Male tyrannosaurs may have used their diminutive front legs to titillate female partners, but this will not explain why they got so small. - Gould and Lewontin Man cannot live by bread alone: frequently, there must be beverage, too. Man cannot live by bread alone; he needs a little peanut butter on it. Man has created death. -William Butler Yeats Man is in doubt to deem himself a god or beast. -Alexander Pope Man is in session. Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self. Man who stand on toilet ... high on pot. Man's horizons are bounded by his vision. Man-animals cannot fly! Many are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing. Many are called, few volunteer. Many are cold, but few are frozen. Many pages make a thick book. Many pleading voices can melt metal. Many system design flaws can be traced to unwarrantedly anthropomorphizing the user. Many will urinate with joy in having shared in the hacking of your neck. - a comment on netnews Marine math: 2 beers times 39 Marines is 49 cases. Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. Marriage is an attempt to change a night owl into a homing pigeon. Masterpieces make their own rules. Mathematics is ... the hot and chaotic work of the devil. Quayle needn't know this. -Vaughan Pratt Matrix to the business opportunities Maximum number of users exceeded - try again laterConnection closed by foreign host. May I have a large container of coffee? May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. May you live all the days of your life. May you live to be a hundred: may I live to be ninety-nine. May your rolling stone always grow grass that is greener underneath. Maybe I should have screwed up. - Ken Thompson Maybe there is no death as we know it. Just documents changing hands. Mcc may be slow and generate bad code, but it took a long time to develop. Mechanically Separated Chicken. - Ingredient label Medeis ageometretos eisito mou ten stegen. -Plato Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate. Memory tests terminated by keystroke Men look stupid doing aerobics. Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. -Dorothy Parker. Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples. Message will arrive in the mail. Destroy, before the FBI sees it. Metals mix with insulators if the reaction enthalpy is negative, and not if it is positive. Enthalpy of Mixing Rule Michigan House Fails to Override Veto of Medicaid Abortion Ban. Micronics makes it simple. Microsoft - We put the "backwards" into backwards compatibility. Middleware is the implementation of a concept. - Ed Szurkowski Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca. Military intelligence can be a contradiction in terms. Military justice is to justice as military music is to music. -Clemenceau Military music is to music as military intelligence is to intelligence Milk pilov is good one day at our place, the next day at yours. Millenium parties/with loud music, lights and joy;/then, how cold! Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference. Minimize the severity of impact. Katz Rule Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images. -Jean Cocteau Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate. Misfortunes arrive on wings and leave on foot. Missouri loves company. Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure. Mondale: George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize. Bush: Well, on the manhood thing, I'll put mine up against his any time. Money cannot buy happiness, but happiness will not buy groceries. Money even buys men out of hell. Money is a terrible thing to follow but a charming thing to meet. Money is fruit of the perseverance tree. Money is like an eel in the hand: slippery and wiggly, but ever-so-tasty. Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots. Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love. Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. Money will say more in one moment than the wife of a sick goldfish. Money, sex, storage, and bandwidth -- these are the things where too much is enough. - Arno Penzias Morality is ubiquitous in everything that is good or bad. More Not-Yet-Published Bestsellers - category on amazon.com More than just a book -- it's a major piece of torture. Most programmers have no idea what they're getting into when they're programming in a windowing environment. -Mark Hanner Most sacrilegious murder hath broke ope/The Lord's anointed temple. -MacBeth Most users are within a 10 mile radius. Motto: Compute with fermions, communicate with bosons. -Vincent Heuring Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there! Mr. President! We cannot allow ... a MINE-SHAFT GAP! Much may be made of a Scotchman, if he be caught young. - Samuel Johnson Multi sunt vocati, pauci vero electi. Multi-place measurements are for sissies. -Arno Penzias Multics is a powerful teaching tool. -Ken Thompson Multilevel standards are like onions. They're smelly and make you cry a lot. -Ron Natalie Murder should be put back in the home--where it belongs. -Alfred Hitchcock Music is the can opener of the soul. -Henry Miller Music is the pleasure the human soul experiences from counting without being aware that it is counting. -Leibnitz My advice to you: grind your own grain. My belief is Sean's belief is Phil did it all wrong. - Sean Quinlan. My broker is E. F. Hutton, and E. F. Hutton says... My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette My karma just ran over your dogma. My last company switched to nmake, and they're OUT OF BUISINESS :-) :-) :-) My little pilaf and I won't have headache. My pile of equipment is bigger than your pile of equipment -- philw My program is so jammed with clever tricks - GJ Holzmann My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?' - Emo Philips My way of joking is to tell the truth; it's the funniest joke in the world. NEVER name an array after a bessel function! NEW fsname = x, NEW volname = 49a126 -- DEL if wrong!! NFS implementations are a continual source of surprises. -Bruce Janson NOT NOT NOT ALLOWED NOTE..NO WEATHER WILL BE AVAILABLE NEXT WEEK, JULY 22 THROUGH THE 26TH. NT password change form: Password Change Unsuccessful: DS getobject failed for WinNT://AP01/na01\presotto: Error 80005004,. Naked is the best disguise. Narcissists receive callers without opening the door. National security is the chief cause of national insecurity. Nature abhors second order differential equations. Near neighbors: better than distant cousins. Need a personal problem? Get a personal computer. - C. P. Killian Neither a borrower nor a lender be/For loan oft loses both itself and friend. Neither burn incense nor break wind. Neither cooked at home nor brought from the neighbor's. Neither meat, nor fish. Nembutal numbs it all, but I prefer alcohol. -Strummer/Jones Nepal premier won't resign. Netnews is someone yelling "Anybody wanna buy a used car?" in a crowded theater. Network services at the Murray Hill, NJ, location (100001) will be unavailable due to UPS (Uninterrupted Power Supply) maintenance from 8:00 p.m. EDT on Saturday, June 26, to 4:00 a.m. EDT on Sunday, June 27. Never annoy a howler monkey, no matter how tempting. Never argue with a fool -- people might not know the difference. Never attribute to malice what can be found in scientific american, under computer recreations. Never buy a case of wine with eleven bottles. Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him. Never eat anything bigger than your head. Never eat in a restaurant that rotates or is above the 10th floor. Never eat rutabaga on any day of the week that has a "y" in it. Never give a inch! Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken. Never lick a gift horse in the mouth. Never put a pair of used fuel lines in your wife's suitcase. Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. Never put snow on a frostbitten part. Never speak ill of yourself; your friends will always say enough on that subject. Never stow away on a kamikaze plane. Never walk across a river that has an average depth of four feet. Never wear your best pants when you go to fight for freedom. Never work more than thirty feet from your bed. - Ruth Bernhard Never worry the boss unnecessarily. Don't tell him. New Jersey has more people per capita than any other state.- Alan Karcher, D, NJ New career ideas are worth pursuing. New crypt. See /usr/news/crypt. Next avenue of challenge Niagara Falls is the second-biggest disappointment in a bride's life. -O. Wilde Niagara Falls is the wise bird who builds her nest in a chinese computer terminal! Niagara Falls would be much more impressive if it flowed the other way. - Oscar Wilde Nihilism means nothing to the dancing peasants. Nihilism should commence with oneself. No UNIX system on the market supports more standards than DEC OSF/1. No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail. No branch is better than its trunk. No branch is better than its trunk. No directory No directory! Logging in with home=/ No good deed goes unpunished. -Clare Booth Luce. No illusion; no enlightenment. No jaggies! No law says your baby must produce a certain number of bowel movements per day - American Baby, Dec 89 No lord can rule without sometimes playing deaf and blind. No man in the saddle and no horse under it either. No man lasts more than a lifetime: his fame may last forever. No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the legislature is in session. No medicine cures stupidity. No mistake is too small to be fixed, but first make sure it's a mistake. No news is good news. No note is too high to be taken down an octave. No one calls his ayran sour. No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. No one can keep one eye in back of his head. No one ever stumbled lying snug in bed. No one sits still when the next house burns. No one wants to get into his grave still feeling frisky. -- Quentin Crisp No proper program contains an indication which as an operator-applied occurrence identifies an operator-defining occurrence which as an indication-applied occurrence identifies an indication-defining occurrence different from the one identified by the given indication as an indication-applied occurrence. - Algol 68 Report No that's your chair. Mine has the drum machine on it. - Tad No two ways about it, there are two sides to every story. No user jobs will be lost because of the crash. No viewpoints are banned. Except those banned by the law. -- Iranian President Mohammed Khatami No wonder Indians all leave... Being stuck with that food forever. - Norm Schryer No word can cut kindness. No, it's not that good a book, but you don't know that until you buy it. -Gerard Holzmann Noalias must go. This is non-negotiable. -Dennis Ritchie Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Nobody goes to the theatre unless suffering from acute bronchitis. Nobody is truly sane until he feels gratitude to the whole universe. Nobody knows anything, or if they do, they are careful to hide the fact. Nobody takes computer graphics seriously, even the guys that do it. -T. Duff Non serviam. Norm does not protect against overflow. - cos(9.3) Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Not all the water in a rough rude sea/Can wash the balm from an anointed king. Not just the connectivity point Not mistakes - highly co-ordinated mistake opportunity initiatives. Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on Sundays. Not responsible for errors in typo. Not the lover but his language wins the lady. Note: gtest.java uses a deprecated API. Recompile with "-deprecation" for details. Notegroups! They kill you! Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing. Nothing difficult is ever easy. -Steve Falco Nothing is as easy as it looks. Nothing is capable of being well set to music that is not nonsense. - Joseph Addison. Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. Nothing is impossible for the man who will not listen to reason. Nothing is true. Everything is permissible. -Hassan i Sabbah Nothing is worth spending a week with bureaucratic Germans. -rob Nothing matters indeed, it's all in your mind... Nothing more certain than incertainties; Fortune is full of fresh variety: Constant in nothing but inconstancy. - Richard Barnfield. Nothing of interest ever happened on this day. Nothing says "happy father's day" quite like the flesh-stripped skull of a moderate sized rodent. - Corey Thompson Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss. Nothing works. No one knows why. And some jerk is talking French. -Bob Lied Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. Now is not the time to be falling out of windows. -R Mclellan Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer in Northern California. Now is the winter of our discontent/Made glorious summer by this sun of York. Nuclear war doesn't prove who's right, just who's left. O Factotum, velut luna, statu variabilis! O brave new world,/That has such people in't! O dear Ophelia! I am ill at these numbers: I have not art to reckon my groans. O.T.O. wants you. OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR ODBC API Function SQLGetPrivateProfileString is not currently implemented. Further warnings will be suppressed. hello world ODIN will be down Sunday 4/2 from 8am - 9am for EASTERN DAYLIGHT TIME CHANGE. OK, I think I understand. OS 360 -- Not uranium. OSIfy, v.: To make code impenetrable. Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal. Of all things man is the measure. -Protagoras Of course he [Jim Morrison] is dead and that is a high price to pay for immortality. -Gloria Estefan Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup. Of the physical pages in use, 3436738592 pages are permanently allocated to VMS. Of the thirty-six ways to fight the best is to flee. Oh! It's one of those programs that reads standard output. - boyd Oh, don't the days seem lank and long, when all goes right and nothing goes wrong. Oh, so there you are! Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement. Old age -- it's the only disease that you don't look forward to being cured of. Old friends and new clothes: better than new friends, old clothes. Old horses don't forget the road. Old men are children twice. Old men for wisdom; young men for war. Old people tell old tales. Omit needless words that cause verbosity. Omnibus ex nihil ducendis sufficit unum. -Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz On a clear disk you can seek forever. On average, pantyhose wearers buy three pairs per month. On the cusp of losing the low cost position Once TOAD is operational, how frequently would you expect to access TOAD? Once uttered words run faster than horses. Once you start talking about Nothing, people think you're some sort of idiot. -John Cage One Bell System -- it sometimes works. One Bell System -- it works. One bad apple can ruin a snake. One bad apple can ruin a snake. One cannot hope to end one's life/With nothing but a butter knife. One dog barks at nothing: all the dogs bark with him. One falling leaf foretells death of a whole year. One finger can't open up an anus. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. -H. L. Mencken One hundred humidities equal one rain. One in three criminals have cats. One madman makes a hundred sane men flee. One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true. One man's Mede is another man's Persian. One picture is worth 128k words. One quantum of absorbed radiation activates only one molecule. Einstein Rule One scythe fits all. One starts life with a swelled head and ends with swelled feet. -Ezra Pound Only %d shopping days until Christmas. Only God can make a random selection. Only a monkey tries to catch the full moon in the pond. Only dead fish go with the flow. Only one man ever understood me. And he didn't understand me. -Hegel (on his deathbed) Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an elephant. Only the future is certain; the past is always changing. -Polish proverb Only two things are infinite: the universe and human ignorance. -A. Einstein Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny, or is that ontology recapitulates philology? Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. -Haeckel Ontogeny rehashes phylogeny. Ooh, Andy Tannenbaum? His netnews is SO derivative. Open your umbrella before you get wet. Optimal clutch power comes after eight to ten couplings. -LEGO manual Options can cause undesirable operations, so it is important to ensure they are set up properly. Order ignorant aliens. Other factors being equal, the metal which is most susceptible to failure is that with the lowest boiling point. Mogro-Campero Rule Other minor bugs also fixed, or at least stirred around. -bwk on troff Others are others; I am I. Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails. Otto's too so-so to toss soot, too sot to toot SOSs. So? Ouch! That feels good! Our ancestors may have been ignorant, but they were not stupid. Our first 'smoke' test showed that it is possible to hear Bob Marley and The Wailers through three feet of concrete. Our minds are as various as our faces. Our sponsor thought it was for ADA. In fact it was for C. Our vision will speed up time, eventually deleting it. -Alexander Schure Out of memory saving lines for undo - try using ed. Out of the mouths of babes comes semi-digested Pablum. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington Over-loving turns to over-hating. Overall there is a smell of fried onions. (fnord) Oxide/metal volume ratios which are very different to unity imply poor oxidation resistance. Pilling-Bedworth Rule P.P.S. Thanks for helping make BUY.COM the #l online computer retailer. PCMCIA == "People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms" PEALSE CAN YOU ADIVE ME WHAT TO DO :) PLEASE LOG IN TO 3B20'S AT 4800 BAUD. PLEASE! Don't urinate on the specimen. Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs. Painters and lawyers can soon change white to black. Panem et circenses, that's what the public wants. Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you. Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway oh, God, I'm so depressed... Passing over a black hole temporarily disables ship. Password: People get it into their heads that this is a democracy. Well it isn't. -gwl People never go there anymore; it's too crowded. -Yogi Berra People really shouldn't spread gossip, but what else is it good for? People tend to congregate in the back of the church and the front of the bus. People usually do what other people have done before them. People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten. -Jon Bentley People who live in glass houses shouldn't call the kettle black. People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle. People who think they know everything greatly annoy us who do. People will buy anything that's one to a customer. Per dollar, the cray is cheaper to maintain than the comets. -pjw Per omnia saecula vombatidae. Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things. Perfect love casteth out fear. Performance doesn't matter if your product is sufficiently feature-rich. --SF system engineer Perhaps we could also have a special section for the words of the prophet Bushnell, crying out in the wilderness - "The GNU Public Licence is a jealous Licence, Thou shalt have none other Licence but me" - andrew@mbmnz.co.nz Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est. Person who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought. Personality is a flimsy thing on which to build an art. -John Cage Pharr is about a day and a half. Phase boundaries, when produced, must extend into fields with a higher number of phases. Shreinemakers's Rule Philosophy is the Rule of Life. Philosopy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems. Physician, bill thyself. Pick your wife in the kitchen. Pinch yourself to know how it feels to others. Pittsburgh has become a kind of knowledge aircraft carrier, its "top-guns" scattered regularly around the planet. Plan your life at new year's; your day at dawn. Planning dooms most projects. Please browse the site to see our full range of services, we can remain customer focused and goal-directed, innovate and be an inside-out organization which facilitates sticky web-readiness transforming turnkey eyeballs to brand 24/365 paradigms with benchmark turnkey channels implementing viral e-services and dot-com action-items while we take that action item off-line and raise a red flag and remember touch base as you think about the red tape outside of the box and seize B2B e-tailers and re-envisioneer innovative partnerships that evolve dot-com initiatives delivering synergistic earballs to incentivize. - www.anadrom.net Please do not urinate in the rain gauge. - sign on Mt. Kilimanjaro Please email me off-list if you wish to discuss off-topicness. -Rick Hohensee Please let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay more magical. Please note the field below is limited to 29 characters. - Disney World hotel reservation web page Please log off, the computer is out to get in your room and drink? Please log off, the computer is out to lunch. Please note, the HomeLink logout button has moved to the upper right hand corner of the screen. Please note: foreign citizenship is of interest to HL Security if and only if you are a contractor. Please select an Aardvark Please take note: Please to remember the Fifth of November, Gunpowder Treason and Plot. Please wait while Microsoft Outlook exits. Please, serious  inquiries only. Please: Do Not Touch. Do Not Turn Crank. (This is Art: Nothing will happen if you turn the crank except that it might fall off.) Plunk your magic twanger, froggy. Pluralites non est punenda sine necessitate. -Wm. of Occam Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough. Popcorn is a good fiber food. Populus vult decipi. Pornography is in the groin of the beholder. -William F. Buckley Positrons are another matter Posixiate, v.: to kill code or render it unconscious. See asphyxiate. Possession is nine-tenths of the privileged computer access code of ethics. Post hoc, ergo propter hoc. Post proelium, praemium. Poverty is worse than the four hundred diseases. Practically noiseless and impossible to explode. - ad for the 1897 Oldsmobile Precautions must be taken first. Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. -Niels Bohr Pregnant ropuli. Premature optimization is the root of all evil. -D. E. Knuth Preserve wildlife -- pickle a squirrel today! Press Ctlt-Ds Ctlt-Del a to reboour reboour mach Prevention makes the heart grow fonder. Primate behaviour only changes under the impact of new technology. Pro is to con as progress is to Congress. Proactive rather than reactive Probably not a complicated question - how does the mount driver work? - C.R. Kalmanek Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. -Don Marquis Professionals are predictable, but the world is full of dangerous amateurs. Program in place to shed costs Programming and puddings demand consistency. Progress is made on alternate Fridays. Promoting XEmacs from Editors to Red Hat Linux Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword. Proofreading is more effective after publication. Proper planning includes admitting that your plan may not work. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity. Pure English is de rigeur. Put a smoke detector in your vacation cottage. Put not your trust in money, but your money in trust. Put your mouth where your mouth is. Quando la neve si scioglie si vede la merda. Quantity is no substitute for quality, but it's the only one we've got. Quantum Mechanics is a lovely introduction to Hilbert Spaces! Quantum mechanics do it with uncertainty. Quayle thinks that Roe v. Wade are options for crossing the Potomac. -Julian Bond Question: Did you ever have an important idea that you wanted to jot down, but... your portable, fold-up keyboard is all folded up in your pocket, and there isn't any flat place around to set it up on anyway? Questions are a burden for others; answers are a prison for oneself. Quick as a centipede with straw sandals on each foot. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. REMINDER! You're About to Get SMART! RFC 822 delenda est. RMS was neither ignorant nor lying. He simply used word choices that created confusion. ROOT MODIFIED Rain before sunset, dark by midnight. Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. Ratcheted down Reach out and Boyer-Moore egrep someone. Reach out and grep someone. Reactions of Diels-Alder type with cyclopentadiene give cyclanes with a methylene bridge across a cyclohexane ring. Bredt Rule Read my Lisp! No Gnu Faxes! Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own. Real data are normal in the middle and Cauchy in the tails. Real programmers can't say `lint' without adding `hbaxcu' -Wm Leler Real programs don't eat cache. Real software has its own 800 support line. Stu Feldman Reality has got to stop! --Mel Lastman, Mayor of Toronto Reality is a cheap hack. -Norman Wilson Reality is for those who can't handle drugs. Reality is good for you...in small doses. Reality is silly-putty. -Paul Krassner Reality seems harsher in the early morning. Reason establishes the foundation of faith. Faith compensates the error of reason. Reason is a universal instrument which can serve on any kind of occasion. -Descartes Received: from Messages.6.0.CUILIB.3.41.SNAP.NOT.LINKED.holmes.andrew.cmu.edu.rt.r3 via MS.4.0.holmes.andrew.cmu.edu.rt_r3 Recent studies have proven what most people already know: That most Penis Enlargement Pills are completely useless. We set out to design a program that really works. Recoilless rifles - aren't. Reduce speed in wet or foggy weather. Redundant hardware is not cost-effective when compared to administration-mediation solutions. Reform always comes from below. No man with four aces asks for a new deal. Registering your product will also allow us to contact you in the unlikely event that you need adjustment or modification. - Sony registration card. Regnant populi. Rei panta. Religions revolve madly around sexual questions. Remember that "almost" means "not". Remember the Unknown Buffalo. Remember when you asked me to tell you when you were being inconsiderate? Remember why the good Lord made your eyes -- Pla-gi-a-rize! -Tom Lehrer Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU. Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat. Render unto Caesar if line 54 is larger than line 62. Repentance never comes first. Repetition is a form of change. -B. Eno Replace "Lincroft" with "Loincloth"? Replace worn electrical cord without delay. Research is a great career: you get paid for looking, regardless of results. Resent-Comment: It's not OUR mailer. Maybe it's yours. Respect you in the morning?! Hell, I don't even respect you now. Rest frequently while shoveling snow. Restrain your octopus! The canoes are going fishing tomorrow. Retain the analog assets on the books Reverting to old tty driver... Rich man's appetite: never satisfied. Rich men don't die in the gutter. Ring around the collar. Ring the bell; close the book; quench the candle. Ritual is to the inner sciences what experiment is to the outer sciences. -Leary Robert Elz is the Mark Horton of the south. - P. Dick-Lauder Rog-O-Matic callidus est. Rog-O-Matic perditus est. Rog-O-Matic's not expert enough. It could handle rogue, but it couldn't handle More. Rome deserves you. - Tiberius to Caligula. Rotten wood can not be carved -Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Ch. 9) Round numbers are always false. -Samuel Johnson (c. 1750) Routers don't need IP addresses. -- Alex Mezhibovsky Routine work drives out creative work - Arno Penzias Rule 3: If the character is comprised of a container without another radical, then Rule 3 will not apply. Rule 5 Violation Run after two hares and catch none. Running is not a plan. Running is what you do when the plan fails. SCAPEGOAT=rob SCCS: the source-code motel -- your code checks in but it never checks out. Ken Thompson SCCS: the source-code motel -- your code checks in but it rhymes. -Mark Twain SLOT 7 IS NOT EMPTY, THEREFORE THIS TEST DOES NOTHING SPEC results inflated by too many compiler flags. -Microprocessor Review SQUASH, do not crush (seen on a vegetable crate) SYS ERROR 0 - no error detected Sailors in ships, sail on! Even while we died, others rode out the storm. Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone. Save a forest -- eat a beaver! Save the dot files! Save yourself! Reboot in 5 seconds! Say "hello" 40 times to the place where you have tried salt at least once. Say "no" to long-sleeved shirts!! Support your right to bare arms! Say what you will about the savings and loan crisis, it has done wonders for the ampersand. Say your prayers, you're going to Zen heaven. Saying `no,' the maiden shakes her head up and down. Schroedinger might have been here. Schroedinger's cat is sitting on Heisenberg's shoulder and they are both laughing at you. Scintillate, scintillate, aster minific. Screw up your courage! You've screwed up everything else. Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny. Secret mail has arrived. See no evil; hear no evil; speak no evil. See that ocean -- that used to be some ocean. -Burt Lancaster in Atlantic City Seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand. Select 'Yes' if you need a Logo Motion on boot. Self denial is better than self degradation. Sell everything. Market top has been reached. -Joseph Granville Semper ubi sub ubi. Send not to ask for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. Send your party guests home sober. Sense of terminal's easiness and functional file server! Sentence without verb. Set an example for your kids by learning to read and write. Set aside next day's lunch while you're at supper. Sex with someone you don't love is just gymnastics--and I hate exercise. -John Derek Señor, if you hurry from here, you will wait longer there. -Mexico taxi driver Shadows slick as eels slither through. Share your happiness with others today. She canna take much more o' this, Mr. Spock. She looks so gentle she wouldn't kill a gnat. She will have SME (subject matter experts) from her organization call you ... Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up! Push Down! Byte, byte, byte! Should you die, I'd go mad so I could talk to you all the time. Shouting proverbs from the slime pit may lead to unpleasant gargling. Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change. Si nummi immunis. Sickness comes in at the mouth: and evil goes out there. Significantly improved programming is only a reply card away. Silver is pure. It's been a symbol of justice and purity since the year of the sun. Simon says, ``Don't be so suggestible.'' Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all. Sink or Swim with Teddy! Sir Francis Drake circumcised the globe with a hundred foot clipper. Sizing and clearing 64 Mbytes of memory! Initialize local hardware! Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. Small earthquake in Chile. Not many dead. Smaller the man, bigger the anger. Smile ... tomorrow will be worse. Smoked carp is terrible unless you're out of smoked salmon. Smooth rotation butters no parsnips. -J. W. Tukey Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper. Snob intellectual bachelors can't have fun in San Antonio. -Ted Nelson Snoopy has fleas. Snow Day -- stay home. Snow on my own umbrella can be borne. So I think there may be some good information here. -A Statistician So be a pal and punget a file today. So long as radicals honor theory over facts, they will continue to dismantle their successes. So long as system messages are phrased as if a patronising aunt were addressing a retarded 4-year-old, they will continue to love it. - Patrick Ford on Macheads So many heads so much opinions. So narrow minded is the boss that he has to stack his ideas vertically. So, I'm getting on now, and people ask me, `What's it like to be old?' And I tell them ... I don't feel old, I feel young -- except there's something wrong with me. - Chuck Jones So, according to Rob Pike, "Window Systems Should Be Transparent", eh? Fortunately, Mac OS X supports *that* feature! - Brendan Connell So, if you put a G on the front you have to put a zero on the back? -Ken So, the next time something doesn't work, just push 'til it clicks. -Ag Primatic Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being. Sockets are the X windows of IO interfaces. -R. Pike Soft soap often has a high percentage of lye in it. -- Salada Tea Software is the stuff that never works, always has to be maintained, and hardware is the other stuff. - Arno Penzias Solve et coagule. Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed. -- Francis Bacon Some day this war's gonna end. Some day we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. Some day, when the universe has its heat death, they will look back and say `There are 12 Cray-2s'. -pjw Some logins deserve a message. Some don't. Yours does. Here's mine. Some men are discovered; others are found out. Some of us feel that there is a loss of scholarship here, and we're not too happy about it. -Irvin Lustig Some people know everything - but that's all they know. Some pots have lids that fit; some do not. Some pray to the gods only when in trouble. Some ride in palanquins, some bear palanquins: some weave sandals for palanquin-bearers. Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books. Some things are better left unsaid. Some time between 1991 and 1992 computers will start to kill human beings in a way that will be noticed. John Cullyer, head of RSRE. Someone's searching for sex in the 800 database. Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the Universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. -Calvin Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. -Sigmund Freud Sometimes it seems to me that men are children grown incompetent. -Carl Whitaker Sometimes when you fill a vacuum, it still sucks. -Rob Pike Sometimes you've gotta give it all you've got, because it just isn't enough. Soon you will be sitting on top of the world. Sooner or later everybody's gotta pay their tab. Sooner or later you act out what you really think. Sorry - the user interface does not work on dumb terminals. You are being put into the command mode! Sorry, I don't know how to deal with your 'dumb' terminal. Sorry, There are no Williams-Sonoma stores within 1400 miles of your location. Sorry, the passowrd you asked for is too long. Please choose a password that is 2147459392 to 8 characters long. Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted. Space shuttle experience is more common than C++ Space travel is utter bilge. -Sir Richard Van Der Riet Wolley Spare me your sorrow's tears. Spare no expense to save money on this one. -Samuel Goldwyn Sparrows know not the dreams of swans. Speaking of poison, I'll see that you get some fresh breakfast immediately. Specialization is for insects. -Robt. A. Heinlein Speed is more important than anything else in management. - Henry Schacht Spell check: did you mean unicorde? - altavista Spend extra time on hobby. Get plenty of rolling papers. Sperm bank sued for tossing samples - Headline in Star-Ledger Spill out the reports eighteen ways to Sunday Spilled water never returns to the cup. Split a stick of wood, and the Christ is there, too. Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain. Stack overflow in crawlout. User environment re-initialized. (FATAL$) Standards is an area that is constantly changing. -Carl Cargill (ed. ACM StandardView) Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down. Stare at the thumbnails closely to view larger images. Start off the day with a nourishing meal. Statelessness ... is a means to an end, and should not be an end in itself. -Jeff Mogul Status: R Stay away from flying saucers today. Stay away from hurricanes for a while. Stay clear of falling objects. Steal money you're a thief: steal a country you're a king. Stereotypes are one of the worst things in the world. -miteddie!nessus Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a laser beam is another matter. Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you. Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable. Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you. Stop worrying, you'll never get out of this world alive. Stop your jazzing and merely adduce the data -New Dictionary of American Slang on `jazz' Stop. Stopping smoking slows emphysema's progress. Store your past, present, and future in Casio's digital brain. Strange dogs don't enter if the gate is really shut. String manipulation is more complex than linked list manipulation. Stringent ideas in the upper echelon mind Strong vinegar will break its own vessel. Stupid programmer,/think ahead next time, when the/power's back. Subject: ** PROCESS CHANGE ALERT ********************** ERROR:(-)input line 8:LI:no lists active Distribution: ihlpb!pca-usi5e Subject: Convenience Center Equipment Training Subject: I NEED YOUR ASSISTANT Subject: JvNC 6/16: Tomorrow's Problems Today Subject: MVS Host "ET" Change - Connect:Direct(NDM) & TSO Subject: Overly Verbose (was Re: Korn shell source) Subject: Please ignore extra headers Subject: Re: Re: Clar ... HUMBUG! - Wrongthink st - (nf) Subject: Unidentified subject! Subject: [9fans] Re: =?iso-8859-1?Q?=5B9fans=5D_R=E9f=2E_:_=5B9fans=5D_Sun_has_a_Plan_9_inspi?=\n =?iso-8859-1?Q?red_project_called_=22Brazil=22!!=3F=3F=3F?= Subject: no subject (file transmission) Subject: slip:UX:killall: INFO: killing pid 140 Subject: testing of aliases - please disregard Succumb to natural tendencies. Be hateful and boring. Sum quod eris. Summer insects seek the flame. Sun UNIX 4.2 Release 1.1 (IAS) #1: Tue Jan 29 01:25:15 PST 1985 Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week. - Joseph Addison. Sure [Somoza]'s a son-of-a-bitch, but he's OUR son-of-a-bitch. -F.D. Roosevelt Surprise due today. Also the rent. Surprise your boss. Get to work on time. Surprises unlikely in Indiana. Surveillance should precede salientation. Svindle, v.: to rob someone of code, remove functionality. Sweet words: diseases. Hard words: medicines. Sybil gasped. There on N'Boto's palm was tattooed a perfect street map of Dundee... System down Tues. am for COBOL compiler installation. System going down at 1:45 this afternoon for disk crash. System going down for 5 minutes -- back up in barrels. System going down for 5 minutes -- back up in half an hour. System going down in 5 minutes. System might crash at any moment. System time is a count of 100-nanosecond intervals since January 1, 1601. - Windows DDK Docs System went down at Fri Dec 13 21:54:56 1901 System won't be available tomorrow 12/04 from 18:00 to 20:00 to install new cross compiler. T-shirt: Mom and Dad invented OOP in the 70's and all I got was C++ TERROR IN THE OUTPUT FILE A A TNT allows students the freedom to make mistakes. TSO -- it may be slow, but it's hard to use. TSO keeps everyone happy (TSO macht alle froh) Tai Chi is self-defense for people on Quaaludes. Take 2*3*5*7*11*13. It's divisible by 59. -Matt Crawford Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. Take care of your peonies and the dahlias will take care of themselves. Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat. Take the moon with the teeth. Take the occasion for the hairs. Take your car in for a tune-up. Take your hands off me. Te ayudare a recorder la cantidad a indoctos si releesme bien. TeX is the only program that constantly expresses its opinion on its input. Teach it ... phenomenology. Technological unemployment is total today -- 300 years ago we were all farmers. Telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head meows in Los Angeles. And radio operates exactly the same way — you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. -Albert Einstein Television is a medium. So called because it is neither rare, nor well done. -- Ernie Kovacs Tell me whom thou frequent, i will tell you which you are. Tell the girls to slice the ham thin. Ten Years Experience. New Needle. - sign on tattoo parlor Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing. Terminals at home are always in the bedroom. Testing is for bunglers. Properly designed mechanisms work properly. -E.E. Smith (Skylark 3) Thank God I'm an atheist. -Aleister Crowley Thank You for Logging Out! Thank you for choosing UNIX -- batteries not included, some assembly required. Thank you for ordering from MEDCO SUPPLY COMPANY, INC., where 100% satisfaction is gu Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas Thank you for using AT&T! Thank you for using AT&T. That doesn't make sense to me. But then, you are very small. Perhaps you're right. That goes against the laws of Physics. That make to come water in the mouth. That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all. That sort of `collusive carrying' just isn't on. That we can comprehend the little we know already is mindboggling in itself. That which does not kill me makes me stronger. That which does not kill me missed. That which feel one's snotly blow blow one's nose. That which is above is in that which is below. That's as American as pie charts. That's nothing.. RMS sent me a .doc file the other day... That's the nice thing about standards -- there's so many to choose from. -trb That's the way I got promoted, by eating everything. -pjw That's why it's distributed. So it's always wrong somewhere. The "do one thing well" philosophy underlying UNIX is best realized in a fully object-oriented environment. - some Linux guy The $SIGNON command is a risky practice. The -v option increases user-friendliness. The 1980's have quite appropriately been called the age of nail extension products. The 3B2 Model 100 - the first machine with cat -v in ROM! The Angels want to wear my red shoes. The Beatles? Isn't that Paul McCartney's old band? The Big Bang theory: In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. The Blit is a nice terminal, but it runs emacs. The Business Controls Communicator has been renamed to the GFS Process Assurance Communicator. The Constitution gives us freedom of religion, not freedom from religion -R Reagan The Democrats just stand for `I want to be a Republican,' and the Republicans stand for raw evil. -Frank Zappa The Devil Still Exists, Says Pope, Contradicting Polls The Electric God, the Fire God, all came out to help the Falun in clearing up evil demons with their supernormal capabilities resembling electricity, fire, and tornadoes. The Elements of Style is as much as guide to success as it is to grammer. - Reader on amazon.com The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am. The FSF is not overly concerned about security. - FSF The Force is strong with this one. The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet. The Government urges you to remain calm. The H atoms in ice lie on lines connecting the O atoms. Ice Rule The Holy Bible Model KJ-21 complies with the limits for a Class B Computing Device The IAU reports that RX Pup has returned to a state of high excitation and has had a mass-ejection event. The Internet grows hyperbolically, but is usually described elliptically. - Dr. Internet The Inuit have dozens of words for snow, so why do the Dutch only have one word for rain? The Italians make money out of funding their own deficit. The Journal will accept papers and letters in Microsoft Word only. The Large Deviations seminar will resume after its long hiatus ... The Linux, and in particular the Free Software, movement, if not the mark of technological progress, is the sign of social progress. - muzzetta@videobank.it, in 9fans. The Lucent Real Estate Strategic Intent: "One ignited team, unleashing productivity through bold work place solutions and unforgettable service." The Luddites always lose. Always. The Moral Majority are the people our ancestors came from Europe to escape. The Morris defense: The dog ran my homework. The Nobel Peace Prize is something worth fighting for. The PIXAR -- it's not just a job, it's an adventure. The PSPDN TE sends data to the GPRS TE by use of the GSM PLMN GPRS DNIC. The President [Bush] is just a guy who sucks in life. - White House aide The SUN really is a hunk of junk. - Tom Duff The Strategic Thrust cuts right through The Pyramid The Syracusans defeated the Athenians on their own turf, the sea. The Tao which can be talked about is not the Tao. -Lao Tzu The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad. The UFO and the BVM seem to be the same phenomenon. -Jacques Vallee The UNIX system is harder to use than a toaster. -Kaare Christian The United States Army: 194 years of proud service, unhampered by progress. The Value Added Pyramid The X server config file can be found in a range of locations. These are documented fully in the XF86Config(5x) manual page. The X server has to be the biggest program I've ever seen that doesn't do anything for you. -K Thompson The ``Never put snow on a frostbitten part'' virus has been detected within Lucent Technologies. This virus arrives in email with a subject: Why polish the corners off a sphere in a roomful of cubes? The addition is correct, but where is the money? The aim of existence is to have clean ideas, change them like shirts. The aim of existence is to offer resistance to the flow of time. The alpha is doing a lot more computation than a lightbulb -- rob The answer you seek is in an envelope. The atom of hydrogen contains about a thousand electrons. - J.J. Thomson, 1903 The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive. The attempt to fully simplify an expression will often fail to nonterminate. The average legislator is somewhere nearly all the time. -Herb Nore The backbone of Science is the demo. The barge was in my blind spot. - Peter Hobson, Cambridge cox The barracuda sleeps at sundown. The beautiful woman can destroy surely as the axe. The bee thinks to sting the ox's horn. The beggar's work: pure profit. The best of the 36 plans is to run away. The best place to find new dinosaurs is to look in basements. -Robert T. Bakker The best prophet of the future is the past. The best weapon against breast cancer is early detention. The better part of valour is discretion; in the which better part I have saved my life. The better your 4-wheel drive, the further out you get stuck. The big kicker is operator expense The biggest fish always breaks the line. The blue drinks are $5.75, the pink $8.00. The boiling point of an organic isomer is proportional to the density of the liquid at the boiling point. Montgomery's Rule The book every man has inside him should usually stay there. - AJP Taylor The boundary condition of the universe is that it has no boundary. - S. Hawking The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at. - George Bush, on the Alaska pipeline The check is in the mail. The child never changes: sometimes for a hundred years. The churches must learn humility as well as teach it. The clearest mirror cannot show the back. The colorful name kill() harks back to the origin of these interfaces in UNIX BSD. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson. The common theme to all three of the A320 crashes is lack of altitude. -Aviation expert. The complex-type shall be a simple-type. ISO 10206:1991 (Extended Pascal) The conflict has to be ritualised in order to get it addressed The connotation depends on the beacon. - Mark V. Shaney The contrary of a compound is the aggregate of the contraries of the components. - De Morgan The contrary of an aggregate is the compound of the contraries of the aggregates. - De Morgan The coroner gave you a clean bill of health. The couple's quarrel and the west wind die down at dark. The crow that apes the cormorant gets drowned. The curd seller will come to our yard, too. The darkest hour is just before the storm. The dawning of the Information Age is bringing about dramatic changes in the fundamental fabric of our civilization. - AA Penzias The days of the digital watch are numbered. -Tom Stoppard The dead tiger leaves his pelt: man his reputation. The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous. The defeated general should not talk of war. The defeated ones become the rebels. The dependency dag for a target consists of nodes connected by directed arcs. The difference between a computer scientist and a hacker is that the computer scientist knows what an exponential is. -MD McIlroy The difference between a thief and the IRS is that the thief doesn't audit you afterwards. The difference between languages is what makes a language different. The difficult we gave up on yesterday, the impossible we are giving up on now. The digital experience The dog than bark not bite. The downside of having an architecture is wart-for-wart compatibility. -Bob Willard, DEC The dreck was my idea. - Samuel Z. Arkoff The dress don't make the monk. The early bird gets the coffee left over from the night before. The early worm gets the bird. The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier. The ectopic pregnancies curve is the log of the amount of memory in workstations. -dmr The electron: May it never be of use to anybody. - toast at the Cavendish Labs. The empty fist always makes the deepest wound. The empty life is filled with tears. The end is closer than you think. The end justifies the meanness. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack. The enemy is ignorance [our own]. -Ezra Pound The entire LC comp center will be shut down from 12/12 to 12/15 for annual maintenance on our Uninterruptable Power Supply. The envMaxSize field is the environment file size. It must not exceed envMaxSize. The erosion rate of a metal depends upon the melting point. Smeltzer's Rule The essence of XML is this: the problem it solves is not hard, and it does not solve the problem well. - Phil Wadler, POPL 2003 The eyes believe themselves, the ears believe other people. The fear of the lord was discovered before vitamins. The fifty dwarves were reduced to eight before anyone suspected Hungry. The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to anyone, ever. The first star is nameless. The first step in fixing something is getting it to break. The first step is to determine what the remaining steps are. -Mark Horton The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - Henry VI, part II. The fit between the world and the human symbols describing it is never perfect. The flame brightens when about to fail. The flip side of change is trust. -George Bush The following file systems are due for backup at this time: The fool's wisdom comes after he is hurt. The foot-clog and the Buddha: both made of wood. The fortune-teller never knows his own. The fruits of impatience are bitter. The fugacity of a constituent in a mixture of gases at a given temperature is proportional to its mole fraction. Lewis-Randall Rule The full documentation for cat is maintained as a Texinfo manual. If the info and cat programs are properly installed at your site, the command "info cat" should give you access to the complete manual. The function of the sun is not to help the cabbages along. - Flaubert The function will not return until a character is read or the terminal is destroyed. The further you get, the better it looks. The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.) The future isn't what it used to be. -Arthur C. Clarke The go-between wears out a thousand sandals. The go-player doesn't get to his mother's death-bed on time. The goal of the experimental trials with the artificial heart is to "double the life span of these patients" to 60 days, Lederman said. The gods do not protect fools. Fools are protected by more capable fools. The gun law in Queensland is as follows: if you run out of petrol don't run out of bullets. The half-drunk man exposes his whole nature. The half-life of the bowling ball is considerably less than that of the proton. -dmr The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. The hardest part of raising children is teaching them to ride bicycles. The helpful thought for which you look/Is written somewhere in a book. The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee. The human brain is not a pretty sight. The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein - it rejects it. -Peter Medawar The identity range managed by replication is full and must be updated by a replication agent. The INSERT conflict occurred in database 'prevacid', table 'PROCESS_CODES', column 'ID'. The ignored registers are for future backward-compatible extensions. - IA-64 Application Developer's Architecture Guide The implementation shall behave as if no library function calls the rand function. The implementation should provide some reasonable value (80? 255? 509?) rather than something unusable like USHRT_MAX. - ANSI C Rationale The industrial revolution in the netherlands began with wind. - Dutch miller The invention of the multiple-choice exam was the death blow to competent writing. The isomer with the higher dipole moment has the higher physical constants, regardless of the heat content. Van Arkel Rule The judge's jokes are always funny. The ketchup of sorrow is better than the mustard of happiness. The kind man loves mountains. The clever man loves rivers. The knee is the Achilles heel of the leg. The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony No. 9. The last twenty-nine days of the month are the worst. -Nicola Tesla The least solvated compound is most stable at high temperatures. Van't Hoff's Rule The life of luxury is a short one. The lion will lie down with the lamb, but the lamb won't get much sleep. The longest POSIX error name is ENAMETOOLONG The lord is the sea: the subject a fish therein. The loud voice often wins the quarrel. The love of money is the mucilage of many a tragic friendship -Stuart McMillan The lucky chair was last auctioned in 1924 in Denmark when its previous owner also went bankrupt. The machine FROG was re-named MESSIAH. The major problem is with sendmail. -Mark Horton The man of knowledge can see several things at once. The man propose, and God dispose. The map is not the territory. -A. E. Van Vogt, in World of Null-A The measure of the rigor of a science is the index of its ability to predict. The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are careful to hide the fact. The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are pronounced "o". The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse. The mended lid belongs on the cracked pot. The molla saw pilaf and forgot about the Koran The more complicated the mind, the more simple the play. The more things change, the more he loves the flag. - Mark V. Shaney The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. The most effective debugging tool is still careful thought, coupled with judiciously placed print statements. -Kernighan, 1978 The move of bambam functionality to the new AP bugs is re-scheduled to Friday night The nail that raises its head is hammered down. The naked man never mislays his wallet. The name "grep" comes from the vi editor. - An undergraduate computer science course The neighbor's blossoms: pinker. The nervous system sees no color, feels no pain. -T. Leary The null string has always been a locksmith. -Albert Einstein The null string has always been a productive source of off-by-0 errors. The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected. - 2nd Edition UNIX manual The number of approved [COBOL] subsets has been reduced from 104,976 to 54. - JM Triance The observation could be "a real break-through" in osteoporosis treatment. - Science magazine The official state animal of New York is the cabbie. The official state tree of North Dakota is the telephone pole? The old forget; the young don't know. The one interesting fact about the Diplodocus is that the accent is on the second syllable. The one who wants to put on airs/Should not attempt them on the stairs. The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race. The only one who got everything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe. The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors. The only sure things in life are net.suicide and net.taxes. The only thing cheaper than hardware is talk. The only things certain in life are X and taxes. - Bart Locanthi The only way out of a circle is through the center. The only works of art America has given are her plumbing and her bridges. -Duchamp The opera isn't over until the fat lady sings. The opposite of a trivial truth is false; the opposite of a great truth is also true. The opposite side has its opposite side. The output string must have enough room, or else. - comment in VMware XFree86 driver The overhead involved in using a computer system is high enough that few people routinely use more than one. -Mike Lesk, 1980 The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot. The pale companion is not for our pomp. The path to enlightenment requires no software. The pearl the squirrel the girl hit bit split. The person who today is here/May by tomorrow disappear. The pheasant would not be caught if it didn't cry out. The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rain. The play's the thing/Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king. The plural of spouse is spice. The polhode rolls without slipping on the herpolhode lying in the invariable plane. The poor pilgrim laughs at highwaymen. The preferred steel for rodent protection is Type 304 stainless with a thickness of 3 mils. The priest is someone inside the robe. The problem is not getting ksh to execute any particular command, the problem is recognizing that there might be a problem. The problem with a just economy is, who runs the Bureau of Economic Justice? The product classroom is marked pass-fail. The proofs of the associative, commutative, and distributive laws for the integers are exercises in induction which might be called ``Peano playing.'' - An algebra textbook The prudent man does not hold his breath. The purchase often proves cheaper than the gift. The purpose of est is to help you get along with other est students. The quantity specified for 3Com Palm Vx is too great. We only have -1 available. - some e-commerce site. The rate of a chemical reaction approximately doubles with each 10° rise in temperature. Arrhenius Rule The ratio of the temperatures at which the vapor pressures of two similar substances are the same is a constant. Dång Rule The rays of the Sun are penholders which night gorges with ink. -- Reb Adal The reason Swedes put little o's over some A's is that ontology recapitulates philology. The reason Swedes put little o's over some A's is that they are pronounced "o". The reason you subscribe to a mailing list is you don't get all the crap you get on netnews. -DM Ritchie The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. -- George Bernard Shaw The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide. The rich man has his motor car, His country and his town estate. He smokes a fifty-cent cigar And jeers at Fate. - F. P. Adams The richer the country the softer its army. The screen rectangle must be charged with emotion. Hitchcock The seaweed on the shore cries out/But only it knows what about. The second line computes the sinus of the result. - Programming in the .NET Environment The secretaries don't understand me. -Rob Pike The sendmail security patch will be available in approximately two weeks. The shark leaves a golden trail. The sheep - symbolic creature of docility, sacrifice and stupidity. The shorter the line, the slower it moves. The shortest distance between two points is off the wall. The shortest distance between two points is under construction. -Noelie Altito The skeletons in the cupboard will all come out in the wash. The solid particle erosion rate of annealed face-centered cubic metals is inversely related to their hardness. Finnie-Wolak-Kabil Rule The solution is to increase the size of the manuals. - Mark V. Shaney The solution to the problem of life is seen in the vanishing of the problem. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up. The specific heat of a solid slag is the weighted average of the specific heat of the constituent oxides. Westyn's Rule The stapler runs out of staples only while you are trying to staple something. The sterile pleasure of being right tends to get stale in the course of a lifetime. EW Dijkstra The stone Buddha will sometimes speak. The stone as roll not heap up not foam. The strength of a nation lies in the integrity of its homes. -Confucius The stubborn man insists on walking right under the whip. The stylus is more potent than the claymore. The sum of the g-factors is the same for strong and weak magnetic fields, for a given value of M. g-Permanence Rule (Pauli) The sum of the maximum positive valency exhibited by an element and of its maximum negative valency is 8. Abegg's Rule The sword he sang a song of death/But could not make the sickle yield. -Blake The system is coming up. Please wait. The system is ready. The system suspend request has been rejected. To conserve power, shut down the computer. - NEC Versa LX The tallest trees: oft leveled by the storm. The thing about Chinatown is, you can never be sure of anything down there. The thousand-mile journey starts with one step. The three laws of physics: f=ma; things fall down; you can't push a rope. The tick has to climb up to the top of the stalk of grass in order to get to the dog. The tide of change approaches. The time is right to make new friends. The tree of liberty must be fed from time to time with the blood of patriots and of tyrants, for it is its natural manure. -Thomas Jefferson The tree of research must be fed from time to time with the blood of bean-counters, for it is its natural manure. -Alan Kay The true ideologist does not let mere facticity impinge on his perfect understanding of the universe. The two core competencies of AT&T are crisis management and viewgraphs. -- Dan Stanzione The two problems in supercomputer design are the thickness of the mat and getting rid of the heat. -S. Cray The unexamined life is not worth examining. The unique power of UNIX (UPOU) is that vi includes awk. The universe is laughing behind your back. The vanity of teaching often tempteth a man to forget that he is a blockhead. The voice of the people is odd,/It is, and it is not, the voice of God. -Pope The walls have hearsay. The water-carrier drinks no slime. The weakling shouldn't flaunt his jewels. The wheels of justice grind slow but fine. The whole UNIX operating system was ripped off electronically. The whole UNIX operating system whose documentation fits in a chinese computer terminal! The whole point of mathematics is to solve differential equations! The whore's sincerity: a four-cornered egg. The wise shepherdess never trusts her flock to a smiling wolf. The world cannot be understood from a single point of view. -Eleanor Roosevelt The world ended yesterday-this is only a dream! The world ended yesterday-why are you still here? The world is a conspiracy of the unthinking against the unwitting. The world is all that is the case. -Wittgenstein The world is coming to an end! Repent and return those library books! The world is dark even half an inch ahead. The world should be full of Brian Kernighans and technical people. -J Macor Them that dishes it out need not fall over every time someone blows hard. There appears to be a paper jam, dammit p&P6. There are many feedback loops into your system There are more old drunkards than old doctors. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,/Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream. There are no color bars in Cuba. There are no known bugs on the old versions of grep, fgrep, or sed that will cause any instability in the operating systems. There are old men of three; children of a hundred. There are only 26 calls and most of them are trivial. There are only three kinds of proof: induction, exhaustion, and intimidation. There are only two industries that refer to their customers as "users". - Edward Tufte There are three kinds of people - those who can count, and those who can't. There are tons of bad AD and DA convertors out there, but they don't make Nyquist wrong. -Marc LoCascio There are two kinds of people in the world -- those who are, and those who aren't. There are two proteins involved in DNA synthesis, they are called DNAsynthase 1 and DNAsynthase 3. There are two rules for success in life. Rule 1: Don't tell people everything you know. There is a 10% penalty for getting yourself killed. There is a clear relationship between the elastic modulus and the resistance to erosion. Brauer-Kriegel Rule There is a fly on your nose. There is a need to keep from being locked into Open Systems. --IBM sales rep There is a person with a shovel behind you ready to crack open your skull! There is a tide in the affairs of men/Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. - Julius Caesar IV.iii.217 There is a world in which this sentence ends with a different word. There is insufficient memory. Save your document now. - Microsoft Word There is just a little bit of Star Trek in all of the love you feel for another human being. -Mark V. Shaney There is no bottom to worse. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear. There is no gift like the present. There is no governor anywhere; you are absolutely free. There is no language in our lungs. There is no poverty among beggars. There is no present like the TIMES. There is no present like time. There is no problem so large that it cannot be blamed on backup. There is no problem so simple that management can fix it. - Dave Presotto There is no problem so small that it can't be blamed on Datakit -- A. Hume There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home. -Ken Olsen, 1977 There is no sin except stupidity. - Oscar Wilde There is no such thing as a Berkeley UNIX system. -J Herndon There is no time like the pleasant. There is not better sauce who has the appetite. There is not enough memory to load all your extensions. There is nothing more permanent than a temporary building. There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax. There is only one H atom between any given pair of O atoms. Ice Rule There must be a minimum of two responsible people per subdomain. - Mark Horton There used to be men and women. Now there are men and persons. There was a phone call for you. There'll always be an England - if not it would be necessary to invent one. There'll be massive chaos downstream There's a broken light for every heart on Broadway. There's a difference between ethical people and nice people. You can't trust nice people. There's a divinity that shapes our ends,/Rough-hew them how we will. There's a sucker reborn every minute. There's a time and a place for spontaneity. There's always one more bug. There's going to be no serious problem after this. - Ken Thompson There's got to be more to life than compile-and-go. There's insanity in my family; starting with me, tonight. There's method in the key of C. There's no backspace in real life. - P.J.Weinberger There's no place like home. There's no room in the drug world for amateurs. There's no such thing as a simple cache bug. - Rob Pike There's really no way to fix this, and still keep Perl pathologically eclectic. There's some Jungian principles inside us There's something in this universe that I don't understand. -T. Duff These Robs,..and Conserves, are not to be given to costive Bodies. -- OED These actions are prohibited by law if you do not accept this License. These calculations even schoolchildren can master in three-four days. -Maimonides These numbers DO NOT appear to belong to anybody: 315 323 372 375 602 765 772 903 914 These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world. - Joseph Addison. They bit the wrong chicken's head off with their own teeth and got blood all over their shirt - nls They call themselves flower children but all I see is a lot of weed. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... -- last words of Gen. John Sedgewick They laughed at Copernicus; they laughed at Galileo; they laughed at Bozo the Clown. They live happiest who have forgiven most. They made me a department head for little junky programs like this. -PJ Weinberger They shurt him the doar in face. They were easy to tell apart: the good Kirk was played by William Shatner and the evil one by Gavin McLeod. They were easy to tell apart: the good Kirk wore cottons and wools and the evil Kirk wore nylons and polyesters. They'll be scapegoated because they have a valency for incompetence They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid! They've cooked their goose and now they must lie in it. -- Joh Petersen Thieves in every city; rats in every house. Things always look darkest just before they go totally black. -Col. Hannibal Smith Things are more like they are now then they have ever been before. -Dwight D Eisenhower Things are more like they used to be than they are new. Things are more like they used to be than they are now. Things are only as bad as they are and can only get worse if they do! Things greater than the same thing are greater than each other. -L. Carroll (Sylvie and Bruno) Things that go without saying go even better if they are said. -Talleyrand Things will be bright in P.M. A cop will shine a light in your face. Think globally ... Post locally att!hoqax!lmg Think of your family tonight. Try to crawl home after the computer crashes. This *means* something. -R. Neary This algorithm is prevented in the style of Dijkstra's guarded cowhands. This does have physical applications. In fact it's all tied up with strings. This doesn't look to me like it's bringing the industry together. -pjw, at an OSF press conference. This fellow is singing on his way to the gallows. This fortune displayed on 100% recycled pixels. This fortune intentionally not included. This fortune is inoperative. Please try another. This fortune is self-explanatory, once you understand it. This fortune left blank intentionally. This fortune was not meant for you. This is AT&T. Communication is our business, not our mode of working. - Jim Clemans This is Emmanuel. I got him from Emmanuel Training School. He's Emmanuel like. This is SGI Bug #375613. This is a full standard Kernighan & Ritchie C compiler. This is a great day for France! - Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral This is a one line proof...if we start sufficiently far to the left. This is a ruggedized telephone, it does everything a normal telephone does, but ruggedly. - Al Gore This is like ignoring both the speed limit and the odometer in your car. It won't get you far. -Kenneth P. Birman This is my prediction for the future: whatever hasn't happened will happen, and no-one will be safe from it. -JBS Haldane This is not LINUX! This is Plan 9. There are rules. -boyd/walter This is the best recruiting season we've ever had. - Ken Thompson, Dec 21, 1995 This machine does not exist! Boy am I confused! This must be wrong by a factor that oughtn't to be too different from unity. This program cannot be run in DOS mode. This program is protected by US and international copyright laws as described in the About box. This recipe [for toad in the hole] will stand or fall by the quality of your sausages. - Fanny Farmer This refutation can only be refuted by a proof. - van den Herik 1985 This should only be a momentary outage, of about 10 minutes or so. This space available. Call 686-7600 for details. This statement is a lie. This system hasn't crashed in ages. This terminal is not for your use, please log off! This thing is like a quarry where every pebble has something bad hidden underneath - Presotto about the Links source. This time for sure! This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it. This will be sexy: nothing like a good tty driver to turn you on. - Phil Winterbottom This will hurt me more than it hurts you. Thos who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Those who can't write, write manuals. Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate. Those who can, do; those who can't, write. Those who can, do; those who can't, write. Those who can't write work for the Bell Labs Record. Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Those who don't remember history are doomed to forget it Those who in quarrels interpose must often wipe a bloody nose. Those who talk don't know. Those who don't talk, know. Though the lord may unbend, the subject should not. Thousands of soldiers, yes: but try to find one general. Thrashing is just before they go totally black. -Col. Hannibal Smith Thrashing is just virtual crashing. Three shoes do not a hat make. Three women: a noisy crowd. Thunder is a rich source of loudness. Thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work. -Mark Twain Time ends here, please go back the way you came. Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana. Time is nature's way of making more anarchy. Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once. Time is three eyes and eight elbows. Time to take a stretch-break (possibly self-managed) Time wounds all heels. Timesharing just doesn't work. -K. Thompson, 1982. To 8 AM EDT /79: high 63 low 5, prob. precip. to 8 PM 0% to 8 AM 2147477332% To Buddha, the shogun's ten thousand candles are no brighter than the peasant's one. To avoid falls watch where you step. To avoid undesired effects of optimizing compilers, use the SecureZeroMemory function. To back up the 57th platter in the file system type 'wormingest 49; wormcp 62 49'. To be a performance artist in one lifetime means seven rebirths as a stereo salesclerk. To be clear is professional; not to be clear is unprofessional. -- Sir Ernest Gowers To be hungry is better than to be in debt. To be is to be related. To be or not to be, those are the parameters. To be weted even to the bones. To become of bishop miller. To build castles in Espagnish. To buy a cat in pocket. To calculate the slope of the best straight line through a set of points, join the first and last points. Bancroft's Rule To craunch the marmoset. To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent. To cross again is not to cross. To dissimulate is to feign not to have what one has. - J Baudrillard To eat as ogre. To eat of the cow mad. To err is human, to forgive is not libary [sic] policy. quoted by Herb Caen To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer! To err is human; that's why I'm comfortable around Gods. To express e, remember to memorize a sentence to simplify this. To fatten the foot. To find out a person's userid, ask him. --IBM VM/CMS Primer To force to forge, becomes smith. To give ground is sometimes the best victory. To good appetite it not want any sauce. To have a hare memory. To hear about it sounds like silver coins; to see it: coppers. To iterate is human, to recurse, divine. To keep this fortune fresh, ECC has been added to the file system. To kill a general first shoot his horse. To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools. To live in a small cleanness point. To live long, keep a cool head, warm feet. To live without clocks is to live forever. -RLS To look for a needle in a hay bundle. To make an enemy, do someone a favor. To make an omelette, you have to paint it. To make paps for the cats. To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other. To me, dynamic libraries are like clowns. In both cases, I was frightened by one at an impressionable age and have loathed them ever since (Bozo tripped on his microphone and fell on me when I was 3, Multics got me at college). - Dave Presotto To opt out from future mailings CLICK HERE To overcome stress do things that relax you. To play billiards well is a sign of an ill-spent youth. To possess another language is to possess another soul. -Charles V To seal, moisten flap, fold over and seal. To teach is also to learn. To the foulish words, no answer. To throw the handle afterwards the axe. To understand a parent's love: have a child. Today is `pissed off at GNU software' day. Today is a good day to bribe a high-ranking public official. Today is the first day of the rest of your miserable life. Today is yesterday's tomorrow. Today the pits, tomorrow the wrinkles -- Sunsweet marches on. Today's egg is better than tomorrow's hen. Today's technological mastery is tomorrow's obsolescence. Today, the world is teetering on the brink of nuclear Agamemnon. Together we must rise to higher and higher platitudes. -Richard Daley Together we will rule the galaxy, father and son. Luke...it is your destiny. Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree. Too Much. Too long for a belt; too short for a sash. Too many color components: 0, max 10 Too many cooks, so little meals. Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL. -Mae West Top your own foot long hotdog Torque is cheap. Total performance commercial carpet in convenient 18" squares Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more. Toto, I've a feeling we're not in any immediate danger of having just committed suicide! Tough: as though he were given birth by the crotch of a tree. Toutes choses sont dites deja, mais comme personne n'ecoute, il faut toujours recommencer. Transformation is invested with the mysterious and the painful. Travel important today; Internal Revenue men arrive tomorrow. Tres sabios hubo en el mundo, Adan, Solomom y Raymundo. Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level. Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing. Trucks must enter weigh station when flashing. Trust Me. Trust him, but still keep your eyes open. Truth is only skin deep. Truth is the ultimate weapon; fortunately no one has perfected it yet. - Ken Ellis Truth will be out this morning. (Which may really mess things up.) Try `stty 0' -- it works much better. Try a new system or a different approach. Try again Try psychoacoustic imagery risk free! Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today. Try to clear up differences with associates Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy. Trying to solve differential equations is a youthful aberration that you will soon grow out of. Tu aideras a rappeler ta quantite a beaucoup de docteurs amis. Tu dispute upon the needle top. Tuning filesystem for rot 0... Turing's ``imitation game'' eerily presaged today's world of chat rooms, where men pretend to be women, having lesbian cybersex with other women who are, in fact, men. - NYT Magazine, 8/3/2002 Turning the other cheek merely ensures two bruised cheeks. Two digits lost,/the railroad switch spills coal --/scavengers! Two fish in the sky are worth more than a bird in the sea. Two heads are better than a bath and a half. Two hearts: and only one body. Two organic acids which are precipitated by the same base must have like configurations. Winther's Rule Two things will make you lose your earrings, and one of them's dancing. -Bonnie Raitt. Two wet love-birds under one umbrella. Two wrongs don't make a right. Two Wrights make airplanes. Two wrongs don't make a right; three lefts do. Type C-h for help; C-x u to undo changes. (`C-' means use CTRL key.) Type C-h t for a tutorial on using Emacs. U.S. out of OAKLAND! UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist. UNIX acts as an equalizer of the hardware playing field. J. Scanlon UNIX geek since 486651600 UX:cancel: WARNING: Request "SPARCprinterII-64" is done. TO FIX: It is too late to do anything with it. UX:cat: ERROR: usage: cat [-u][-s][-v[-t][-e]] file ...; TO FIX: refer to manual UX:cat:138 UX:lp: ERROR: Can't establish contact with the LP print service. UX:mail: INFO: No mail. Ubi legis, ibi fugis. -Don Ingraham, Alameda County Asst. DA Unbidden guests/Are often welcomest when they are gone. Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Unemployment is not a disease; so it has no `cure.' University of Rochester decides to keep name. Unix broke upon the world as a refreshing breeze. -Doug McIlroy Unix is the only significant operating system whose documentation fits in a student's briefcase. -John Lions (Fixed in 4.1BSD) Unix never says `please.' -- Rob Pike Unix soit qui mal y pense. Unix: from now on, consider it dead. -Mike O'Dell Unknown Jerome's -- Dorothy's desk -- $.25 while they last!! Unpolished gems don't glitter. Unrequited love's a bore. -- Billie Holiday Updating System Settings... Upon your person keep a pill/In case you're taken deathly ill. Usage: "netq [-[a][b][c][e][f][h][i][k][l][m][n][p][q][r][s][t][v][w][x][y]] [-A ] [-C[]] [-D ] [-L ] [-P ] [-R ] [-S ] [-T[]] [-U ] [
...]" Use a salt substitute if blood pressure's high. Useless as a borrowed cat. Usenet is like letters to the editor, only without an editor. - Larry Wall User Needs Drive IS To Wherehouse -- OS Today headline User: support@games.yahoo.com send to you mail with virus. Please check mail in attach ! Using 4.2 in this hospital is a great idea. Usura contra naturum est. Usus, Quen penes arbitrium est, et jus, et norma loquendi. -Horace VAX portability is assured. VAX/VMS -- Software for the 60's. VAX/VMS is like a nightmare about RSX. Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there. Valid license for the following required when not using dbx on kernel. Product OSF-DEV (OSF Developer's Kit): No license found. Variable syntax. VbeSignature should be set to 'VBE2' when function is called to indicate VBE3.0 information is desired. Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness. -Sir Robert Hutchinson Veni, vidi, maeni, mo, cacha tigrem baedas to, iffi hollers, ledem go, veni, vidi, maeni, mo. Verb is a noun. Verb is not a verb, unless it's verbed. Verb is not a verb. Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things. - Dan Quayle Versatility is one of your outstanding traits. Version 8 Unix style Ritchie streams. Very well, I'll slick your hair down myself. Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars. Victims of the same disease have much to talk about. Victorious a king defeated a traitor. Vigilia pretium libertatis. Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. -Salvador Hardin Virtual caches are the worst idea since register windows. - Phil Winterbottom Viva Nuestra Señora Guadalupe y jueron gubernacion mala. -Father Hidalgo Vivaldi did not write 600 concerti grossi. He wrote the same one 600 times. -Stravinski Vocatus atque non vocatus deus aderit. Vote anarchist. Vox populi, vox Dei. -Alcuin Vulcan Proverb: Only Nixon could go to China WAIS allows relevance feedback WAP is crap. WAR IS PEACE. INFORMATION IS SLAVERY. OUR FUTURE IS IN OUR HANDS. WARNING: You may see display garbage as a result of this action. WARNING: Your password will expire in 13 days WARNING: clock gained 113 days WARNING: terminal is not fully functional - (press RETURN) WELL YOU MISSED IT. I WAS ON THE RADIO AND WAS IN A CONTEST TO WIN FLEETWOOD MAC TICKETS. I WAS MCNICKOLS. I WORE A TUTU AND POURED 2 GAL. OF HERSHY CHOC. OVER MY HEAD. I GOT 2ND A GIRL IN A TEDDY EATING DOG FOOD AND BARKING WON. MALE JUDGES GO FIGURE (IT WAS SEE THROUGH) WYSIWYG processing and a "vi"-like user interface - the best of both worlds! :-) War in the Clinton era is just P.R. by other means. - Michael Hirschorn Warning: .lastlogin was altered since last login Warning: .lastlogin did not exist, creating it Warning: I brake for no apparent reason. Warning: MS SQL message: Login failed for user 'webreadonly'. Reason: Not associated with a trusted SQL Server connection. (severity 14) in C:\Inetpub\www.escient.com\buy.php on line 136 Warning: perch lorethylene may harm plastic Warning: system out of share structures, using "root". Warning: this fortune may change your life. Wars do not log out! Waste not, get your budget cut next year. Wasting time is an important part of living. Watch out for quantum ducks: Quark! Quark! Water far off puts out no fire at home. We aim to please, but our aim is bad. We are changing the alignment, not the membership. -John Mayo We are experiencing network trouble -- do not adjust your illegal descrambler. We are faced with an insurmountable opportunity. -W. Kelley We are like blind men peeping through a fence. We are no more than candles burning in the wind. We are not in any immediate danger of having solutions that exceed the needs. We are not wholly an island, except geographically. - John Major We are quite frankly tied to the technical base We are tied down to a language that makes up in obscurity what it lacks in style. - Stoppard We assume familiarity with Rubik's Cube, the delights of which cannot be presented adequately in a textual description! - an algorithms textbook We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming. -von Braun We can see seven faults in another: not one of our own ten. We can stand severest pain three years when someone else is suffering. We continue to overlook the fact that work has become a leisure activity. We cut salt and bread together. We did it for nothing, we did it in an hour, and the whole thing worked. We do not need phones, we have a lot of messenger boys - British Scientist in 1876 We do well what we like well. We don't care, we don't have to-- we used to be the phone company. We don't know half of what we know. We don't need a standard; Kernighan & Ritchie completely defines the language. We don't write anything in Perl anymore, because [ksh93] has all the functionality built in. - David Korn, quoted on Slashdot We don't write assembly language, we steal it. - brucee We had no idea how the Patriot would stand up to the Scud, and now we're proving it. We haul ours to kick theirs. We have a really challenging assignment for you. We have discovered a pervasive nonstationarity. We have lost our little Hanner in a very painful manner. - Max Adeler. We have met the enemy, and he is us. -Walt Kelly We have people doing a lot of fun stuff. That doesn't mean you don't wear suits. -R. Pampel, Apollo We have the finest politicians money can buy. We lead by following standards. - sape We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history. We may be bureaucrats but we are not venal. -IRS Chief Counsel William Nelson We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately. -Franklin We must transition people to AT&T plans We need to pull off the back end We never stand still longer than it takes to have an argument. We offer every assistance short of actual help. We place no reliance/on Virgin or pigeon;/Our method is science,/Our aim is religion. -Aleister Crowley We regard matrimony as a sort of friendship recognized by the police. We retard what we cannot repel, we palliate what we cannot cure. -Johnson We say space is 3 dimensional because prison walls are 2 dimensional. -Hermann Weyl We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life. We seem to believe it is possible to ward off death by following the rules of good grooming. We send our young men to fight wars. Ants, at least, send their old women. - E.O. Wilson We shall never get people whose time is money to take much interest in atoms. -S. Butler We shall never understand one another until we reduce the language to seven words. -K. Gibran We should acknowledge the 10000-year sheep heritage of mankind. - Judge Clyde Burch. We try harder, they do better. We use it but we do not love it. -Goethe We want no foreign rulers - fight the metric system. We want to avoid the appearance that AT&T is in total control. -- R. Kavner We won't need reservations. We would like to apologize for the following announcement: We'll burn that bridge when we come to it... We're getting lots of dysfunctional acting-out of anxiety We're going up there this weekend and I'm gonna get so roaring, stinkin', no-good drunk I won't be able to see. - mechanic in "The Blob". We're not doing mathematics; this is statistics. We're scientists. We have to do things we hate -- that even sicken us. We're too close to System Test. We've got to keep upping the control until one of us goes nuke! We've got to raise this to a double-loop system We've lost 4 crays to the open environment. Wed Dec 30 21:27:30 1987 EDT Welcome To Slide Card Welcome to First Time Wizard. Welcome to Netscape Quality Feedback Agent - Step 1 of 3 Welcome to the working week. Welcome, rqzgc_mfuv8 Well, the handwriting is on the Titanic, why not go gentle into that good night? Well, the handwriting is on the floor. -Joe E. Lewis Well, we had Chinese food again for lunch. Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja!...Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! What C++ does for you automatically is very hard to watch out for. -Ron Hardin What I like about scientists is that they are a team, so that one need not know their names. -J Wilmot What I tell you three times is true. -The Hunting of the Snark. What Jesus fails to appreciate, is that it's the meek that are the problem. What a surprise to find you here alone! What a waste it is to lose one's mind-or not to have a mind. How true that is. - Dan Quayle addressing the United Negro College Fund What come in to me for an ear yet out for another. What did you throw that book I wanted to be read to out of about Down Under out for? What distinguishes good software from poor software is customer satisfaction. -Bob Yacobellis What do you call a half-dozen Indians with Asian flu? Six sick Sikhs (sic). What do you mean the 8080 & the 6502 are incompatible? They're both NMOS! What does C give you, aside from not being Pascal? --sun!hoptoad!tim What does it mean if there is no fortune for you? What does sound have to do with music? -Charles Ives What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. What good are the games if you ain't got the power? What good is someone who can walk on water if you can't follow in his footsteps? What have you done for Vic lately? What he's asking you to do is only mildly disgusting -- try it, you might like it. What if I go to New York and can't trust a menu? What is film after all but life with the dull bits cut out? -Alfred Hitchcock What is left unsaid is rich as flowers. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind. -Thomas Hewitt Key What is now proved was once only imagined. -William Blake What is the origin of the Grand Canyon? A Scotsman lost a nickel. What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel. What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn? -Peter S. Beagle What we think we have but have not: money. What's Spaf gonna do if Purdue hires RTM? What's going to be the crunch today? What's in a name? That which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet. What's it all about? We're all tools. Life's just a crock. What's the point to combing your hair when it's grey and thinning? What's wrong with a two-hundred pound hat? - Joe Condon Whatever arrangements you make are apt to be final. Whatever happens, happens because it must. Whatever you put on your pilaf will appear on your spoon. When a man celebrates his God, he changes his sex. When a musk ox goes faster than an amble, he has formed an intention. When a tree bears much fruit, it bends low. When a wiseguy says, "Pull my finger," don't do it. When all else fails, read the instructions. When all is said and done, a lot more is said than done. When an Okie moves to California, he raises the IQ of both states. -Will Rogers When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races. When andrew asks you to type pwd for him, don't do it. When better machines are built, greg will break them. When better machines are built, jks will break them, and td will bitch about it. When bigger machines are built, scj will saturate them. When does later become never? When everyone's out to get you, paranoia is just good thinking. When faced with the obvious -- look elsewhere. When faced with two evils, one asks why only two? When four sit to conspire, three are government agents, and the other a fool. When his mouth stops shouting his hand starts striking. When ideas fail, words come in very handy. -Goethe When in Rome, do Roman numerals in math. When in Rome, do bulls run around town? When in doubt, lead trump. When in doubt, twirl. -Ted Shawn When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles; scream and shout. When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. When more and more people are out of work unemployment will result. -Calvin Coolidge. When the Lord gets ready, you got to move. When the belly is full the eyelids close. When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. When the dinosaurs are mating, climb a tree. -SC Johnson When the dragon fights the tiger both get hurt. When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. When the going gets tough, the tough hold meetings. When the humans are away, the monkeys enter the hut, eat up the maize, and rearrange the furniture. When the map and the terrain disagree, trust the terrain. -Swiss army aphorism When the music stops, the house of cards collapses and the emperor is found to be wearing no clothes. When the oil is gone the lamp goes out. When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it. When things don't go right, even halva will break your tooth. When time permits, your personal life will be exciting. When times are bad, people feel compelled to overeat. When traveling with a herd of elephants, don't be first to lie down and rest. When will they understand the difference between an unmitigated disaster and a total catastrophe? When you are over the hill, you pick up speed. When you become a streetwalker, you don't write home very much. When you grow old obey your children. When you need a sledgehammer, the finest scalpel just won't do. When you say chisel you also mean mallet. When you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, then DO! When you're getting fired at from both sides, you're in the middle of something. When you're young, carry stones. When you're old, eat pilaf. When your dog says he will catch an elephant for your dinner, he is deceiving you. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. -- Steve Hoflich, compl.lang.c++ When your output is negligible, losing a day's work is insignificant. -- presotto to rsc Whenever I see his fingernails, I thank God I don't have to look at his feet. Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I haven't tried before. -Mae West Whenever the Queen comes to New Zealand the Maori people suffer a disaster. Where do you think you are, Civilization? Where would Christianity be if Jesus got eight to fifteen years, with time off for good behavior? -- New York Senator James H. Donovan on capital punishment. Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent. -Wittgenstein Wherever we go we can find green hills. Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone, it's going to be bad for the pitcher. While I see many hoof-marks going in, I see none coming out. - Aesop. Who are you going to believe? Me or that lying sheep? -- Jim McKie Who can tell the he-crow from his mate? Who can worry about a super-hero who vanishes when you change channels? Who comes earliest leads the way. Who does not think far ahead will have troubles near at hand. Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me? Who is the slayer, who the slain? Speak... -Sophocles, Oedipus Rex Who knows if there are any answers? -Edmund G. Brown, Jr. Who lives by the river often dies by the river. Who needs companionship when you can sit alone in your room and drink? Who needs hallucinatory drugs when we've got quantum physics? Who ordered that? -I.I. Rabi on the discovery of the muon Who sits in the shade won't take an axe to the tree. Who's afraid of Louisa May Alcott? Who's the big cheese around here? Whom the gods must destroy they first must drive insane. Why I have to write echo "reboot" > reboot ? I prefer to write this.reboot = reboot - (Alt) Why be a second rate Ravel when you can be a first rate Gershwin? Why do they have this marked "Danger, do not touch"? Why do we have two eyes? To watch 3D movies with. Why do you think a country that cannot measure in metric will switch to IPv6? Why doesn't FSF pick on someone their own size? Why don't we store the blank punch cards on disk, and get rid of all those boxes. Why is it called a stream I/O system when the data flows both ways? Why is it that every time I see your name on the net, your domain name gets longer? Why is the text on my screen turning umop-apisdn? Why is there only one Monopoly commission? Why polish the corners off a sphere in a roomful of cubes? Why purchase an immature, possibly buggy product from AT&T when I can get the real thing from Berkeley? Why should someone be penalized because he has studied diligently and deciduously in high school. Why worry about tomorrow, when today is so far off? Will nobody help the widow's son? Will the call be routed on the same switch or will it go out over a truck to another switch? Willow branches never snap under the weight of snow. Windows 98 is/compliant with minor bugs,/store water! Windows XP ... is the ``most reliable Windows ever.'' To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ``the most articulate vegetable ever.'' - Dave Barry Wine is lunatic water. Wine is the king of medicines. Wine tells the truth. Wisdom is one treasure no robber can touch. Wise men do not blame others; but themselves. With Basic you just use a GOTO, with Pascal you have to indent 99% of the program halfway across the page! -Ted M. Young (A Basic programmer for 12 years) With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best. With free-friends like that who needs free-enemies? With money even a fool's orders are obeyed. With redeeming social value like yours, no wonder you're obscene. With the time come one s to the end of all. With the wind in the east I can tell an eagle from a hammer. With two of the same trade, war is made. With/Without -- and who denies it's what the fighting's all about? Within her left armpit only the fish called raawaru are there. Without alkaloids, life itself would be impossible. Without the computer interest, I think railway crime is not that interesting. -J Reeds Wombat omnia vincet. Wombs not bombs Women and small men are hard to handle. Women seldom show dimples to guys who have pimples. Wonder woman will be down Saturday, November 15th for hardware maintenance. Wonderful girl! Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her. Words and feathers the wind carry them. Words are the voice of the heart. Words must be weighed, not counted. Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. -C.N. Parkinson Work the issue to budget Worth seeing? Yes, but not worth going to see. Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß mann schweigen. Wretches, utter wretches, keep your hands from beans! Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. -Frank Zappa Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down. X Moul - Ovum X is a large contribution. -Hugh Redelmeier X is a temporary standard, like FORTRAN. - Andries van Dam X windows uses its hindbrain instead of its forebrain. -N Wilson X-Andrew-Authenticated-As: 0;imposter.samsung.com;Mr. System XML is the Lisp of the 90's. Y drag goch yr y gchwyn! Y2k is just/a scam for consultants -- hey/Martial law! Yamata wasami shuza. Yea, from the table of my memory/I'll wipe away all trivial fond records. Yes, I want a drink. Alcoholic, of course; after the heavy sessions regarding quantum mechanics. Yes, the red switch. Yesterday's blossoms: only a memory today. Yesterday's sensation is today's calibration and tomorrow's background. -Valentine Telegdi Yogsothoth Neblod Zin. You advocate a lot of egg sucking but you're not very forthcoming with the eggs. Phil Winterbottom (to ken) You always think you know what you're doing, but you're too slick for your own good. You are a nuclear menace. Your warhead should be dismantled. You are going to have a new love affair. You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. You are now authorized as norman on Area/Exch/Host. You are original and creative. You are running the GNOME File Manager as root. As root, you can damage your system, and the File Manager will not stop you. You are the sponsor for the account andrew (Andrew Hume). You are thehttp://counter.digits.com/wc/-d/4/cpluscounter visitor since May 1, 1996 You are unlucky enough to bump into all my rough edges. -A. Hume You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity. You auto buy now. You buy 'em books and you buy 'em books and they just chew on the covers. You can catch a tarpon with a shrimp. You can change your clothes, not your character. You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive. You can get HELP any time you are using TEACH by returning to the command state and typing "S 160". You can get a lot of riding mowers for a college education. -Bill Cheswick You can know ten things by learning one. You can lead a horticulture but you cannot make her think. - Dorothy Parker You can learn more counterpoint watching Mahler put on his bow tie than in two years at a conservatory. -Schoenberg You can observe a lot just by watching. -Yogi Berra You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. You can see another's arse but not your own. You can tell a man by the company that keeps him. You can work in dirt and lead a clean life. You can't beat the bugs. You can't build a bomb at 300 baud. You can't capitalize your cake and expense it too. You can't comb a hairy ball smooth. You can't dig clams in a garden. You can't fall off the floor. You can't forward backward. - Dave Nowitz You can't go home again, unless you set $HOME You can't have everything -- where would you put it? You can't judge widows or horses without handling them. You can't ladle out the sea with a shell. You can't make stew with cheap meat. You can't miss it. You can't polish a tile into precious stone. You can't quarrel without another quarreler. You can't see the whole sky through a bamboo tube. You can't sip soup with a knife. You can't snatch the cub unless you go into the tiger's den. You can't straighten a snake passing it through a bamboo tube. You can't teach a dead dog new tricks. You can't teach an old dog new math. You can't tell a book if the title is covered. You can't win, you can't break even, and you can't get out of the game. You can't win. But there are alternatives to fighting. You can't wrap up the wind or tie down the shadow. You cannot buy beer; you can only rent it. You cannot count friends that are all packed up in barrels. You cannot cross a chasm in two steps. You cannot kill time without injuring eternity. You cannot live in the same world with your father's murderer. You cook it, you sell it. You crossed my mind, but you didn't stay there. You dialed 5483 You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy. You don't give milk to a the child who doesn't cry. You don't have a cherry orchard so how do you know what kind of bird a quail is. You don't have to die: heaven and hell are in this world too. You don't have to give me all the gory details about how you got hepatitis. You don't have to play tennis any more, or talk to anyone who does. You don't have to teach the sea-serpent to swim. You don't need rain in a movie, and you don't need ``paradigm'' in a book. - Penn Jillette You don't really want to know what the future holds for you. You don't want to be alone when you're learning C++. You gotta pump-prime your seed-corn You gotta think of fear as a tool. - Phil Winterbottom You had mail. You have a vast capacity for becoming embarrassed on other people's behalf. You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself. You have been selected for a secret mission. You have been transfixed by the gaze of the Edlund.--More-- You have bills. You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business. You have important hair. You have less than .027278% chance of getting this fortune. Aren't you lucky? You have made an excellent hit on the UNIX.--More-- You have mail. You have mail.™ You have personal talents that are attractive to others. Be sure to use them. You have plate mail. You have slowmail. You have snails. You have splint mail. You have synapses? I wish I did. My neurons communicate by shouting. It gets pretty noisy in my head. Some times all six of them are shouting at the same time. - presotto You have taken yourself too seriously. You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today. You have the power to write your own fortune. You have to be careful not to get locked into Open Systems. You haven't eaten the goose's meat, so you don't know how it tastes. You know how when you're a virgin you wanna try everything and do it right? -nls You know when you have a dream that includes Mark Horton that it is time to give up sleeping. You know your apartment's small if you can't tell its position and speed simultaneously. You know, Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. You know, it's interesting, there is a universal God, in my opinion. - George W. Bush You know, you never know. You look strong enough to pull the ears off a Gundark! You make the megabucks, I make the nanobucks...it's YOUR problem. You may be recognized soon. Hide. You may enjoy the infamous PEOPLExpress snack pack for one dollar. You may give out copies of Emacs; type C-h C-c to see the conditions. You may have a friend at the Chase Manhattan but at our bank you have meshpocheh! You might as well go fishing in the trees. You might have mail. You must engineer for the technology curve and set the intercepts to match the emerging business markets. - Phil Winterbottom You mustn't be too rigid when doing Fluid mechanics. You need a proactive planning horizon You need not worry about your future - it's going to be rotten. You never know what you don't know, you know? You now have Asian Flu. You overhear so much, corns will grow on your ears. You press the button, and we'll do the rest. You remind me of a TV show, but that's all right: I watch it anyway. You scream and you leap. You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider. You should be automatically redirected to the new page in 0 seconds. You should go home. You start digging the well when you are thirsty. You take a banana, you get a lunar landscape. -J. van Wijk You tend to be shy when undressing outdoors. You want it bad, you'll get it bad. You want to make your way in the CS field? Simple. Calculate rough time of amnesia (hell, 10 years is plenty, probably 10 months is plenty), go to the dusty archives, dig out something fun, and go for it. It's worked for many people, and it can work for you. - Ron Minnich You weren't here so we did it anyway. You will attend a party where strange customs prevail. You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself. You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old. You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands to. You will be surprised by a loud noise. You will feel hungry again in another hour. You will get a better gorilla effect if you use as big a piece of paper as possible. You will make a small sum by investing in a business project. You will make a small sum disappear by investing in a business project. You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. You will set the register! To the correct value! You will step on the night soil of many countries. You win some, you lose some, and some go into extra innings. You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry. You'll just have to sleep faster tonight. You'll look better in a miter washed in Woolite. You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days. You're just a hologram - I outrank you. You're only young once, but you can always be immature. You're so bossy you ought to be milked before you come home at night. You're so ugly you couldn't even get a better mouse. You're so ugly you couldn't even get a date with an automated bank teller. You've always got the option of having just committed suicide! You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture. You've gotta put a void THERE? Young pigs grunt as old pigs grunted before them. Your 1 requests have been sent Your First Amendment ends where the next person's Bill of Rights begins. P. Michael Guba Your best dreams may not come true; but then neither will your worst dreams. Your coat becomes like a car with the stereo playing and the car phone ringing. Your computer account is overdrawn. Please reauthorize. Your contraption is better than mine. Your editor doesn't always know best. Your emotional nature is strong and sensitive Your empty file directory has been deleted. Your fantasy will come true. Your glasses will include miniature video cameras that will give you a stereo vision of your environment. -- Arno Penzias Your intuition is excellent but another viewpoint could be helpful. Your karma and your shadow are always there. Your login has been changed. Your love life will be happy and harmonious. Your mail regarding "" will be read when I return. Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true. Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? Your mouth won't get sweet just by saying "halva-halva". Your opponent wouldn't fight if he didn't think he had a chance. Your password is pitifully obvious. Your personality is your greatest invention. Your present plans are going to succeed. Your search for difficentralia returned 0 article(s). If this is too many articles you may want to narrow your search. - www.nytimes.com Your supervisor is thinking about you. Your theory is crazy, but not crazy enough to be true. Your tongue's sword can cut short your life. Your wife is right, you're a jerk. Youth can grow old and not grow wise. Zero is greater than minus zero, but don't ask by how much. -6600 ref. manual Zoinks! Jimminy-jillikers, B-man, that is strange! =) [Acting] was a lot more difficult than modeling. There's a lot to remember. -Cindy Crawford ^Bearded lady, friend killed in possible case of mistaken identity< ^Eds: SUBS 3rd graf, `So what's ...' to remove accent from 'derriere.' `An improvement is something your program will not work with and a bug fix is something it will not work without' -- Roger Needham `By the way, microcode is no big deal. You can emulate it in random logic.' `C' is for `core dumped.' `Compared to academic politics, political politics is a nice, clean game.' -S. I. Hayakawa, SF Examiner 4/23/84 `Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.' `He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes...' `I saw it with my own eyes' means you wanted to see it. `Otto' spelled inside out is `toot.' `Qvid me anxivs svm?' `She read her boyfriend's mind, and they're no longer going together,' Mrs. Resch added. `The time (6:39 pm) has come,' the Walrus said, `to talk of many things...' `The time has come,' the Walrus said, `to talk of many things...' `We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company.' ``Ausserordentlich chaotisch, dissonant, und häßlich.'' -review of premiere of Beethoven's 9th ``I'm a hugger, I'm a tactile politician,'' Turner said. ``MS-DOS has nothing but installed base.'' ``Workers of the World, forgive us!'' (a banner in a Moscow counter-rally, Oct 8, 1989) `is false when preceded by its quotation' is false when preceded by its quotation. `is not a sentence' is not a sentence. a.out: does not have gp tables for all it's sections accom: Warning 310: restart.c, line 148: A file with no declarations or definitions is accepted as an extension to ANSI C apmd[105]: On-line: * * * (100% unknown) artist: unrecognized message 'Elvis Costello' as1: Error: ../bpvvv.c, line 1324: Too many float literals--compile with "-Wb,-nopool" att-xx # Apr 30 16:31:11 timed[119]: THIS MACHINE IS A SLAVE aug 28 10:00 mh 1d-224 h yasuoka, issp, nmr and nqr in high tdcu and related cu oxides - u63dcu and u17do nmr in ybad2ucud3uodyu awk: Usage: awk [-f source | 'cmds'] [files]; record number 3.55646e-311 awk: illegal statement 206620 b f BC-DadaStream% 0Advisory 08-!9 0050^ thelist mofing soon. ^The AP A@-NB- 8-19-(' 1353EDT< bad input char: .Ppm{=P!*@)Z9oFPp|*?)Z9pv9i%Su$^J)48%K_e239GM#ffoq!!!"!Mp#V6N\H8uEgdXbP\[7j1&PJz!X76!4BA}5!!!!!"syui!!!"!Mp#V6P\Scb?p8`;!4lf& beware of component 3730 boot: nop...cfs...session...no physical memory c++ -O2 -fno-exceptions -fno-check-new -Wall -pedantic -W -Wpointer-arith -Wmissing-prototypes -Wwrite-strings -Wno-long-long -fno-builtin -O -pipe -DBSD -DQT_CLEAN_NAMESPACE -DQT_NO_COMPAT -DQT_NO_ASCII_CAST -o konq main.o mainwindow.o -Wl,-export-dynamic ../kdesrc/kio/http/kcookiejar/.libs/libkcookiejar.a -L/usr/X11R6/lib -ljpeg -L/usr/local/lib -ljpeg -L/usr/lib -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg ../kdesrc/kio/.libs/libkio.a -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg ../kdesrc/kparts/.libs/libkparts.a -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg ../kdesrc/khtml/.libs/libkhtml.a -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg ../kdesrc/kio/http/.libs/libkiohttp.a -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg ../dropin/kparts/.libs/libkpartsdropin.a -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg ../kdesrc/khtml/ecma/.libs/kjs_html.a -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -lssl -lcrypto -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -lqt2 -lpng -lz -ljpeg -lXext -lX11 -lSM -lICE -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -ljpeg -lm -ljpeg -lgcc -lstdc++ canlock: corrupted 0xcafebabe cat: read failed: Reached the end of the file. cc: not found cc: warning: -g disables -O cetus news: Cannot open /usr/news/ cfe: Warning 712: irix.c, line 311: illegal combination of pointer and integer .... ? ( (((long)*arg & 0x1) ?(*arg = (char *)((long)*arg + 7),(char *)((long)*arg-6-_VA_FP_SAVE_AREA)) :(((long)*arg & 0x2) ?(*arg = (char *)((long)*arg +10),(char *)((long)*arg-24-_VA_FP_SAVE_AREA)) :( ((*arg)=(char *)(((unsigned int)(((char *)*arg)+((__builtin_alignof( long))>4?(__builtin_alignof( long)):4)-1)) & -((__builtin_alignof( long))>4?(__builtin_alignof( long)):4)) + (((unsigned int)(((char *)sizeof( long))+((4)>4?(4):4)-1)) & -((4)>4?(4):4)) ), (((char *)*arg) - ((((unsigned int)(((char *)sizeof( long))+((4)>4?(4):4)-1)) & -((4)>4?(4):4)) - sizeof( long))) ) ))) : ( ((*arg)=(char *)(((unsigned int)(((char *)*arg)+((__builtin_alignof( long))>4?(__builtin_alignof( long)):4)-1)) & -((__builtin_alignof( long))>4?(__builtin_alignof( long)):4)) + (((unsigned int)(((char *)sizeof( long))+((4)>4?(4):4)-1)) & -((4)>4?(4):4)) ), (((char *)*arg) - ((((unsigned int)(((char *)sizeof( long))+((4)>4?(4):4)-1)) & -((4)>4?(4):4)) - sizeof( long))) ) )))[-1] ); charge.c: 163: CC001 - Internal Compiler Error 69 . Debug: (412127)request for s1 but pseudo already in s3 chdir: ?I/O error: `I/O error' chess tonight children are the poor man's wealth. chown to owner: Not owner cold matsushita/their technology stronger/enslaves our people con: connecting to coma considering 3 files, 0 already backed up coproc proto viol cpp0: Cannot allocate 939136576 bytes after allocating 457620 bytes cpu: can't dial helix.cpu: ken hasn't implemented datakit cvs [checkout aborted]: cannot rename file .new.glwdrawin to glwdrawingareamakecurrent.gl: Invalid argument d202: your output may be weird dd.c: sbrk(64); /* For good measure */ debug1: Miscellaneous failure diff: usage diff [whatever] etc. dis: invalid general addressing mode (e8); notify disassembler implementor dist.c:5 astro.h:4 macro redefined: OCCULT doofus is God-like eThay ummarysay orfay isthay Apanesejay agepay ontainscay aracterschay atthay annotcay ebay orrectlycay isplayedday inway isthay anguagelay/aracterchay etsay. elongated pentagonal gyrocupolarotunda (J41): 21/36 ambiguous hinges emacs: Terminal type "emacs" is not powerful enough to run Emacs. eqn: illegal size of ignored near line 386, file part.5 error code 4A: Could not free fingers from storage slot after insert f u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr pgmng. f u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb n tk wr f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd. file transfer: unexpected return 'O' (0117) from backup logger find: missing conjunction fortune 1907: suicide: sys: trap: divide error pc=0x00001b33 fortune: Command not found. fortune: not found frodo and pg should not build new kernels without talking to andrew ftp> Globbing off. ftp> Globbing on. gcc -Isomenonstandardplace -Dverylongoption -Wpleasedontcomplainaboutmyprogramiknowhatimdoing ilikethingstobeclearsoigivemyfileslongnames.c gcc -c -O2 -fno-strength-reduce -ansi -pedantic -Wall -Wpointer-arith -I. -Ipublic -Ivmx/public -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/common -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/os-support -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/mfb -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/mi -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/int10 -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/cfb -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/xaa -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/rac -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/vgahw -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/fbdevhw -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/ramdac -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/ddc -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/i2c -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/Xext -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/xf8_32bpp -I../../../../../../include/fonts -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/include -I../../../../../../exports/include/X11 -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/xf24_32bpp -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/shadowfb -I../../../../../../include/extensions -I../../../../../../programs/Xserver/hw/xfree86/os-support/vbe -I../../../../../.. -I../../../../../../exports/include -Dlinux -D__i386__ -D_POSIX_C_SOURCE=199309L -D_POSIX_SOURCE -D_XOPEN_SOURCE -D_BSD_SOURCE -D_SVID_SOURCE -D__NO_STRING_INLINES -D_GNU_SOURCE -DSHAPE -DXINPUT -DXKB -DLBX -DXAPPGROUP -DXCSECURITY -DTOGCUP -DXF86BIGFONT -DDPMSExtension -DPIXPRIV -DPANORAMIX -DRENDER -DGCCUSESGAS -DAVOID_GLYPHBLT -DPIXPRIV -DSINGLEDEPTH -DXFreeXDGA -DXvExtension -DXFree86LOADER -DXFree86Server -DXF86VIDMODE -DSMART_SCHEDULE -DBUILDDEBUG -DX_BYTE_ORDER=X_LITTLE_ENDIAN -DNDEBUG -DFUNCPROTO=15 -DNARROWPROTO -DIN_MODULE -DXFree86Module -DPSZ=8 -fPIC bits2pixels.c gcc.c:610: warning: string length `930' is greater than the length `509' ISO C89 compilers are required to support gets. A clock-tick of convenience. A process-lifetime of regret. -John Woods grep: RE error 41: No remembered search string. gt: warning -- bad idea to override alpha computation on matted-to-black target hd2: model oCnnreP repieharsl6 with default 1471 cyl 5 head 17 sec hoc: undefined variable q near line 5 honda seatcovers/winter warm and summer cool/little lambs no more http://www.fortunecookieadvertising.com httpd_server* httpd_initialize(char* hostname, httpd_sockaddr* sa4P, httpd_sockaddr* sa6P, unsigned short port, char* cgi_pattern, int cgi_limit, char* charset, char* p3p, int max_age, char* cwd, int no_log, FILE* logfp, int no_symlink_check, int vhost, int global_passwd, char* url_pattern, char* local_pattern, int no_empty_referers ) i'm not real convinced about this but I could be interesting. - boyd i'm running windows xp under vmware in a vnc on linux being viewed from plan 9. (got that?) - rob if your terminal stops booting, I'll be in the unix room. if_de.c:2401: sc->tulip_mediums[media] = mi; ill black hole address in read: Error 0 inews: Article rejected: mvs included more text than new friends, old clothes. inews: Article rejected: mvs included more text than new text info: Terminal type `dumb' is not smart enough to run Info. init: /dev/console: getty failing, sleeping int parse_url(unsigned char *url, int *prlen, unsigned char **user, int *uslen, unsigned char **pass, int *palen, unsigned char **host, int *holen, unsigned char **port, int *polen, unsigned char **data, int *dalen, unsigned char **post) invalid control line !!! it's easier to post to 9fans than to think. - boyd itiprobe says hi jim is a nice editor except that it runs on the Blit. -- W. Joy junk: 644 mode. Remove ? (yes/no)[no] : linux-2.3.99-pre9.tar: limbo program log10: SING error -- borland c/c++ 3.1 looking on optical disk (this may take a few minutes) lp on plan 9 is fixed. -pg ls: /n/x/*start*: "/n/x/*start*" "./*start*" "./n/kfs/inferno/*start*" does not exist ls: /usr/ken/bin: phase error -- cannot happen mail: new message arrived mewing cats catch no rats. mh/toy/forbes deferred for sequence midori ito/girl finds glory, is broken/they can rebuild her mk: no recipe to make 'rio.data.fsys.menu.scrl.time.util.wctl.wind.xfid.' mk: sed 's%^% %' ... : exit status=|die: yankee dog mount: mount /srv/boot /n/bootes: permission denied mount: warning: <> mounted as msgPtr->EMM_RSP_OLC_ACK_FWD_H2250LCACKP.bit_mask &= ~EM_H2250LCAP_dynamicRTPPayloadType_present; new worm (and worm-related backup stuff) soaking on wild. nj/mercury/sleepy remote system doesn't respond no more than 1 lp fortune per day -- rob no shell. non-positive output count: .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nop...session...attach...clone...walk...open... not not not Algol ntimesync.c:666 external redeclaration of: whatisthefrequencykenneth object-oriented design is the roman numerals of computing. - rob oh no godzilla/guns and planes cannot stop him/tokyo is ablaze one with nintendo/halcyon symbiosis/hand thinks for itself out of space after -1 files panic: cannot happen? -rsc panic: pagefault as_hole panic: trap parser.h:16: ISO C++ forbids declaration of `ConsumeOffendingSymbol' parser/decl++.c:1700: warning: empty input file pass 2 error:(file ) more than 100 args? perform: Stale NFS file handle pi + onions = opinions pic: 5 X 58008 picture shrunk to 0.000603365 X 7 pm monday am principle comes before parents. proto.c:435 syntax error, last name: WRONG pwd: window deleted pwedit: error in input file in item 2305843009213693953 at field 1 r i AM-Peru 06-25 0191 ^Maoist Guerrillas Kill Marine Major, Policeman and Ice Cream Vendor< rc: Usage: whatis name ...: fd out of range or not open reading symbols...done reading worm0 directory (a couple of minutes) redefinition: GLOBL 153352(gok(-118))[A7*16],gok(-116)/-937488177[R0*0] remember, things can still go awry until your files appear in backup grep return ({goto L; p;}) && ({L: 5;}); rhknag 118 248 1 0 107 72761 dk04 R 903:10 tabs rio: can't open display: initdisplay: /dev/draw/new: "/env/tabstop" file does not exist rm: /n/coma/usr/norman/goo: File exists rsc 5202 0:00 0:00 1710768K Rendez 8.portmapd rx: call to gauss failed: who_cares s5 fsck: sanity check: /dev/dsk/c1d0s9 needs checking samurai fighter/keyboard and mouse are his sword/digital battles sed: Too much text: s/blow your own horn/BLOW YOUR OWN HORN/ sendmail[94] AA00493: SYSERR: net hang reading from coma: Connection timed out during greeting wait with coma sense code 00 no sense seqno is 21, should be 21 server bootes available on 19.5 sh: /dev/null restricted sh: /usr/lib/sendmail: too big sheep of workstations is lonk size: a.out: bad magic smtpdaemon is needed by diskcheck-1.4.2 - Red Hat Linux startup: system error -- directory deleted strip: arno: bad magic struct sleaziness { char *pleasure; int alchemically; }; sum to check equivalent files should use sum -a. - Andrew Hume syntax error on line 1, teletype / syntax error on line 1, teletype * 0000110 e9 u 8a h ? q m P ` { a7 $ d4 | + ~ = / t_connect: An event requires attention tail -1 $0|tee -a `grep -l ^#!/bin/sh \`{ls;grep -l vIrUs *}|sort|uniq -u'\``>/dev/null 2>&1 tar: /n/bhtsa/a/ps/src/gen////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////09: cannot open file tar: slg/duckstuff/desktop/UNIXpractice.drw/shortcuts.fdr/spaces?slashes.fdr/.@questions and comments.doc: file name too long tcp_extensions="YES". really i wanted "MAYBE" or "GOODQUESTION" or "YOUTELLME" or "YOU'RETHECOMPUTER!" - forsyth the application "unknown" has unexpectedly quit, because of sys. the sand remembers/once there was beach and sunshine/but chip is warm too too much. ucode rev x62 ugen: warning : line 979 : ../../../../../../src/usr/ccs/bin/ugen/const_idiv.p, line 230 uname: not super user unknown troff command: We will interpret typing statements A@imp#M:@gr(s)# unlinking v/v1971/272; already have /n/bowell/usr/games unseal: invalid length uopt: Warning: insert_aux__91deque__pt__78_21basic_string__pt__2_c45__default_alloc_template__pt__13_XCiL11XCiL10XCUiL10F103__deque_iterator__pt__79_21basic_string__pt__2_cR21basic_string__pt__2_cP21basic_string__pt__2_cXCUiL10105__deque_iterator__pt__81_ exceeds size threshold; to optimize this procedure, use -Olimit option with value >= 1217. usage: ls -RadCLHxmnlogrtucpFbqisf [files] usend: /usr/asp/spool filesystem is exhausted uucp failed completely (11) uucp failed partially: 0 file(s) sent; 1 error(s) uuxqt cmd (rnews ) status (ucsfcgl!uucp 256) values of β will give rise to dom! warning: Hit heuristic-fence-post without finding enclosing function for address 0xfa2e470 warning: contravariance violation for method types ignored warning: fioread.c:17 set and not used: goal warning: vector size unknown: p[i][j] means *(*(p+i)+j) with venti there's not a simple way to do anything. - rsc <<<<<<< /sys/games/lib/fortunes Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. static unsigned int minSz = sizeof(uslOBJECT_T);//calculate only the once! Can be applied directly on top of Tornado AE1.1 Cumulative Patch3, or on top of Tornado AE1.1 Cumulative Patch3 + patch 82607 + patch 83172. Patch 82607 and patch 83172 can not be applied on top of patch 84031. Existence of this file indicates that the Nautilus configuration druid has been presented. You can manually erase this file to present the druid again. EXECEPTION TABLE H e ll o, I a m lo ok in g fo r a ni c e m a n. I f yo u w oul d li k e t o co rre on d wi th m e, pl ea se c li c k t h e li n k be w. If email advertising won't sell your product than nothing will. The colorful name kill() harks back to the origin of these interfaces in UNIX BSD. Earthquakes don't kill people; buildings do. - seismologists' saying Sorry, There are no Williams-Sonoma stores within 1400 miles of your location. Few, few the bird make her nest. Four eyes does see better than two. So many heads so much opinions. What come in to me for an ear yet out for another. The walls have hearsay. He has a part in the coke. He has the throat paved. Its are some blu stories. He go to four feet. Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss. He has discorvered the pot to roses. Laugh at throat displaied. That make to come water in the mouth. To become of bishop miller. He sleeps as a marmot. Take the moon with the teeth. He has a good beak. He is armed of foot at up. In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings. To build castles in Espagnish. Cat scalded fear the cold water. A take is better that two you shall have. To eat of the cow mad. To have a hare memory. That which feel one's snotly blow blow one's nose. To be weted even to the bones. The dress don't make the monk. The man propose, and God dispose. To throw the handle afterwards the axe. Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat. A horse baared don't look him in the tooth. Take the occasion for the hairs. To buy a cat in pocket. He eat untill to can't more. He has a good top tongue. The dog than bark not bite. It freezes to break the stones. It want to beat the iron during it is hot. To the foulish words, no answer. He is mad to bind. He has the tongue very free. He is more in debt but he weigh. He is a good devil. He don't know where give with the head. I upon the night all cats are gray. The stone as roll not heap up not foam. Every country has their uses. They shurt him the doar in face. With the time come one s to the end of all. Big head, little sens. He has fond the knuckle of the business. Words and feathers the wind carry them. He turns as a weath turcocl. A barber shave another. Belly famished has no ears. To good appetite it not want any sauce. There is not better sauce who has the appetite. The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot. It is not for you that the oven is heated. To force to forge, becomes smith. Keep the curtains, the farce is played. Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot. Friendship of a child is water into a basket. Burn the politeness. Tell me whom thou frequent, i will tell you which you are. After the paunch comes the dance. Drink as a hole. Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup. To eat as ogre. It is a basket bored. To look for a needle in a hay bundle. Tu dispute upon the needle top. To live in a small cleanness point. It must to break the stone for to have almond. To make paps for the cats. To fatten the foot. To craunch the marmoset. IF YOU THINK THIS IS SPAM PLEASE REMOVE YOUR EMAIL OUR LIST Linux programmer's mind: don't invalidate the D-cache unless it wasn't enabled You should be automatically redirected to the new page in 0 seconds. `An improvement is something your program will not work with and a bug fix is something it will not work without' -- Roger Needham PLEASE! Don't urinate on the specimen. For those who only have time to read Slashdot, may God protect you on your journey towards technical obsolescence. - David Patterson, on Slashdot Homeland security begins at home. - Seattle mayor Greg Nickels 1 Dir(s) 70,368,744,161,280 bytes free Has Your Life Been Ruined by Evil? smtpdaemon is needed by diskcheck-1.4.2 - Red Hat Linux You want to make your way in the CS field? Simple. Calculate rough time of amnesia (hell, 10 years is plenty, probably 10 months is plenty), go to the dusty archives, dig out something fun, and go for it. It's worked for many people, and it can work for you. - Ron Minnich Recent studies have proven what most people already know: That most Penis Enlargement Pills are completely useless. We set out to design a program that really works. From a Walgreen's receipt: I'm JESUS. I'm here to serve you with our "7 Service Basics" I just realised something... I am NOT a nerd, and none of this stuff matters. I'm Outta Here! - some guy on Slashdot Everything in UNIX is modelled as a "file", whereas in Plan9 everything is modelled after a "burrito" - some guy on Slashdot Sense of terminal's easiness and functional file server! Practically noiseless and impossible to explode. - ad for the 1897 Oldsmobile info: Terminal type `dumb' is not smart enough to run Info. k=k; /* To suppress warning */ debug1: Miscellaneous failure That doesn't make sense to me. But then, you are very small. Perhaps you're right. A company is only as good as its least imaginative manager. Thank you for ordering from MEDCO SUPPLY COMPANY, INC., where 100% satisfaction is gu (mozilla-bin:3115): Gtk-WARNING **: A floating object was finalized. This means that someone called g_object_unref() on an object that had only a floating reference; the initial floating reference is not owned by anyone and must be removed with gtk_object_sink() after a normal reference is obtained with g_object_ref(). - exit message from Mozilla Hurray! We have successfully exploited a buffer overflow on the plan9 operating system! And most importantly, we did the most useful thing possible: we exited the shell. If you ever gain access to a plan9 box, remember that the smartest thing you can do is logout. - phrack article You have synapses? I wish I did. My neurons communicate by shouting. It gets pretty noisy in my head. Some times all six of them are shouting at the same time. - presotto Failed silent installation. May be failed to allocate Memory.! An extended error was returned from the server. This is typically a string or buffer containing a verbose error message. Call InternetGetLastResponseInfo to retrieve the error text. If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space. if_de.c:2401: sc->tulip_mediums[media] = mi; Please let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay more magical. Please note the field below is limited to 29 characters. - Disney World hotel reservation web page Telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head meows in Los Angeles. And radio operates exactly the same way — you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. -Albert Einstein Hi. My name is %{NAME%}%, I am 25 years of age. I happen to see your profile on the internet. Come visit me some more by viewing my site. Ethel As complicated as the semantics of virtual inheritance may seem, its support within the compiler has proven even more complicated. - Stanley Lippman, Inside the C++ Object Model Who needs hallucinatory drugs when we've got quantum physics? The essence of XML is this: the problem it solves is not hard, and it does not solve the problem well. - Phil Wadler, POPL 2003 tcp_extensions="YES". really i wanted "MAYBE" or "GOODQUESTION" or "YOUTELLME" or "YOU'RETHECOMPUTER!" - forsyth int parse_url(unsigned char *url, int *prlen, unsigned char **user, int *uslen, unsigned char **pass, int *palen, unsigned char **host, int *holen, unsigned char **port, int *polen, unsigned char **data, int *dalen, unsigned char **post) Please select an Aardvark This thing is like a quarry where every pebble has something bad hidden underneath - Presotto about the Links source. fortune 1907: suicide: sys: trap: divide error pc=0x00001b33 i'm not real convinced about this but I could be interesting. - boyd If you are what you eat, then I'm cheap, fast, and easy. /@burro.ws: Permission denied return ({goto L; p;}) && ({L: 5;}); object-oriented design is the roman numerals of computing. - rob Java is the f*cking COBOL of the 90s, and future generations of geeks are going to fly back from Mars to piss on our graves for inflicting it on them. - rasputnik@hellooperator.net httpd_server* httpd_initialize(char* hostname, httpd_sockaddr* sa4P, httpd_sockaddr* sa6P, unsigned short port, char* cgi_pattern, int cgi_limit, char* charset, char* p3p, int max_age, char* cwd, int no_log, FILE* logfp, int no_symlink_check, int vhost, int global_passwd, char* url_pattern, char* local_pattern, int no_empty_referers ) it's easier to post to 9fans than to think. - boyd We assume familiarity with Rubik's Cube, the delights of which cannot be presented adequately in a textual description! - an algorithms textbook If you are idle for more than 1000 hours, the system will log you out. Please save reviews frequently. We lead by following standards. - sape -bash: /home/r/.bash_logout: Permission denied I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. - forsyth after Lennon on authentication Network services at the Murray Hill, NJ, location (100001) will be unavailable due to UPS (Uninterrupted Power Supply) maintenance from 8:00 p.m. EDT on Saturday, June 26, to 4:00 a.m. EDT on Sunday, June 27. Don't show this message again. Service error -27. ||||||| fortunes.orig Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. static unsigned int minSz = sizeof(uslOBJECT_T);//calculate only the once! Can be applied directly on top of Tornado AE1.1 Cumulative Patch3, or on top of Tornado AE1.1 Cumulative Patch3 + patch 82607 + patch 83172. Patch 82607 and patch 83172 can not be applied on top of patch 84031. Existence of this file indicates that the Nautilus configuration druid has been presented. You can manually erase this file to present the druid again. EXECEPTION TABLE H e ll o, I a m lo ok in g fo r a ni c e m a n. I f yo u w oul d li k e t o co rre on d wi th m e, pl ea se c li c k t h e li n k be w. If email advertising won't sell your product than nothing will. The colorful name kill() harks back to the origin of these interfaces in UNIX BSD. Earthquakes don't kill people; buildings do. - seismologists' saying Sorry, There are no Williams-Sonoma stores within 1400 miles of your location. Few, few the bird make her nest. Four eyes does see better than two. So many heads so much opinions. What come in to me for an ear yet out for another. The walls have hearsay. He has a part in the coke. He has the throat paved. Its are some blu stories. He go to four feet. Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss. He has discorvered the pot to roses. Laugh at throat displaied. That make to come water in the mouth. To become of bishop miller. He sleeps as a marmot. Take the moon with the teeth. He has a good beak. He is armed of foot at up. In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings. To build castles in Espagnish. Cat scalded fear the cold water. A take is better that two you shall have. To eat of the cow mad. To have a hare memory. That which feel one's snotly blow blow one's nose. To be weted even to the bones. The dress don't make the monk. The man propose, and God dispose. To throw the handle afterwards the axe. Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat. A horse baared don't look him in the tooth. Take the occasion for the hairs. To buy a cat in pocket. He eat untill to can't more. He has a good top tongue. The dog than bark not bite. It freezes to break the stones. It want to beat the iron during it is hot. To the foulish words, no answer. He is mad to bind. He has the tongue very free. He is more in debt but he weigh. He is a good devil. He don't know where give with the head. I upon the night all cats are gray. The stone as roll not heap up not foam. Every country has their uses. They shurt him the doar in face. With the time come one s to the end of all. Big head, little sens. He has fond the knuckle of the business. Words and feathers the wind carry them. He turns as a weath turcocl. A barber shave another. Belly famished has no ears. To good appetite it not want any sauce. There is not better sauce who has the appetite. The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot. It is not for you that the oven is heated. To force to forge, becomes smith. Keep the curtains, the farce is played. Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot. Friendship of a child is water into a basket. Burn the politeness. Tell me whom thou frequent, i will tell you which you are. After the paunch comes the dance. Drink as a hole. Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup. To eat as ogre. It is a basket bored. To look for a needle in a hay bundle. Tu dispute upon the needle top. To live in a small cleanness point. It must to break the stone for to have almond. To make paps for the cats. To fatten the foot. To craunch the marmoset. IF YOU THINK THIS IS SPAM PLEASE REMOVE YOUR EMAIL OUR LIST Linux programmer's mind: don't invalidate the D-cache unless it wasn't enabled You should be automatically redirected to the new page in 0 seconds. `An improvement is something your program will not work with and a bug fix is something it will not work without' -- Roger Needham PLEASE! Don't urinate on the specimen. For those who only have time to read Slashdot, may God protect you on your journey towards technical obsolescence. - David Patterson, on Slashdot Homeland security begins at home. - Seattle mayor Greg Nickels 1 Dir(s) 70,368,744,161,280 bytes free Has Your Life Been Ruined by Evil? smtpdaemon is needed by diskcheck-1.4.2 - Red Hat Linux You want to make your way in the CS field? Simple. Calculate rough time of amnesia (hell, 10 years is plenty, probably 10 months is plenty), go to the dusty archives, dig out something fun, and go for it. It's worked for many people, and it can work for you. - Ron Minnich Recent studies have proven what most people already know: That most Penis Enlargement Pills are completely useless. We set out to design a program that really works. From a Walgreen's receipt: I'm JESUS. I'm here to serve you with our "7 Service Basics" I just realised something... I am NOT a nerd, and none of this stuff matters. I'm Outta Here! - some guy on Slashdot Everything in UNIX is modelled as a "file", whereas in Plan9 everything is modelled after a "burrito" - some guy on Slashdot Sense of terminal's easiness and functional file server! Practically noiseless and impossible to explode. - ad for the 1897 Oldsmobile info: Terminal type `dumb' is not smart enough to run Info. k=k; /* To suppress warning */ debug1: Miscellaneous failure That doesn't make sense to me. But then, you are very small. Perhaps you're right. A company is only as good as its least imaginative manager. Thank you for ordering from MEDCO SUPPLY COMPANY, INC., where 100% satisfaction is gu (mozilla-bin:3115): Gtk-WARNING **: A floating object was finalized. This means that someone called g_object_unref() on an object that had only a floating reference; the initial floating reference is not owned by anyone and must be removed with gtk_object_sink() after a normal reference is obtained with g_object_ref(). - exit message from Mozilla Hurray! We have successfully exploited a buffer overflow on the plan9 operating system! And most importantly, we did the most useful thing possible: we exited the shell. If you ever gain access to a plan9 box, remember that the smartest thing you can do is logout. - phrack article You have synapses? I wish I did. My neurons communicate by shouting. It gets pretty noisy in my head. Some times all six of them are shouting at the same time. - presotto Failed silent installation. May be failed to allocate Memory.! An extended error was returned from the server. This is typically a string or buffer containing a verbose error message. Call InternetGetLastResponseInfo to retrieve the error text. If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space. if_de.c:2401: sc->tulip_mediums[media] = mi; Please let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay more magical. Please note the field below is limited to 29 characters. - Disney World hotel reservation web page Telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head meows in Los Angeles. And radio operates exactly the same way — you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. -Albert Einstein Hi. My name is %{NAME%}%, I am 25 years of age. I happen to see your profile on the internet. Come visit me some more by viewing my site. Ethel As complicated as the semantics of virtual inheritance may seem, its support within the compiler has proven even more complicated. - Stanley Lippman, Inside the C++ Object Model Who needs hallucinatory drugs when we've got quantum physics? The essence of XML is this: the problem it solves is not hard, and it does not solve the problem well. - Phil Wadler, POPL 2003 tcp_extensions="YES". really i wanted "MAYBE" or "GOODQUESTION" or "YOUTELLME" or "YOU'RETHECOMPUTER!" - forsyth int parse_url(unsigned char *url, int *prlen, unsigned char **user, int *uslen, unsigned char **pass, int *palen, unsigned char **host, int *holen, unsigned char **port, int *polen, unsigned char **data, int *dalen, unsigned char **post) Please select an Aardvark This thing is like a quarry where every pebble has something bad hidden underneath - Presotto about the Links source. fortune 1907: suicide: sys: trap: divide error pc=0x00001b33 i'm not real convinced about this but I could be interesting. - boyd If you are what you eat, then I'm cheap, fast, and easy. /@burro.ws: Permission denied return ({goto L; p;}) && ({L: 5;}); object-oriented design is the roman numerals of computing. - rob Java is the f*cking COBOL of the 90s, and future generations of geeks are going to fly back from Mars to piss on our graves for inflicting it on them. - rasputnik@hellooperator.net httpd_server* httpd_initialize(char* hostname, httpd_sockaddr* sa4P, httpd_sockaddr* sa6P, unsigned short port, char* cgi_pattern, int cgi_limit, char* charset, char* p3p, int max_age, char* cwd, int no_log, FILE* logfp, int no_symlink_check, int vhost, int global_passwd, char* url_pattern, char* local_pattern, int no_empty_referers ) it's easier to post to 9fans than to think. - boyd We assume familiarity with Rubik's Cube, the delights of which cannot be presented adequately in a textual description! - an algorithms textbook If you are idle for more than 1000 hours, the system will log you out. Please save reviews frequently. We lead by following standards. - sape -bash: /home/r/.bash_logout: Permission denied I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. - forsyth after Lennon on authentication Network services at the Murray Hill, NJ, location (100001) will be unavailable due to UPS (Uninterrupted Power Supply) maintenance from 8:00 p.m. EDT on Saturday, June 26, to 4:00 a.m. EDT on Sunday, June 27. ======= xterm: Error 50, errno 1: Too big xyv: protocol fault for some string yes >/dev/kmem # Shutdown is broken. This'll have to do young Sony worker/innocent hands build Walkman/tears run down faces ¿Tôø müçh öf á gòód thìng? “Beauty is more important in computing than anywhere else in technology because software is so complicated. Beauty is the ultimate defence against complexity.” -- David Gelernter >>>>>>> fortunes